Homelessly In Love

Chapter Four: Cameron

“Will you let me help you?” The man that told me his name was Nathaniel asks and I can’t help but hesitate. I know it’s raining and that it’s cold and that I’m keeping him but I can’t really decide. He looks like a nice man, like someone that really wouldn’t hurt me like he’d promised, but Richard had said the same thing, and that didn’t turn out too well for me. I look up him hesitantly and I see the hope shining in his eyes, the little sliver of light in them begging me to say yes, so I do.

“Okay” I say in barely a whisper and despite the cold pounding rain, Nathaniel smiles. He puts out his hand and I stare at it for a moment longer than necessary before grabbing ahold of it and allowing him to help me to my feet.

He guided me to his car with one hand around my waist and the other still holding my hand like he thought I would fall over and die any second. When we get to his car he opens the door for me, reaches in and places a towel over what looks to be expensive leather, and motions for me to sit. Once again I hesitate but move quickly into the passenger seat when a strike of lightening glows in the sky and scares me into my seat.

When I’m fastened into the seat he runs around the car and straps himself into the drivers side. I tense up and sit ramrod straight on reflex as he starts driving. Memories flash through my mind as we stop at a light and Nathaniel turns to look at me. I cringe and instinctively push myself closer to the window away from his piercing gaze. He frowns and me and I close my eyes tight grimacing as I realize that getting into the car with this man was probably not the best idea.

I sigh a little from relief when I feel the car pull away from the intersection as I realize I’m safe for the moment, as long as the car is moving. I open my eyes again to peek over at Nathaniel only to find him scowling at the road. I begin to fidget nervously in my seat realizing that he’s angry with me for something. I speak softly, hoping to appease him even a little bit,

“Thank you” I say in barely a whisper and he looks at me in shock for a moment, mouth wide open before he nods a little with a small smile playing on his face.

“You’re welcome” he says pulling the car into a gated community and its then that I think to look at the clock and realize that we’ve been driving for the better half of an hour and we’re now on a side of town I’d never dreamed I’d ever even look at in person.

The thing about Seattle is its obvious to tell how wealthy or how much money a person has by the place they live. Downtown is the business district with homeless “bums” and poor people living there in little apartments and whatnot. The middle of the city has some decent sized homes made for middle class families and about an hour from Parker Industries, there’s a whole bunch of gated communities that contain nothing short of mini mansions.

Over the years I’d heard stories about how all these houses had butlers and maids, and that the people that lived here were stuck up rich people that did and got whatever they wanted without ever having to face consequences for their actions. Growing up struggling and hearing of these peoples easy lives, I’d hated them without ever knowing their names but here, looking at Nathaniel now and seeing the kindness in him, I didn’t feel that anymore. Well, not for him anyway.

Knocking on my window startled me back into reality and I jumped as I looked to my right to find Nathaniel there with a questioning look on his face. I open the door and step out slowly as he leads me to the front door of his house/mansion thing. I shuffle quietly behind him, my eyes glued to the ground only looking up when I hear the key click in the doors lock.

My eyes widen as Nathaniel motions me into the house and I find myself staring into the nicest house I’ve ever seen. The front door opens right up to a marble floored foyer that lets you see straight through to the back door. There are two staircases on both sides that wind up and around to a balcony that oversees the entire first floor. There are paintings scattered tastefully all over the walls and nice warm beige looking paint. There’s an obvious feminine touch to the house and I can tell that his wife or girlfriend must have designed it. My heart clinched a bit at the thought but I simply shook my head and focused my thoughts back on Nathaniel to see what he wanted me to do.

“Do you like it?” he asked curiously and I stall for a moment. I do like it, a lot, but I’ve never actually been asked my opinion on something like someone else’s house. Even though I love the house, I hate to think of what would happen if I said something to upset him so I just nod my head.

“Good” he smiles and begins to walk, motioning for me to follow, “C’mon, I’ll get you some dry clothes and something to eat.” He says leading me up the right staircase, down a long hallway to the very end where there were two double doors that opened up to a giant room that I assumed was his.
He kicked off his shoes and looked at me,

“Do you mind taking off your shoes?” he says gently and I look down and nod kicking off my dirty old running shoes, cringing in shame when I notice how bad they look compared to his expensive Italian leather dress shoes.

While I’m still standing there wallowing in self pity Nathaniel has walked away and come back with a t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts with a draw string.

“They’re probably a little big, because you’re a little on the skinny side, but its all I have that you’ll be able to wear” he says apologetically and I feel a sharp pain in my chest at his comment on my weight.

I knew I was less than the average weight, but I couldn’t afford to eat right and it was definitely one of my biggest insecurities. Richard loved to make fun of it when I was there and since then I cant stand people to point it out. I sighed heavily and started to strip down and change. I had just gotten my hoodie off and over my head when Nathaniel put his hands out to stop me,

“Whoa, what are you doing?” he asks urgently and I look at him in confusion,

“What?” I ask quietly and uncertainly. I always had to change when and where I was given clothes when I was with Richard, no matter who was around or where we were. He liked to watch; I didn’t understand why Nathaniel was stopping me.

“There’s a bathroom right over there” he says pointing to a small white door across the hall sounded confused and slightly scared.

I look at him startled, embarrassed and feeling stupid but I head across the hall to the bathroom anyway. I try to convince myself that Nathaniel is not Richard and that here things will be different, that this time he genuinely wants to help me and not just use and hurt me but I can’t seem to get that little nagging voice in the back of my head to shut up and let me be at least decently content, not even for the moment. No matter how nice Nathaniel seems, no matter how much I want to be myself with him, I have to leave my guard up, there’s no way I’m going through something like what Richard put me through again.

Walking slowly into the bathroom the white tile of the floor shined up at me against the dingy white of my old overused socks. The sink was lined in salt and pepper marble with a golden spout. The toilet was shiny and clean covered with a black seat cover that matched the black and red shower curtain that hung like something in the magazines. I looked up at myself in the mirror and cringed in disgust.

My dark brown hair was overgrown, wet and flopping in my eyes, dirt and grime covering my face. My lips were chapped and lacking the pink color they’d been since the day I was born. My normally shining blue eyes were dull and slightly lifeless and I could smell myself by now, only imagining how bad I must have looked and seemed to Nathaniel. I shake my head and turn on the water splashing myself in the face. I grab the pretty blue bar of soap and move it between my hands before scrubbing my face with my hands.

I rinsed my hands off and splashed more water in my face to clear the suds off. Lifting my head I look back into the mirror and nod at my reflection as now it’s slightly less disgusting to look at. I slap my cheeks a bit to add some color to my pale cheeks and quickly change into the clothes Nathaniel gave me. The oversized T-shirt nearly drowns my small body and I have to pull the drawstring on the shorts tight so they won’t fall off but I don’t complain. Not only out of fear but also because I know that anything is better than the clothes I had on before

I fold my clothes and gather them together before taking a deep breath and opening the door. Nathaniel is standing right outside the door waiting for me and I immediately glue my eyes to the floor speaking quietly,

“I used some of your soap. I hope you don’t mind,” I pray to every god out there in that small moment in time that he doesn’t mind me using his things as I wait for his reply. I know that soap seems small and insignificant but at Richards I had to ask to use anything, from soap to water, everything was to be asked and begged for or I couldn’t use it and though I didn’t think Nathaniel would mind, I didn’t want to possibly anger him in any way.

Nathaniel looks a little confused but nods, “It’s no problem. Are you hungry?” he asks and I think back on the last time I’d actually eaten.

This morning, I’d gone back to the McDonalds and got a small breakfast and around noon, I’d had a candy bar from the grocery store. The small amount of food I’d eaten over the last year or so had made me need less to live on so I wasn’t too hungry now and I didn’t want to eat anything from this man that I didn’t have to. He seemed nice, but I’d been fooled in the past and I knew that accepting help, and food from everyone, just wasn’t safe so I shook my head,

“No thank you” I say quietly and Nathaniel's face scrunches up in confusion before he nods anyway,

“Well, give me your dirty clothes, I’ll get them washed for you and show you to the room you’ll be sleeping in” he tells me and I nod, eyes still on the ground as I follow his lead down the hallway, passing over the foyer balcony to a small cream colored door on the left side of the hall.

“The bathroom on this hall is right there, my room is all the way down there and if you get hungry and want something to eat all you have to do is come back out this way and head down those stairs there, go straight and the kitchen is the first door on your left downstairs.” He directs and I nod my head,

“Thank you again Nathaniel, and good night,” I say softly as I open the door to my room for the night and he nods,

“You’re welcome, and call me Nate,” he says and it’s my turn to nod,

“Nate” I say tasting the word on my tongue and enjoying the way it rolls. I smile a bit as I close the door softly behind me.