Dizzy Up the Girl

If asked about it at a later date, I would steadfastly say that I didn’t swoon over Harry once he told me his name, but it would be a complete lie. I was never very social amongst my friends at school, and I hadn’t talked to anyone but my mom and my doctors for the past week. This type of Elizabeth-on-boy interaction didn’t happen very often, and it could be said that I fall for every boy I meet. But I guess that comes from my inexperience.

My conversation with the boys went from awkward silence to idle chatter about ourselves. Apparently, the boys were here for a friend as he had some sort of illness, and he’d needed medical attention. I also learned the boys were from overseas as if their accents didn’t make it obvious. Niall told me about how annoying it was to bleach his hair, to which I told him to stop, but he said it was more complicated than that. Before I had a chance to question him about how dying one’s hair could be so complex, Harry came in and asked me about myself. I gestured to my bracelet, telling them about how I had been admitted, but I stopped short of telling them why. Telling someone else about my diagnosis would make this all seem too real, and that wasn’t something I was ready to face again.

We had only been taking for about ten minutes when a loud noise began blaring from outside. Through the walls, I could hear the familiar siren of an ambulance approaching the hospital as a voice came from the overhead speakers. A women’s voice came through the intercom, asking for several doctors to head towards the emergency room as the ambulance was making its way towards the hospital. The siren got louder and louder until it disappeared all together, and I drew my shoulders together before letting out a breath.

“Well, I hope they’re okay...whoever they are. I bet the ambulance had a fun time getting through that massive crowd outside though,” I quipped as I rested my head on my hands. Niall and Harry stayed quiet for a moment before laughing. I looked towards Harry to see him nervously run his fingers through his hair again, and I knew that they weren’t telling me something. Tilting my head to see the clock behind Niall, I watched as the time read that it was nearly eight o’clock. From inside the cafeteria, I could barely hear the crowd anymore, and I began to wonder whether or not security finally forced them to leave. Deciding to push the issue, I lifted my head up before looking towards Niall.

“You know, that was the reason why I was coming down here. I couldn’t figure out why there was a crowd outside. I mean, that’s definitely not normal over here and all...,” I trailed off, but Niall cut in.

“What were you thinking it was then?” I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to think of what I had been expecting to find when I left my room but nothing came to mind.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I was just hoping for some excitement really. There’s not much of that here these days,” I said slowly, thinking about my time here at the hospital. The days were long, the nights were even longer, and my company left much to be desired. My parents were always busy working, so seeing them happened when they could get off. All of my friends were now at university, studying and making something of themselves, and here I was...sitting in a hospital cafeteria with two strangers.

“I’m sure it was nothing. I didn’t see anything in the hallways,” Harry said after a moment.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It just gets boring around here. I don’t think this is where anybody wants to be, you know?” The boys kept quiet, obviously keying in that I was speaking from experience, but I shook the thought away. Pity isn’t something I strived for and being pessimistic is anything but an attractive quality to wear around. “But it’s been great talking to you two. I don’t get to talk to many people my age. You can usually find me in my room, messing around with my guitar or reading a book. So, this is nice.”

“You play?” I looked over towards Niall to see an excited grin on his face.

“Yeah, I’ve played for a while actually. The nurses act like they don’t want me playing all the time, but I’ve seen them singing along to the songs I’ve played. They don’t look like it, but some of them can really reach those high notes,” I replied. Niall elbowed Harry casually, both of them laughing at what was likely just another inside joke. “I take it you play then,” I asked Niall with a pointed look.

He smiled shortly before nodding his head. “Yeah. My mates and I learned how to play back home.”

“I’m jealous. None of my friends were interested in learning with me. But good for you! Are you all in a band or something,” I went on. Looking towards Harry, his lips were crooked into a smile, and Niall just looked at me closely.

“Eh, yeah, you could say that.”

We talked for a bit longer, while I decided to drop the question about what had happened outside earlier, until I noticed the clock read that it was nearly nine. I stood up, taking the boy’s attention with me as I did, before gesturing towards the time.

“I’d hate to say it, but I should probably be getting back up to my room. I have to get up early tomorrow...I think. Either way, I’m sure someone has noticed that I’ve left by now,” I said in a small voice, hoping that my nerves wouldn’t show through. Niall and Harry stood up as well, and I noticed that Harry was dressed just as smartly as Niall, wearing a blazer and loose skinny jeans. I went to grab my tray, but Niall grabbed both of ours before I could stop him, and I poked him in the arm.

“Hey! Now, what are you doing that for?”

“Why can’t all boys be so polite? Is it an Irish thing or what?” He shook his head before making his way over to the trashcan with Harry and I following.

“No, love, I think it means you’ve been hanging around the wrong boys,” he replied, and I felt my face heat up.

“Besides, it’s not just an Irish thing. I can be a gentlemen as well.” I turned towards Harry as we began walking towards the elevator. I snorted, causing the others to laugh at my expense, but they had calmed down by the time we entered the elevator. We each chose which floor we needed to go to, and as we came upon their stop, I bit my lip anxiously.

Looking them over, I couldn’t help but frown. They would go visit their friend, wait for him to be discharged, and then they would be gone. And, as for me, I would still be stuck watching the world through my windowsill in a cold, hospital room. Soon enough, however, my thoughts were interrupted by the elevator’s next stop. The doors slid open, and with a lazy wave goodbye and a nod, the boys began to exit. They had made it off and turned down the hallway before I found my voice.

“Wait!” Niall turned around, bumping into Harry as he went, as they both turned to face me. I got off the elevator, hearing the doors slide shut behind me, and I walked closer to them. Surprisingly enough, they met me halfway, and I struggled to find the words to say.

“Uh, you alright, Elizabeth?” I looked up at Harry, who was now smiling, saying almost exactly what I had said to him earlier in the night. I let out a shaky laugh, suddenly feeling a heavy weight settle in my stomach, and I desperately tried to knock that knot out of my throat. Because, honestly, what kind of girl would I be to start crying over these boys after only knowing them for a few hours?

“I just...um....thank you.”

“You’re welcome? I wasn’t aware we did anything worthy of being thanked,” Harry said before glancing towards Niall, who looked equally as confused. I took a moment, still grappling to keep my emotions under control, and I worked a smile onto my face.

“No, you didn’t really, but you still did. Sorry, I know that I’m not making much sense. I never do. But thank you for talking to me. It gets really lonely here, but for tonight, it didn’t seem so bad.”

“Is that all? Ellie, don’t worry about it. If we hadn’t wanted to talk to you, we’d have left. No need to apologize for that,” Niall said, and I looked at him strangely.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah, I’m going to call you that, if you don’t mind. Elizabeth is kind of a mouthful.” I laughed, but I felt the weight in my stomach grow as I looked at them.

“When you get out of here, Elizabeth, you won’t be so lonely. I promise,” I looked towards Harry, who was grinning at me, and the knot in my throat made it impossible to swallow.

“Well, I’m not too sure about that,” I said softly. The boys, however, laughed.

“What? You think you’ll still be lonely, Ellie?” Taking a shallow breath and looking down at my shoes for a moment, I glanced towards Niall with a soft look.

“No, it’s the getting out of here part that I’m not so sure about.”

For a second, I was expecting the boys to crack another joke or carry on with some banter that went over my head, but I found myself met with silence after my careful confession. Niall seemed taken back by what I had just said, and Harry seemed to be as well. I cleared my throat, trying to take a deep breath, before going on.

“I mean, everyone says that I’m being overdramatic and all. Treatment will fix this, medicine will ease that, and chemotherapy will take care of the rest. That’s all I ever hear. Don’t pay attention to the odds because you can beat them. It’s pretty routine by this point. I have been in and out of the hospital for three years, and it’s hard not to think that I might never leave this place for good,” I went on, my voice getting stronger as I went as my chest swelled with each word.

“So, you have...”

“Cancer. Osteosarcoma, to be exact,” I answered, knowing where Niall’s question was going. He stared at me, and I felt trapped under his gaze. Words began working their way back up my mouth, and I glanced over towards Harry, who was now looking at me with what I had dreaded: pity.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling this to you guys. I mean, it’s crazy, right? I don’t even know you. Just don’t look at me like that, alright? I just wanted to say thanks because I don’t get to talk to a lot of people these days, and I’m about to start radiation again, and my hair is going to fall out again, and I must sound really pathetic right now, don’t I,” I rambled, forcing myself to stop the proverbial word vomit that was escaping my lips. I looked down, feeling embarrassed for harassing the boys when I felt something grab me. I looked up to be met face to face with Harry, who squeezed my shoulder.

“We’ll drop by tomorrow. I’m sure we can find some time to come up and see you, okay? Niall is probably just dying to hear you play guitar. I pretend to play, but he says that I’m no good.” I smiled weakly, still trying to steady my breathing and my nerves, before nodding.

“Now, why doesn’t that surprise me, Harry,” I joked. They both laughed, and I began to feel the weight in my stomach loosen along with the knot in my throat. Taking in a deep breath, I looked towards Niall. “And, don’t worry, I don’t think the nurses will mind if we broke out the guitar tomorrow. I think it livens up their day,” I told him with a stronger voice. He smiled down at me before reaching towards me and giving me a hug.

At first, the only thing I could think of what just good it felt. Hugging him back, I placed my head in the crook of his neck, and I took a deep breath. He smelled good, a combination of aftershave and something I couldn’t quite place, before he let go. I took a step back, looking over the boys once more, before looking back to the elevator.

“I think I should, you know, actually go now. Thanks again,” I said as I reached over and pressed the button for the elevator.

“What are you thanking us for nnow,” Niall replied as the elevator doors opened.

“For listening.” I headed towards the elevator, but before heading inside, I turned back to the two boys who were watching me. “I’m holding you to it, by the way. I expect visitors tomorrow,” I said as I entered the elevator and pressed what floor I needed to go to. As the doors shut, I heard Harry or Niall say something from the hallway, but I couldn’t quiet make out what it was. The elevator began climbing with a slight jerk, and I leaned against the side of the elevator as I had just some odd hours ago before two quirky boys made my night.

And that night as I snuggled into bed, curling up in my covers to keep warm, it would be a lie to say that I didn’t think about what tomorrow might have in store.