Heaven Nor Hell

It was now Saturday morning, and Brian and I were in one of the local grocery stores, stocking up on food for tonight’s barbeque. Brian had insisted that since I was officially moved in, we needed to celebrate.

We had just finished my office the night before. After the splatter paint had dried, I had used the stencils to paint the lyrics “I’ll end this day, I’ll splatter color on this grey” on one of the walls. I was in love with the room, and was glad Brian had convinced me to change it up.

I was still unnerved being out in public, knowing that Kyle could be anywhere. I still wasn’t sure how he had managed to find me, or if he was still in California at all. I was constantly on edge, unwilling to let my guard down. Just when everything had fallen into place, and I was truly happy, Kyle came back to destroy it all.

I was broken out of my thoughts as monster-riddled arms snaked around my waist, pulling me back into a hard chest.

“Why are you in such a hurry Gorgeous? We’ve got plenty of time to shop,” he whispered in my ear.

“I still have some cleaning to do back at the house, and we have to set up outside, and we have to prepare all the food…” I rambled, reaching up to the top shelf to grab a jar of Brian’s favorite seasoning, for the steaks he planned on grilling.

“You cleaned the house spotless yesterday, we just have to set up a few tables and chairs outside and set up the coolers, and everyone is bringing a dish with them to share tonight, so we don’t have that much food to prepare. Just relax,” he cooed, keeping one arm wrapped around my waist as we continued through the aisles.

“Are a lot of people coming tonight?” I asked, easing into his side.

“No, I did my best to keep it fairly small. There will be about thirty or so,” he responded.

“Are…are your parents coming?”

“My dad, Suzy, Brent and McKenna are all coming, and my mom was going to try to stop by, though she is covering for someone at work, and isn’t sure what time she’ll get off.” I bit my lip as we continued through the store. I hadn’t met Brian’s family because his father had been on tour for the majority of our relationship, and Brian had only seen him a few times, due to Brian’s own busy schedule. To say I was nervous to meet his family was an understatement. What if they didn’t like me? What if they preferred Michelle over me?

“Hey,” Brian exclaimed, putting his hands on my shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about. They’re all excited to meet you. If I’m happy, they’re happy.”

“Are you happy Bri?” I questioned, staring into his smoldering, mocha eyes.

“Ecstatic. I have you by my side, what more could I possibly need?” he grinned, pulling me into his chest. “Love you,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers up my spine.

“Love you too. Now let’s finish up,” I replied, slipping out of Brian’s grip, and clasping his hand with my own.



It was now nearing five o’clock, and I was up in our bedroom getting ready for the barbeque. I put on a white shirt with a skeleton printed on the front, and a pair of jean shorts. I threw an aqua blue blazer over the top of my shirt, and slipped on a pair of boots. I added a few accessories, before deeming myself ready for company.

As the clock inched closer to five, I found myself become more and more nervous. Though Brian had assured me that everything would go off without a hitch, I couldn’t help but worry.

When I met Kyle’s parents, the day had been less than successful. His parents hadn’t approved of me, and made it exceedingly obvious. His dad had spent the majority of dinner describing all the pros of Kyle’s last girlfriend, and how it was such a shame they had separated. His mom on the other hand, blatantly ignored me, sending the occasional glare my way. I was afraid that Brian’s parents might do the same thing.

I saw pulled out of my thoughts as I heard the front door open, and Brian greet whoever was at the door. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself, before walking down the stairs.

I smiled as I saw Zacky and Gena at the door, and was quickly pulled into hugs from each.

“You look so cute!” Gena exclaimed, holding me by my shoulders. “We have a couple of minutes. You should let me do your hair quick,” she grinned, pulling me up the stairs, and pushing me to sit at the vanity Brian had bought for me.

“Are you excited for today?” Gena asked, pulling my hair back into an intricate braid.

“I’m kind of nervous. I’ve never met Brian’s parents before…” I bit my lip, wincing as she pulled my hair a little too hard.

“Oh hun, don’t be nervous. Papa Gates and Suzy are two of the easiest going parents I’ve ever met. They’ll love you, I promise. And so will the other parents coming today.”

I chose to keep my concerns to myself, sitting in a comfortable silence as Gena finished my hair. Once she was done, we made our way back downstairs, to find that the rest of the guys had shown up with their girls, along with some of the roadies.

I gulped as I noticed two people standing next to Brian near the grill. I could tell one was Brian’s father due to facial similarities between the two, and I guessed the other had to be his wife Suzy. My eyes widened as Brian turned around, his eyes searching through the small crowd of people, before they landed on me. He smiled and waved me over to him.

I slowly made my way towards the group, reaching them both quicker than I was prepared for. I curled closer to Brian’s side, biting my lip as I made eye contact with Brian’s father.

“Dad, Suzy” Brian spoke, wrapping his arm tight around my waist, comforting me with a single gesture. “This is my girlfriend, Lily. Lil, this is my dad, Brian Senior, and his wife, Suzy.”

“So this is the girl you’ve talked my ear off about. Brian’s description of you didn’t do justice,” Brian’s father observed, holding his arms out for a hug.

“Thank you sir,” I responded, lightly returning the hug.

“Please, call me Papa Gates. Sir makes me sound like my father.” As soon as I was released, I was pulled into another hug from Suzy.

“Wow Brian…she’s stunning” Suzy spoke softly, holding me arms-length away. “We’ve heard so much about you dear!”

“None of it is true, I promise,” I giggled, feeling more comfortable around Brian’s parents. From just their introductions, I could tell that they were both incredibly accepting.

“We’ve heard nothing but good things about you dear,” Suzy smiled.

“How did you manage to snag this one Bri? She’s clearly way too good for you.” Brian glared at his father, as the rest of us laughed.

After a few more minutes, Suzy led me over to an empty table, while Brian went and sat with his band mates.

Suzy and I talked briefly about my past, as I spared her from the harsher details. She then went into detail about Brian’s last relationship with Michelle.

“He lost himself completely when Michelle left. He would sit in his house and drink his liquor cabinet dry, only going out long enough to stock up. The boys would come every day to check up on him, make him eat, shower, try to talk some sense into him. I knew it was hard on them, seeing one of their best friend’s in such a state.

“But since you’ve come into his life, I can see the old Brian coming back. The one even before Michelle came in and took over his life. You bring out the best in him. And we’re all so grateful for that,” Suzy finished, a soft smile on her face. I was amazed by the sincerity in her tone. Truly, I hadn’t done that much for Brian, had I?

“Well he has helped me through a dark time in my life as well. I owe him so much already…” My words drifted off as I thought about all the good Brian had done for me since we had met. He went to such great lengths to make me happy, and bring me peace of mind.

“Just give him your faithfulness and your love. That’s all he’ll ever want in return.” I was about to respond, when Brian called out that the food was done, and ready to eat. Suzy gave my arm a gentle squeeze, before she made her way back to her husband’s side.

I remained seated, waiting for most of our guests to serve themselves before I got a plate for myself. I smiled as a pair of arms wrapped lightly around my shoulders.

“Hola mi amor,” (Hello my love) Brian whispered, placing a kiss on my temple.

“I didn’t know you spoke Spanish,” I replied, turning in my chair to face him.

“Sí, mi querida. Pero sólo para las mujeres hermosas.” (Yes, my dear. But only for beautiful women)

“I think I need to start studying up on my Spanish, so I can understand you,” I responded, running a hand through his spikey hair.

“Come on gorgeous, let’s get some food. I’m starved,” he retorted, hauling me out my chair.



“Come on Brian, play another song!” Gena cheered, as we sat around a bonfire.

When it became dark, all of the parents left for home, leaving the boys, their girlfriends, and a few other friends of the band. Matt had suggested we have a bonfire on the beach, behind our house, so that’s where we were all sat. Brian had brought out his acoustic guitar to play, and keep us all entertained.

“I’ll play another song, as long as Lily helps me.” I looked at Brian with wide eyes, and quickly shook my head.

“Yes Lily. I have your guitar and everything,” he spoke, handing his guitar to Zack, before reaching behind him to pull out my cherry red acoustic from its case, and placing it in my lap.

“We’ll do something easy. Do you remember the song we’ve been working on for the last few weeks?” he asked, reaching a hand up to brush a few stray hairs behind my ears. I nodded my head, feeling somewhat confident in my ability to play that song.

“Then let’s do that one. We’ll take it slow.” Brian grabbed his guitar, and started into the song. I sat for a few moments, listening to Brian strum the introduction, before I joined in.

Tragic vision slowly stole my life
Tore away everything, cheating me out of my time.
I'm the one who loves you no matter wrong or right,
And every day I hold you,
I hold you with my inner child.

I need serenity, in a place where I can hide.
I need serenity, nothing changes, days go by.

We soon finished out the song, and I blushed as everyone clapped. I stood up and put my guitar away, as Brian passed his to Zack, who wanted to play next.

As everyone started to head home, Brian and I sat on the patio, curled up on one of the cushioned benches set up against the house. I rested my head on Brian’s chest, letting my eyes slip shut as Brian began to softly hum.

The last thing I remembered was Brian gently carrying me up to our bedroom, slipping us both under the covers, before whispering quietly,

“Buenas noches mi amor…” (Good night my love)