Heaven Nor Hell

Shortly after my talk with Gerard and Mikey, they left, leaving Brian and I alone in his house. Brian ran outside to put out the fire he had built, as well as the garbage can fires his friend Jimmy had started when Brian wasn’t paying attention.

I decided to make myself useful, and walked into the kitchen. I cleared off the few remaining beer bottles off the counter, before I began to load Brian’s dishwasher. I was barely halfway done when two hands grabbed my waist, and began pulling me backwards.

“Step away from the dishwasher Lily.” I laughed as I gripped the counter, fighting against his hold.

“Brian let go!” My plea turned into laughter as Brian’s tight grip loosened, and he began tickling me. As soon as my grip on the counter dropped, Brian’s arms wrapped around my waist, and he carried me to the couch. I landed with an “oomph” before turning to him.

“I was just trying to help,” I pouted, hoping it would break him down. But as luck would have it, he just laughed.

“I know, and I appreciate it, but you’re a guest. It’s your job to relax, not clean up after my messy friends. Besides, it’s getting late. We should probably be getting you home,” Brian added as I let out a yawn. I simply shook my head, before taking his outstretched hand, and let him help me up off the couch.

As I was slipping on my shoes, Brian raced up the stairs, and descended carrying a dark purple hoodie. He helped me slip it on, before taking my hand and leading us out the door.

As we drove back to my house, I flipped the hood of Brian’s sweatshirt over my head and rested my forehead on the window, relishing in the smell of Brian’s hoodie. Within five minutes, we had pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex, and Brian was running around the car to open my door. I smiled as I took his hand, and let him lead us into the elevator and down the hallway to my door. As we reached it, I reluctantly unzipped the hoodie and moved to take it off, but Brian stopped me.

“You don’t have to give it back to me tonight,” he assured me, but I shook my head.

“If I don’t give it back to you tonight, there’s a good chance you won’t get it back.”

“Then you can keep it. I don’t wear it often, and it looks much better on you.” I laughed, and quickly wrapped my arms around his waist to prevent him from seeing my blush. Judging by the light rumble that resonated through his chest, my efforts were pointless.

I relished in the feeling of Brian’s arms wrapped securely around my frame. I had only known him for a few short weeks, yet when I was wrapped in his embrace, I felt safer than I had in my entire life. The more time I spent with Brian, the more he chipped away at the barrier I had put in place while I was with Kyle.

“Thank you so much for tonight Brian. You have no idea how much it meant to me to be able to see them.” I spoke, before relaxing against him, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

“You don’t have to thank me. I wanted you to be as comfortable as possible.”

“You’re too good to me,” I laughed, tightening my hold around his waist.

“Nothing is too good for you Lily Poulsen. You deserve nothing but the best.” I blushed as he leaned down and pressed a kiss into my hair. “It’s late, you should get to bed.” I nodded my head, suddenly feeling exhausted. I held onto Brian for a few more seconds before releasing him and unlocking the door of my apartment. I surprised us both by leaning up to place a kiss on his cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh as his soft smile turned into a cheeky grin.

“Good night Brian,” I spoke, before I walked into my apartment and closed the door. I was relieved to find that Elizabeth was already asleep. I tiptoed to my room, before removing my clothes and slipping into my only pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I slipped Brian’s hoodie back over my shoulders and curled up in my bed, immediately falling into a deep sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling more rested than I had in weeks. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a simple white t-shirt, before venturing into the kitchen for breakfast. As I was washing the few dishes that were left in the sink, there was a soft knock on the door.

I dried my hands as I walked over and opened the door, revealing a cheery looking Brian.

“Good morning Bri,” I smiled before I stepped back to let him in the house.

“Morning. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” he questioned, and I shook my head.

“I was just finishing up dishes. What brings you by?”

“I was finishing cleaning last night, and I found your purse, so I wanted to return it as quickly as possible. But I was wondering if you wanted to come with me on a walk this morning?” I agreed, and ran into my bedroom to grab a lime green hoodie out of my closet, before slipping on a pair of converse.

I decided to take coffee with me, so I grabbed one of our travel mugs out of the cupboard before turning to Brian.

“Do you want any coffee Bri?” He shook his head yes, looking lost in his thoughts. I became worried, but didn’t push it, assuming I would find out during out walk.

I poured coffee into two travel mugs, before handing the larger of the two to him. He smiled in thanks, before we walked towards the door. I locked up the apartment and led the way to the elevators. We were silent as we walked, Brian looking completely lost in thought, before we arrived at a small park. Brian led us along the path until we reached a small grove of trees. Brian immediately took a seat on one of the fallen logs, his gaze fixed on the dirt he was pushing around with his shoe. I sighed before I took a seat next to him, anxious to find out what was eating him.

“What’s wrong Brian?” I questioned, hoping to get him to talk. He let out a deep sigh, before turning to face me.

“Do you remember the first night we met, and I asked you if you knew the band Avenged Sevenfold?” I nodded my head, vaguely remembering him mentioning them.

“The reason I asked you that night was because…I’m sort of the guitarist…” My eyes widened at his words. It made sense now that I thought about. He was always around, never actually attending any sort of work. But I had never put much thought into it. But it was hard to believe that I was sitting next to one of the most famous men in Huntington Beach, and I had no idea. My mind was consumed by my thoughts as Brian continued to ramble.

“I know I should have told you right away, but it was refreshing talking with someone who had no idea who I was. I’m always “Synyster Gates” to everyone I meet; they don’t care about Brian Haner. I never lied about anything; everything I’ve told you about me is the truth. That’s the real me. And I understand if you’re mad, I should have never kept this-“. I finally cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth and smiling.

“Brian I understand. You were protecting yourself. But I hope you know that just because you told me, doesn’t mean anything is going to change between us. You’re not Synyster Gates to me. You’ll always be Brian Haner: the man who in a few short weeks has turned my life from a miserable dump into something joyful. No amount of stardom will change that.” I finished with a smile, before Brian pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I hugged him back just a tight, and relaxed in his arms. We were quiet for a few minutes before I realized something.

“You didn’t actually win backstage passes to that Volbeat concert, did you?” I asked and his gaze lowered to the dirt, a guilty look on his face.

“No I didn’t…” We broke into laughter at his confession, before we relaxed into a quiet silence. As the minutes passed, I thought more about what Gerard had said the night before. He and Mikey trusted Brian not to hurt me, which was surprising in itself. The more I thought, the worse I felt for leaving Brian in the dark about Kyle. He had been honest with me; it was time for me to be honest with him.

“Brian…?”

“Yes Lily?”

“I…”