We Got Older But We're Still Young
I swore it was the last time
“Don’t get ahead of yourself buddy.” I spoke as Jaime grinned widely towards me. “One poem isn’t going to change the fact that you annoy me.”
A deep chuckle fell from his lips.
“Sure Fred, keep telling yourself that.” I shook my head at his remark as his grin continued to grow.
“…but.” He added “seeing as I got to read yours, I guess that means you can read mine.”
I raised an eyebrow growing intrigued.
“Can I read it now?” I asked a little too eagerly. Jaime shook his head as he stood up from the booth.
Delilah and I stood up and followed closely behind him. Jaime turned around to face me as amusement lit up his face. “Unfortunately for you, I didn’t bring it on this trip.”
Oh.
---
While Jaime concentrated on finding his way to our hotel and Delilah hummed quietly to the radio, I couldn’t help but allow myself to miss my parents. I always refused to let myself think about them but now seemed as good a time as any just to wonder how different it all would have turned out if they never died. Leda and I would never have gone through any of that emotionally destructive stuff with Phil. Maybe Leda would have grown up to be top of her class only rebelling by sneaking out past her curfew instead of her life revolving around drugs and sex. Maybe I would have had a normal life, with normal family dinners, inviting my friends over to a normal house filled with the smell of normal home cooking and then maybe I would have normal children who would have normal grandparents that love them just like they loved me.
It was weird thinking about it, if it wasn’t for photos I would have completely forgotten what they look like. Even with the slight memory of their facial features I couldn’t for the life of me remember the way their voices sounded or the what it looked like when my Dad would smirk slightly when he was reading his books or the comforting sound of my Mother humming to herself while she did the dishes. All of those memories just felt so far away that I could hardly tell if they were real or just a dream.
Just as fast as the memories came they were pushed right back into the deepest part of my mind when Jaime’s voice spoke up.
“We’re here Freddi.”
---
Jaime had decided to post-pone the plans he had made for today as we awaited my sisters arrival. Delilah didn’t mind especially when Jaime bought her a new pack of playing cards that she currently was playing with in the centre on the hotel room floor.
I lifted my head a questioning thought filled my mind.
“Jaime?” my voice called as he hmmed in response. “It just occurred to me that you work a crappy job.”
He laughed while nodding his head from his spot beside Delilah.
“It took you this long to realise?” he joked. I shook my head smirking slightly.
“No, but how the hell are you affording all of this?” I questioned. Jaime’s grin grew mischievously which only meant trouble.
“Let’s just say a certain two people are going to be quite frustrated when they realise my college fund is empty.” Jaime said winking.
Of course he took it.
I picked up my phone after hearing it vibrate from the table beside me. Probably Leda.
From Sara:
What the hell Freddi! I went to your house yesterday thinking you were dead or something only to be told by your sister that you fucked off with some guy and didn’t even tell me!
I sighed as I typed out a reply.
To Sara:
I’m really sorry, it’s just something I had to do…
It took only minutes for her to reply.
From Sara:
Whatever Freddi, just don’t get pregnant…
…What.
“What is it Fred? Is it your sister?” Jamie asked concerned as I lay back on one of the beds.
“No.” I spoke frustrated. “It’s Sara.” I knew it was evident from my tone that I was frustrated but I didn’t really feel like hiding my emotions at the moment. Softly, I passed my phone to Jaime so that he could read the messages. He snorted after a few seconds.
“Is she really your friend?”
I hmmed in response, closing my eyes.
“Well that’s kind of a harsh thing to say to your friend.” He mumbled sitting beside me.
“Yeah I guess.” I agreed sitting up to meet his eyes.
Jaime leaned close to my face whispering a ‘fuck her’ low enough for Delilah not to hear as his hot breath hit my neck. Jaime had this thing about his grin, he could convince the Queen to turn in her crown just by showing her his deathly smirk.
but he was right, as always… Fuck her, Fuck Sara.
Just as I stood up from my position there was a knock at the door.
“Who could that be?” Jaime asked sarcastically as I looked over to the door with a wide smile on my face.
I skipped over to the door as pulled it open swiftly to reveal Leda standing with a sad smile on her face.
“Hey Fred.”
Something was wrong.
A deep chuckle fell from his lips.
“Sure Fred, keep telling yourself that.” I shook my head at his remark as his grin continued to grow.
“…but.” He added “seeing as I got to read yours, I guess that means you can read mine.”
I raised an eyebrow growing intrigued.
“Can I read it now?” I asked a little too eagerly. Jaime shook his head as he stood up from the booth.
Delilah and I stood up and followed closely behind him. Jaime turned around to face me as amusement lit up his face. “Unfortunately for you, I didn’t bring it on this trip.”
Oh.
---
While Jaime concentrated on finding his way to our hotel and Delilah hummed quietly to the radio, I couldn’t help but allow myself to miss my parents. I always refused to let myself think about them but now seemed as good a time as any just to wonder how different it all would have turned out if they never died. Leda and I would never have gone through any of that emotionally destructive stuff with Phil. Maybe Leda would have grown up to be top of her class only rebelling by sneaking out past her curfew instead of her life revolving around drugs and sex. Maybe I would have had a normal life, with normal family dinners, inviting my friends over to a normal house filled with the smell of normal home cooking and then maybe I would have normal children who would have normal grandparents that love them just like they loved me.
It was weird thinking about it, if it wasn’t for photos I would have completely forgotten what they look like. Even with the slight memory of their facial features I couldn’t for the life of me remember the way their voices sounded or the what it looked like when my Dad would smirk slightly when he was reading his books or the comforting sound of my Mother humming to herself while she did the dishes. All of those memories just felt so far away that I could hardly tell if they were real or just a dream.
Just as fast as the memories came they were pushed right back into the deepest part of my mind when Jaime’s voice spoke up.
“We’re here Freddi.”
---
Jaime had decided to post-pone the plans he had made for today as we awaited my sisters arrival. Delilah didn’t mind especially when Jaime bought her a new pack of playing cards that she currently was playing with in the centre on the hotel room floor.
I lifted my head a questioning thought filled my mind.
“Jaime?” my voice called as he hmmed in response. “It just occurred to me that you work a crappy job.”
He laughed while nodding his head from his spot beside Delilah.
“It took you this long to realise?” he joked. I shook my head smirking slightly.
“No, but how the hell are you affording all of this?” I questioned. Jaime’s grin grew mischievously which only meant trouble.
“Let’s just say a certain two people are going to be quite frustrated when they realise my college fund is empty.” Jaime said winking.
Of course he took it.
I picked up my phone after hearing it vibrate from the table beside me. Probably Leda.
From Sara:
What the hell Freddi! I went to your house yesterday thinking you were dead or something only to be told by your sister that you fucked off with some guy and didn’t even tell me!
I sighed as I typed out a reply.
To Sara:
I’m really sorry, it’s just something I had to do…
It took only minutes for her to reply.
From Sara:
Whatever Freddi, just don’t get pregnant…
…What.
“What is it Fred? Is it your sister?” Jamie asked concerned as I lay back on one of the beds.
“No.” I spoke frustrated. “It’s Sara.” I knew it was evident from my tone that I was frustrated but I didn’t really feel like hiding my emotions at the moment. Softly, I passed my phone to Jaime so that he could read the messages. He snorted after a few seconds.
“Is she really your friend?”
I hmmed in response, closing my eyes.
“Well that’s kind of a harsh thing to say to your friend.” He mumbled sitting beside me.
“Yeah I guess.” I agreed sitting up to meet his eyes.
Jaime leaned close to my face whispering a ‘fuck her’ low enough for Delilah not to hear as his hot breath hit my neck. Jaime had this thing about his grin, he could convince the Queen to turn in her crown just by showing her his deathly smirk.
but he was right, as always… Fuck her, Fuck Sara.
Just as I stood up from my position there was a knock at the door.
“Who could that be?” Jaime asked sarcastically as I looked over to the door with a wide smile on my face.
I skipped over to the door as pulled it open swiftly to reveal Leda standing with a sad smile on her face.
“Hey Fred.”
Something was wrong.
♠ ♠ ♠
Holy crap. So I know I said I would update more often but that kind of went out the window. I wish I could blame it on graduation, uni applications or christmas and what not but in honestly I had no idea what to write and everytime i wrote it sounded wrong and ugh I almost deleted this story like 5 times and Im still really on the fence as to whether I'll be able to finish it. I'll try though, promise.but yeah so hopefully you guy will see the end of this story but we'll see how things go.
I'm in a massive rush at the moment but I'll put my shoutouts in my next update!
Love you all so much!!