We Got Older But We're Still Young

Waking up was never something that came easy to me. I would always pep talk myself to stand up or even just open my eyes but it was always so hard. It probably became so difficult because I really didn’t want to get up that much. But I always got those feelings when I thought I was late for the bus and my eyes would jolt open in a panic. This morning I had one of those panics when I felt a weight resting on the side of my waist.

I sat up abruptly and strained my eyes to see what as beside me. It was really early and the sun was not quite visible creating a dim blue glow filling the room. My eyes adjusted to the room allowing me to recognise the figure beside me as Jaime. I couldn’t figure out why he was here or how I didn’t wake up when he lay down.

I stood up and noticed Delilah was still completely passed out, she looked so serene… it was nice to see her like that. Quickly, I got changed and walked over to my purse. I thought that if I was out getting coffee when he woke up there wouldn’t be an awkward tension. I knelt down on the ground to see that the poem I wrote was half hanging out of my bag. He must have read it.
… great.

It’s not that I was mad at Jaime for reading it, I was just kind of embarrassed that he saw how I felt about him. My head was slightly pounding slightly against my forehead as I panicked slightly.

I turned on my heel quickly moving towards the door to leave as Jaime stirred under the covers. My hand connected with the cool metal door handle as I pulled it closed behind me as quietly as I could.

My fingers twirled around the ends of my ginger hair as I descended the stained stairs to the lobby. There was a small café across the street that held my interest. Jaime had read my poem right? So that meant I could read his? What if his wasn’t giving the same message as mine?
Sighing, I shook the thoughts out my head as I entered the green painted wooden doors to the café.
I examined the chips in my nail polish as I waited in line to be served. The noises from the coffee machines and the constant chatter made it easy for me to hum to myself without anyone hearing.
I aborted my humming and looked up abruptly when I heard and all too familiar low deep voicec.
“Hey, little Saunders? Fancy seeing you again…” the voice practically whispered. My eyes were met with ones filled with malice. A smile was printed on his ivory skin that didn’t portray a friendly gesture. My lungs closed up as a response causing me to gasp for air slightly as my hands started to tremor. I didn’t wait for a second before my feet took me out of the café faster than I could process what had just happen. It was like my body had a reflex that knew I needed to get as far away as possible.

---

“Jaime!” I said in a panicked voice as I shook him awake.
He rolled over rubbing at his eyes roughly.
“Freddi? What’s wrong? Oh right, I can explain.” He said as he smiled slightly. I shook my head fast as I diminished any previous thoughts he had.
“Can we go now? Please, Jaime. Please” I practically begged. His expression completely changed as he stood up seriously.
“What happened Fred? Are you okay?” He asked worriedly.
“Can we please just go now?” I said as I started to hyperventilate slightly. Jaime nodded guiding me over to the bed.
“Its okay Freddi. Sit down and calm down while I grab all the bags and wake up Delilah.” He comforted.
I agreed and sat down systematically as my eyes followed Jaime and he rushed around the room, making sure he had everything.

“Take the keys and Delilah down to the car and I’ll bring the bags down okay?” he murmured calmly to me. I shook my head as terror filled my eyes.
“It’ll be alright, I’ll be right behind you Fred.” He said convincingly enough for me to agree.

Delilah took my hand silently as she yawned the whole way down to the lobby. My eyes scanned the surroundings while I got Delilah in the car. I sighed in relief as there was no sign of anyone besides me and Ly-Ly.
I closed her door and walked over to mine. I placed my hand on the handle, opening my door slightly. Before I had time to blink it had been slammed closed. I could feel another hand over mind, their thumb caressing mine.
“Not running from me are you?” His low voice purred. I shook my head refusing to look at his face. Not that I didn’t know what it looked like. I still saw that face in my nightmares… not so much anymore, but for years it was all I could see.
I had repressed it for a good 2 years … all up until now. I could now recall everything about him; his dark eyes filled with bad thoughts hidden behind the glasses that rested low on his nose, his receding hairline showing the worry lines on his forehead and that moustache that covered his top lip… I could even remember the feeling of it against my skin as he--

“Freddi?!” A sweeter voice took over my body taking me out of my memories, back to the present. Jaime walked up to me, placing his hand around my waist pulling me towards him as he stared at the man. He looked between the two of us as I stood there emotionless, soundless.
I wanted to yell and scream for him to leave us alone but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to say a word.
“Do you know this guy?” Jaime asked steadily, his grip tightening.
I stood there making no sign to answer Jaime.
I heard a laugh, low and deep… all too familiar.
“Seems like someone is in quite a mood.” He ‘joked’

I kept my gaze on Jaime. I examined his face keeping my attention to him and only him.
“I’m sorry, but you should probably leave.” He said sternly as he squeezed my side reassuringly.
“I’m sure Freddi doesn’t mind… we’re old friends. I was very close with her parents, we used to be neighbours even.” He spoke, his voice containing wickedness.

Jaime was quite unsure what to do, it probably didn’t help that I refused to speak a word.
I lifted my hidden hand under the back of Jaime’s shirt placing my hand on his skin allowing him to feel the shaking in my hand. He turned he eyes to meet mine giving me a soft smiling letting me know he could feel it.

“Well we cant stay and talk. We’ve got places to be.” He said opening the car door helping me in.

“Okay, well. I’ll be seeing you and your sister real soon okay? It’ll be… Just like old times…” He specified before he turned around to leave.

A chill went down my spine as I froze in my seat. He couldn’t come back…

…This was meant to be over.

---

I could hear crying. Why was she crying? She always told me that only babies cried. She wasn’t a baby and neither was I. That’s why we didn’t cry… but then why was she crying now?
I know I wasn’t supposed to get out of bed, but she was breaking a rule… she was crying.
Her door was opened, but only a crack. I couldn’t see her, but I could still hear her and someone else. A man? Was daddy back? STOP IT! STOP CRYING! She cried even harder. I wanted to tell him not to yell but I knew I’d get in trouble too. I didn’t like when he punished us. It wasn’t like how they used to. He didn’t different. Once I broke his whiskey glass. But he didn’t yell. He told me off later when it was dark, he came into my room and-- She got into trouble more though. I whispered her name to let her know I was there. But he heard. RUN QUICKLY. She shouldn’t have yelled. I heard a loud slap. Then a face in the crack of the door showed itself to me. His dark eyes. But he smiled. He wasn’t happy. Smiles are meant to mean happy. You cant smile when you do that. That…

“Freddi? Are you okay?” a sweet voice asked. I opened my eyes to the sun light shining directly at me.
“I’m fine sweetie. Did you sleep okay last night?” I asked as I slowed down the shaking in my hands.
“Yeah, it was good.” Delilah spoke. “Why were you crying in your sleep?”
I lifted my hands to my face and realised the cheeks were wet. I quickly wiped them dry.
I glanced around noticing a gas station in the middle of nowhere.
“Where’s your brother?”
“He went to buy us some drinks and fill up the car.” She said as if she was reciting his exact words. I looked to the door and saw him walk back towards the car.

“I didn’t wake her up on purpose, I swear.” Delilah announced to Jaime as he got into the car.
“It’s okay Ly-Ly.” Jaime laughed handing her a drink.
He turned to me, his innocent eyes reaching mine handing me my drink. He smiled and raised his eyebrows as if to say both ‘are you okay?’ and ‘its going to be okay’

I smiled softly in response nodding my head slightly.

“So… where to now?” I asked as a grin grew onto Jaime’s face.

“…Just you wait.”