You Mean More to Me Than Words Could Ever Say

I woke up that morning, with my head still resting in Gerard’s lap. Now that I was fully awake, I got some sense knocked into me. This was weird, I wasn’t close with Gerard. Sure we were pretty much friends now, but we aren’t close enough for this. I don’t know why I told myself I liked it, and felt comfortable. It must have been the sleep talking. This was just plain awkward. Slowly, I shifted my body and lifted up my head, careful not to wake him up. I sat up and glanced at the clock. It was only 10 in the morning, much too early for me. I stole a glance at Gerard, only to be met by his open eyes. Great, he had been awake, I was caught. He stared at me calmly, smirking slightly. It was a different smirk, not really his usual mischievous one, but one that looked like he was trying not to laugh, or maybe was embarrassed.

“Sleep well?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

“I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” he cut me off, waving his hand at me.

“S’okay. Don’t care.” he said, sounding like he ment it. I nodded my head.

“Alright.”

“Coffee?” he asked.

“You know me so well.” he smiled, starting up the coffee pot as I looked over at a sleeping Mikey. We had our coffee, and then I left, seeing Mikey wasn’t waking up anytime soon. Gerard and I drew all over his face with a sharpie. He never even moved, It was fun. Gerard really is a cool guy. I wonder why he was a dick when I first met him.

I called up Bob and Ray in a three way phone call, telling them I found a bassist and a singer. They asked how good they were, and I told them fucking incredible. They asked who, and I let them know, with Ray claiming he knew who Gerard was but never said anything to him. I told Bob he was in our music class, and described him, and then he understood. Ray said I sounded like I was in love with the kid. I laughed at his outrageous comment, knowing that was impossible, and defended myself. He claimed getting defensive at a simple joke was a sign. I laughed and hung up. My friends were fucking nuts.

The second after I hung up, I got a text from Mikey.

Mikey: “You little fucking shit!”

I sent him a picture of me giving the puppy dog eyes, with a caption that read ‘Forgive me?’

Mikey: “No.”

I chuckled and threw my phone down on the bed, walking to the bathroom to have a shower. The hot water made me feel exhausted. I layed on the bed closing my eyes to relax a bit, still in my towel, but I fell asleep.

X~x~X~x~X

I walked through the school hallways, trying to find Bob and Ray. They weren’t anywhere to be found. I looked at my feet, avoiding eye contact, when suddenly, I bumped into someone. I looked up finding it was Gerard. He didn’t say anything, but instead grabbed my wrist and tugged me into the nearest bathroom. He locked the door, pinning me up against it, and bringing his mouth to mine. I kissed him back, hesitantly, then finding I liked it as he shoved a hand down my pants.

“Ge-rard! Fuck.” I exclaimed. He removed his hand, teasing me. He brought his lips to my ear, blowing on it, before nibbling my ear lobe. I moaned with satisfaction. He pulled me closer, pushing my crotch against his as he rocked back and forth, our packages colliding and creating blissful pleasure. I was more turned on than I ever was before. He never spoke, never moaned, or made a sound. He just stared me down. I felt myself becoming close already. It had only been a couple minutes and our skin wasn’t even touching.

“Gerard. Gerard. Gerard!” I just kept calling his name, never ending. I said it so many times, even after I came.

“Frank!” I jolted awake, finding my mother at my bedside.

“Mom?” I slowly sat up. She wore a worried expression.

“Are you okay hun? You had a nightmare.” I nodded, then realized I was in a towel.

“For fucks sake mom, get out! I’m in a towel.” she slapped me hard across the face.

“You watch that language.” she growled, before leaving. I dragged myself out of bed, holding the towel closely to my body. I removed it in the bathroom, knowing I was going to have to take another shower. I had a mess between my legs. I stepped into the shower, turning it on and standing there for a few moments, registering what just happened. I had a wet dream about Gerard. What the actual fuck. I crinkled my nose, disgusted. What the hell was wrong with me! I’m not gay, and I could never think of Gerard like that. Could I? I disregarded that thought immediately.

When I got out of the shower, I checked my phone. It was almost 8 pm. I passed out for 7 or 8 hours. Now I was never going to sleep tonight, and I had school tomorrow. Sure enough, once I laid down that night at 11, I didn’t fall asleep till 1. Not only was my dream bothering me, but I was restless from already sleeping. Once I did fall asleep, I woke up again at 5, and just laid in bed till about 6:30 when I had to get up for school. My mom came in to see me already up and smiled, giving me a thumbs up, and then left.

I arrived to history class, receiving death glares from Mark and his friend, whos name I still didn’t bother to learn. Isabelle grabbed my sleeve as I walked passed.

“What did we do at the party?” she asked. The alcohol must have really affected her. I was used to it, I could handle it better. She must’ve forgotten what happened. Should I tell her? I decided against it.

“Nothing.” she saw the look on my face and knew I was lying. She picked up her bag and threw me into the hall, pulled me by my shirt and taking me outside.

“I can’t afford to get a detention.” I told her. I really couldn’t. My mom would flip. Imagine her reaction while intoxicated. She drank every night after work. And bipolar disorder didn’t mix very well with alcohol. Isabelle rolled her eyes.

“Go to the nurse after. Ask for an ice pack, then get a pass. You’ll be fine.” she said. I shrugged. It could work. The nurse was cool. I used to go there all the time, considering I’d get the shit beat outta me every week. We were on first name terms, and I could joke along with her easily.

“Okay...well why’d you bring me out here?” I asked. She rolled her eyes yet again, sighing.

“Frank, I know we did stuff at the party. I just can’t remember how far it went. And by the look on your face and the way you responded, I can tell you know more than I do. I want to know exactly what we did, and now.” she growled the last word, getting closer to my face, anger filling her eyes. I was intimidated but slightly turned on.

“You blew me. I fingered you.” I choked out. She didn’t even flinch. “That’s as far as it went.” I told her, feeling awkward. I looked down at my feet. She sighed out heavily.

“Alright, thank god. I can tell you’re being honest.” I nodded.

“Yeah.” I started to turn away, but she pulled me back. Before I could react, her mouth was on mine. I kissed back. Memories of my dream came flooding back to me, but I pushed them aside. I needed a reminder I was definitely straight, so I continued kissing her, letting her tongue enter my mouth. I fought for dominance, succeeding and biting her lower lip to show I was in control. She gasped against my lips, her breath passing from her mouth to mine. I closed the space between our lips once more, before pulling back.

“You’re a good kisser.” she told me.

“I know.” she laughed and punched my arm.

“I like you Frankie.” I froze at this nickname, then registered what she said. Did I like her as well? I figured I did, I was attracted to her, and her company was kind of nice.

“I like you too.” I said, before I could change my mind.

“Good.” and with that, she walked off to the parking lot. Guess she wasn’t coming back to class. I headed to the nurse.

“Hey, Rach.” she nodded at me.

“Oh no Frank, what brings you here? I haven’t seen you since last year.” Racheal said.

“Someone opened a door on me by accident in the hallway. I need an ice pack for my forehead.” I said. She chuckled.

“Dipshit.” she said, tossing me an ice pack. She filled out a pass before I even had to ask.

“Thanks.” she smiled, as I turned to leave and grabbed the door knob. As I opened it, she called out to me.

“Take care, airhead!” I laughed, closing the door and making my way to history. Mark eyed me up and down, smirking at me and giving a glance that said ‘I’m gonna kill you.’ I shivered and took my seat.

Thanks alot Gerard.