Homelessly In Love

Chapter Two: Nathaniel

The automatic doors of my companies building swing open as my shiny Italian shoes hit the black doormat in front of it. The smell of coffee and floor cleaner hit my nose as I saunter across the lobby towards the elevator as though I don’t have a care in the world. I smile at those that wave at me from across the floor and wink at the receptionist that gives me those eyes that just scream ‘I wanna fuck’ but I never broke my stride as I reach the elevator. Pushing the up button I wait for it to arrive before stepping inside and hitting the button to the top floor. As the doors close I let my eyes fall shut and lean against the back of the elevator walls.

I got nearly no sleep last night. Half the company and most of my friends would probably say that it was because I was banging some dumb blonde until the early hours of the morning but in reality, I was up fighting off a panic attack brought on by the lonely thoughts that tend to consume my mind every time I go home to the barren wasteland I call my house.

I live alone in an ‘elite’ neighborhood on the upper east side of town in big white house equipped with 6 bedrooms, 2 ½ bathrooms, a full basement, fully stocked kitchen, a home theatre, swimming pool, white fence and nobody inside but me myself and I. Sighing to myself I realize I should probably invest in a dog but then I realize that because of my hectic work schedule, the poor thing would probably die of starvation with how long it would take me to remember feed it. Shaking my head at the thoughts I step out of the elevator on the top level and head into my office at the end of the floor.

As I walk down the hallway I can feel eyes on me and I put that signature fake ass smirk back on my face so that my ‘masculine’ and ‘handsomely powerful’ façade doesn’t fall in public. Glancing at my watch I see that I still have 7 ½ hours before I’m off work. Great. Seven and a half hours of faking before I can finally go home and get back to wallowing in self-pity. Unlocking and entering my office I walk over to the big windows that cover two of my office walls and look out. I can see nearly the whole city of Seattle from these windows and it makes me feel so small. In the middle of this big city with thousands of people and yet I’m all alone. I hate it.

I run my hand through my hair and walk over to my desk plopping down in my big soft chair and sift through the files I have to fill out for the day. There isn’t much work to be done on normal days when you’re CEO of a company. Mostly I just go to board meetings where I listen to people pitch ideas to help us and tell them whether they suck or not. Besides that all I ever do is sign checks, fill out analysis forms for the people that work for me and watch as my staff takes care of all the real work for me. I grab a pen and start going through the three files on my desk that all say the same thing: ‘so and so did this and this and I’m complaining because I have nothing better to do with my time.’

My phone buzzed as I reached for the last file and I sighed pressing the red button to answer,

“Yes Lisa?” I ask my secretary,

“I have a Carla and Marie Santiago here for you sir?” she asks and I sigh.

Carla and Marie Santiago are two of the women in my life that I truly have almost hate for. It’s not full on hate because I feel like nobody’s capable of completely hating someone, but I have enough dislike for these women to know that I don’t like being in their presence. Every time they come around they flirt shamelessly with me like common whores with no dignity and no matter how many times I shoot both of them down they get their crazy asses right back up and come back at me again. The only reason I even allow them to be on company property is because they’re the twin daughters of my father’s best friend and my biggest company allies and apparently it’d be bad for business to be on their bad side.

“Send them in,” I tell her reluctantly and I shuffle my papers on my desk into stacks to make my office more presentable for the ladies. I have no idea why they’re here but whatever the reason I want it taken care of and have them out of my house within the hour.

I fix my suit and stand behind the edge of my desk as the ladies walk in looking like hookers. Marie is barely covered in a black extra tight mini skirt, a red blouse that had her overly large fake breasts hanging out and a pair of five inch red heels that looked like they fell right out of the Wizard of Oz. Her face is covered in make up with her bottle blonde hair teased up in what fails to be the sex hair she was going for. Her sister Carla is dressed just like her simply having blue where she has red. I shook my head at the pair and plastered a smile on my face.

“Good morning ladies” I say politely and they both give me identical sinister smiles. I cringe in disgust on the inside but my face tells nothing. I keep my smile in place and the ladies are none the wiser.

I gesture towards the chairs in front of my desk, “Have a seat” I offer and they swiftly take up the opportunity sitting and making sure their skirts rode up on their thighs giving me more than an eyeful of what god gave them. I refrain from cringing and take my seat behind my desk smiling politely,

“What can I do for you ladies?” I ask and they share a look before Carla begins to speak,

“Well, my dad sent us over here to check and make sure that everything was running smoothly” she said and I could tell she was lying. A phone call would have sufficed for that information so for them to make a trip there must have been something else they wanted to talk to me about.

“Does he doubt my ability to run my company?” I ask sounding offended and she corrects her statement quickly,

“No of course not it’s just-” she starts and I interrupt,

“Then we’re done here?” I ask standing and heading to the door and Marie quickly steps in,

“Actually” she starts, “There was something else we needed to talk about” she says and I inwardly sigh. Taking my seat I look at them both waiting for one of them to speak,

“Well?” I ask not too politely, “I’m sorry ladies but I do have a company to run and quite frankly I just don’t have the time for this.” I say and Marie gets to the point,

“Well it seems our fathers were talking” she begins and Carla pipes in,

“And they think it would be wonderful if-”

“Our companies were bonded together in more ways than just allied partners.” Marie finishes and I look at them slightly confused,

“How else do they think we should be bonded?” I ask and both the girls get big grins on their faces,

“Our fathers have come to the fantastic conclusion that it would be just amazing if you and one of us got married” Marie says and I feel my mind blank in shock.

I just about choke on my own spit, “Excuse me?” I ask but they don’t hear me as they’ve both started explaining why they’d be the better bride. I look at them as though they are absolutely psychotics. Yeah, my father’s lost his mind with this one.

“I think it’s just fantastic, I mean, we’d be like so amazingly gorgeous together don’t you think?” Marie asks

“Not even. Obviously he and I would make a better couple, and our kids would be so much more attractive I mean just look at our eye colors, they’d mix beautifully” Carla says and Marie defends,

“But of course my skin tone and his would mesh like awesomely together”

“Ladies” I try to cut in but find myself being ignored.

“Yeah, maybe if you popped that zit on your face” Carla says rudely and her sister gasps holding a manicured hand up to her forehead and reaching into her purse for a mini-mirror with the other.

“Well at least I don’t have an ass the size of Texas!” Marie nearly shouts and her sister gasps and stands up,

“At least I’m not a whore!”

“Come on now girls” I try again in vein,

“I’m not a whore!” Marie stands as well getting in her face and then their silent for a moment in a tense staring contest and I feel like it’s the perfect time to intervene before they start going blow for blow.

Stepping up I put a hand on each of their shoulders and they finally acknowledge my presence. Both jump a little and turn to look at me, smoothing down their now rumpled hair and clothes and smiling widely like that little spat didn’t just happen. I shake my head,

“There’s really no need for you two to be fighting” I start and think of how I can let them down gently, “This has all just been a misunderstanding and as much as I’d like to marry either one of you” I lie and almost feel bad when I see the hope in their eyes, “I’m just really not looking for a committed relationship right now despite what my father thinks” I tell them and they look slightly dejected before their faces lights up at the same time and they speak at the same time,

“We don’t have to be committed,” they screech and I actually grab my ear but of course they don’t notice. I shake my head finally tired of having to be nice,

“No, I don’t think you ladies are getting it. I don’t want a relationship right now, uncommitted or committed and especially not with either of you. I’m sorry but I’ll never be able to date either one of you, not only is it bad for business but I just really am not in a place right now where I can be in a serious relationship because I don’t do casual.” I say and they finally seem to get it as they wear sad faces for a moment before nodding and turning to me.

“Well” Carla stepping up to me and putting her hand on my chest, “When you decide that you are ready for a relationship, you give me a call alright sugar?” she says and I see her sister look murderous. I try not to cringe as I nod,

“I’ll do that” I say, “It was nice meeting with you ladies, I’m going to give our fathers a call and let them know that this just isn’t going to work.” I say and watch as they saunter out of my office still walking with what they want to be a seductive switch in their hips. I shake my head, sigh and take a seat back at my desk to call my father. He’s gone just a bit too far meddling with my personal life.

Dialing his number I try and collect my thoughts and think about what I actually want to say to him. If he asks why I don’t want to marry one of the Santiago twins what do I tell him? I can’t very well tell him the truth and I think that’s what pisses me off the most, the fact that I’m a grown ass man, I live on my own and am the CEO of one of the top production companies in America and yet I’m too scared to come out to my parents or more specifically my father and tell him that his son doesn’t like women.

I suppose it would have been easier to come out as a teenager for most people but my dad had always had this dream for me. He’d worked his ass off for his company to get to where it was and he’d got it in his head that I was going to go to college, graduate, take over the company, settle down with a nice pretty woman, have a couple kids, retire and then leave the company in the hands of my son. He never once asked me if that’s what I wanted, if that was what I dreamed of and I never told him.

I was too scared of disappointing him to actually tell him the truth, that I was gay and that I wanted to be a photographer. I’d always had this nightmare that if I did that he’d bitch slap me, call the pastor at the local church to come do an exorcism and then send me back to work in the company. It was unrealistic yes considering my father was a generally laid back non-church going man but I refused to test the theory.

When he finally picked up the phone he spoke happily, as though expecting good news,

“Hey son” he says

“Dad” I answer back and I can hear the frown in his voice as I reply,

“What’s the matter Nathaniel?” he asks and I grimace at the use of my full name, only him and my mother can get away with calling me that. Even all of my employees call me Mr. Parker or Nate.

“Did you really send the Santiago twins over here to offer them up to be married to me?” I ask him trying not to get angry, “What the hell dad? Can I not find my own spouse? What is this, The Bachelor? And you picked the Santiago twins? Of every female in Seattle you had to pick the Santiago twins? Have you lost your mind dad? They’re whores!” I exclaim, looking at the door to make sure it’s locked, as I don’t need anyone to hear their boss yelling about whores.

“Now Nathaniel, there’s no reason to be angry. Your mother and I know that you’re perfectly capable of finding your own woman” I grimace, “But you haven’t dated since you were a senior in high school and we were worried about you. We just don’t want you to grow up alone.” he tries to reason with me and all I can seem to find are flaws in his twisted ass logic.

“Dad listen-” I start, prepared to be disowned, fired and homeless at the confession I’m about to let come out my mouth but I don’t get the word out as he cuts me off,

“Look Nathaniel, we don’t want you to be angry, we were really just trying to help. Your mother and I aren’t getting any younger here and as your brother is only just starting college we don’t want him to feel like he should be the ones giving us grandchildren right now” he says and I can hear the sadness in his voice, “I just don’t want your future to take a turn for the worse like mine did and have us never get to hold our grandchildren” he says and I can tell he’s thinking about his own parents that died before they had a chance to meet me and my brother.

My father had been a lot like me when he was my age. He would wake up, go to work, eat and come home. Everyday that’s all he ever did until he met my mom when he was 36. He didn’t stop immediately though, he continued to work and work and work until finally my mother threatened to leave him if he didn’t spend some kind of time with her. He cut down his hours just a bit and they got engaged when they were 38.

His mother passed away to kidney failure six months after their engagement and his father only lasted until three months after they were married before he caught some kind of pneumonia that winter and combined with his lung issues it didn’t take long before he had left the world. He was never particularly close to his parents and their death had made my dad realize the importance of family. He never failed to make it clear how he much he wanted to be a grandpa. That just adds to the reason I’d never be able to tell him, the look on his face when he remembered that two guys couldn’t give birth would kill me. I sighed,

“Dad, I know but you can’t force someone on me. When I get married, it’ll be because I’m happy and in love. I don’t want to be with someone I don’t choose for myself.” I told him sincerely.

“I know son, we’re sorry but you know me and your mother only want what’s best for you” he says and I nod even though he can’t see me.

“I know dad, I don’t mean to yell, I was just angry,” I tell him and I can hear his sigh of relief at the anger no longer being in my voice.

“I love you son”

“I love you too dad. I’ll call you later this week,” I tell him. We say our goodbyes and I lean back in my chair.

Great.

Once again, I’d bitched out and failed to tell my father about my sexuality. I’m almost a twenty two year old man, I’ve been gay for ten years and I still haven’t had a chance to tell my dad. I ran my hand through my hair again and decided that it was time for me to just take the rest of the day off. I wasn’t really doing anything anyway and I had no more meetings on my schedule so I figured I could just head home and I if was needed, they’d call me.

Being CEO had its perks every once in a while.

I called Lisa to let her know I was leaving for the day and headed to the elevator. When I got to the first floor I headed out the building and took in a big breath of fresh air. I heard a groan to my side looked over and saw a young boy, barely out of high school he looked, sitting on the ground clutching his stomach and looking to be in pain. Curiously I walked over to him and bent down to his level, I place my hand on his shoulder and watch as he flinched from me before opening his eyes to meet mine.

The most gorgeous green eyes opened up to me and I smiled at him sympathetically,

“You alright?” I ask him and he looks hesitant,

“I-I’m f-fine” he stutters and I know he’s lying but I decide that if he really wanted my help he’d ask so I look at him for a moment watching as he looks almost afraid of me.

“My name’s Nate” I tell him softly, “What’s your name?” I ask and barely hear his soft reply,

“Cameron”

“It’s nice to meet you Cameron,” I tell him as I stand back up, and he nods at me as I turn to walk away. I had half a mind to give him money but from the look he had in his eyes, I just knew that the last thing Cameron needed was for someone else to give him pity money. He had a proud look about him and I could tell that he’d never willingly take something from anyone if it weren’t absolutely necessary. I didn’t feel the need to hurt the boys pride so I just leave.

As I get into my car I look back into my rearview mirror and see Cameron still sitting there up against the building staring at my car with a confused expression on his face and I feel this strong urge in my heart to turn around, throw him in my car, take him home and keep him safe. I had no idea why and that scared me just a little bit. So fighting every light going off in my body, I turn to the road and drive away, glancing back in my rearview mirror until Cameron’s body is nothing more than a dot on the horizon.