God Bless the Children of the Beast

I awoke to the seductive smell of Eddie with his arms wrapped around me. I looked around and noticed the furnishings of Nikki’s Van Nuys house. Then I glanced up at my guitarist. He was already looking at me, slight concern in his eyes. Then I saw the sheet being placed over Nikki and I buried my face in his chest, tears blurring my vision.
Eddie’s hand brushed through my hair and I heard him “shhh” me until I stopped whining. “Where..” I started, but he placed his finger on my lips. “Everybody knows. They’re just a phone call away if you need them.” More tears filled my eyes. I made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a whimper, and he pulled me closer. “Hey come here, I want to show you something.” He said, picking me up. I held on tightly, afraid I would pass out again. He set me down gently and took my hand to steady me. I didn’t look where we were going, because I was too lost in my thoughts. That image played over and over in my head. Then memories from my childhood resurfaced, little evil Frankie from school, to a few years ago, meeting smartass Nikki at the Whiskey. The tears kept bubbling up.
Eddie told me to look up. I slowly wiped the tears from my eyes and recognized Nikki’s room. And there, lying on the bed, was Nikki. I laughed completely out of context as I wiped yet more tears from my eyes. Eddie gave me a confused look. I shook my head. “I must be high, it’s like he’s there in front of me.” “He is.” Eddie said gently. I let the words sink in. That’s really Nikki? But...I watched him die. He was in my arms. I couldn’t save him. I took a step back, shaking my head. Eddie stopped me. He gave me a light push towards the bed. I gulped my nervousness and reached out towards the pale body. I felt his skin, tender and warm, with his blood circulating in awkward cycles as it tried to dispel the drugs from his body. Then I turned to Eddie and whispered, “How.”
He explained how the paramedics revived him and he spent the night in the hospital before sneaking out. Eddie had come to get me and taken me here when he saw Nikki walk in, shoot up, and pass out. I looked him over and saw the needle still in his arm, a decent line of blood trailing down his arm. I pulled the needle out and threw it at the wall. Then I lay beside him and watched each labored breath he took.
Eddie returned to the chair in the other room. I stayed still for what could have been minutes or hours, I’m not even sure. To see him before me, still alive, barely breathing; it was more than I could have ever dreamed. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing though. He was gone. Really gone. And I didn’t do anything to save him. I couldn’t save him. All those months on tour and I just watched him grow further and further away from me. I dropped my head and cried. “I’m sorry.” I managed to whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned, frightened, to stare into the blue eyes of Peter. “Oh, Peter.” I sobbed, hugging him. “Hey Sami Sixx, it’s ok.” He soothed. He let me hug him for a minute, then helped me crawl off the bed. “Come with me, I need to talk to you.”
Wondering what else could possibly be wrong, I followed him out to see Aaron and Jackson there as well. I looked at the four of them worriedly. “We were on our way to come check on you.” Aaron started. “When we got here Eddie told us about Nikki.”
“But on the way we were listening to the radio.” Jax said slowly. I gave them a confused look, my vision blurry from my puffed eyes. “There was an interview on with Broken…Stolas and Jake to be exact.” I glared automatically, disgusted with how my old band had changed.
Peter spoke next, noticing how the others didn’t want to. “They heard about Nikki in the middle of the interview. Started bashing him and Crue, even you.” My hands flexed, finally deciding to shape themselves into fists at my side. I looked down, wishing Broken was glued to the floor so I could stomp all over them. “Sami, the whole world thinks he’s dead.”
“But he’s not!” I yelled, ending in another pathetic whimper. “We know Sam, we know.” Eddie said, “But what are we gonna do about Broken? Their reputation has been in flames since the festival, and they blame you. I bet they’re out for blood if they get the chance.” I remained silent, not sure of what he was saying.
“Sami, those guys aren’t what they used to be.” Jax said. “They’re bad, way bad, and it’s all from hanging out with that Stolas guy.” “How is that my problem?” I pouted. What did they want me to do about it? Not my band, not my problem. “It’s not.” A new voice said. My head snapped up to see Nikki leaning in the doorway. The blood had dried on his arm, his skin translucent, his hair messed up, his eyes red, and his balance faltering. I ran over to him and hugged him, careful not to knock him over. “I’m sorry.” I whined, not realizing the tears had begun once again. “Hey, what the fuck are you sorry about?” He said, pushing me away from him. “I couldn’t…I mean, I didn’t…” I started, but he kissed me before I could finish. A very weak kiss at that. I was just glad to feel his lips once again.
“I’m the one who should be sorry. Sorry for blowing you off. Sorry for getting so addicted. Sorry for not loving you the way I should.” He noticed my band mates staring at him like he was a ghost. He put on that cocky grin of his. “Sup guys, surprised to see me?” “Just a bit.” Aaron admitted. Nikki grinned. “Who wants to help me throw out all my junk and rigs?” They looked bewildered. In the Sixx house, even the thought of dumping his stash was forbidden. “Yes, I’m serious.” He said for good measure. Then he led us around his house, tossing all his shit into a giant bag. He was already having withdrawals pretty badly. Peter and Jax elected to run to the store and buy some halfway decent food to fill his kitchen with. When they returned we set up a decent buffet of make-it-yourself sandwiches. I let Nikki have some Jack, afraid the withdrawal would kill him again. Some alcohol had to be better than nothing at least.
Nikki downed his JD and called me over. “I promise I’ll never leave you again.” He said, looking in my eyes. For a moment I saw the boy on Nona’s porch whose eyes lit up when he saw me. “That’s it I swear, no more junk starting today. I’m going clean.” I glanced at him with doubt in my eyes. “I promise.” He said with finality. He stood up carefully. “I was going to wait until Christmas for this, but I want you to know I’m serious.” He reached into the narrow pocket of his leathers. At first I thought he was collapsing, but realized he was kneeling. In his hand was a ring. The tears started again.
“Sami…Caroline Raine, will you marry me?”
“Yes.” I breathed, pushing back my tears. “Woot woot Sami Sixx!” Peter yelled, and the guys started clapping as he placed the ring on my finger.