Blame The Stars

I could hear whispering around me when I woke up. I had no clue where I was or what I was doing there. All I knew was that I had a killer headache and my feet hurt like when they do when I wear heels all night.
Suddenly, I remembered everything that happened the night before. The dancing, the drinking, the kissing. Oh god, the kissing. That was definitely going to make for an awkward conversation.
I opened my eyes and was momentarily blinded with light before I adjusted and saw a man with his back to me, pacing up and down the narrow hallway of a tour bus.
‘Yeah dude, she’s with me. She’s fine, don’t worry! Yeah I’ll make sure she gets there. At 3? Okay dude, see ya then. Yeah, no worries. All right, bye.’
I groaned in pain and he turned around with concerned eyes.
‘Oh good, you’re up!’ he said while sitting on the edge of the couch I was laying on.
‘Don’t talk so damn loud, Kellin. I’ve gotta killer headache.’ I said massaging my temples. Kellin chuckled quietly before standing up and coming back to me with a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.
‘You’re a God’ I said while kissing his cheek. I downed the pills and sat back down with my legs to my chest and my head rested against my knees.
‘You’re not gonna throw up, are you?’ he asked warily.
‘I never throw up when I drink. Jack Barakat raised me, I’m the master of partying already’ I said with a smirk.
‘I wouldn’t doubt it. You were downing drinks like I’ve never seen before. I’m surprised you didn’t have to go to the hospital to get you’re stomach pumped.’
I laid back down and moved as far back on the couch as possible.
‘Come cuddle’ I pouted and batted my lashes. Kellin just smiled and shook his head before laying down beside me. I rested my head on his chest and he stroked my hair while I waited for my headache to subside.
‘What time do I have to go to soundcheck?’ I asked quietly.
‘Three. It’s one now, wanna go get something to eat?’ I flinched at the thought of food and shook my head.
‘I can’t eat, but I do need coffee. My supply is back at the All Time Low bus. Will you walk me there?’ He agreed and we made our way out of the bus and across the parking lot. I didn’t see anyone from the party walking around so they must all be asleep still or at soundcheck. We finally made it to the bus and I turned around to face Kellin with hands behind my back and swayed lightly from left to right.
‘I had a great time tonight. Thanks for walking me home’ I joked and kissed his cheek and hugged him before walking onto the quiet bus.
I changed out of my the random, oversized tee shirt I was wearing, which I suspected to be Kellin’s and into a Batman tank top and shorts. I pulled my hair into a loose bun and applied light makeup. I slipped on my boots and ran to the miniature fridge, pulled out an iced coffee from Starbucks and made my way out of the bus into the scorching heat of midday.
I was making my way towards Main Stage to see who was performing when I heard my voice being called from the opposite direction. I turned on my heel to see John O’Callaghan running towards me with an acoustic in his right hand and a beer in his left.
‘Hey Johnny!’ I said excitedly when he reached me.
‘Hey Hun! Come chill with us for a bit.’ He replied, taking my hand and pulling me towards a group of 10 or so people. I recognized the rest of The Maine but everyone else were strangers to me. I said quiet hellos to everyone and sat down between John and Pat in a large circle.
We talked for a good hour before John pulled his guitar out from behind him where he placed it before and started strumming a simple melody. He started singing and Kennedy joined in a couple seconds later. I simply smiled and swayed back and forth listening to John’s amazing voice and before I knew it, the song was over. We all clapped for them before the guitar was placed in my lap.
‘What do you expect me to do with this? I’m not a rockstar!’ I said while trying to give it back to John.
‘I remember a couple years ago when you would come to our bus and play Jared’s acoustic and we would sing together. I wanna see where you’re voice has gotten’ he replied with a shrug. I was definitely nervous to sing again. The last time I sang for anybody was before I dated Kyle, who royally fucked my life up.
‘John, I really can’t-’
‘No, Carson, you’re going to play and fucking enjoy it. I know you still got it in you, you’re just scared.’ I let out a heavy sigh and looked down on the acoustic set in my lap. I picked it up and placed it correctly, my fingers going to the needed chords. This felt right. I always loved singing and would always be humming or singing before Kyle. He seemed to ruin everything I used to be.
‘Well, there is one song I wrote during the Canadian Tour....but it’s not ready’ I said trying to push the guitar back into his hands.
‘Every artist is never satisfied. I know you can do this, Carr!’
I let out another sigh before playing the beginning chords. The song was called Here We Go Again and it was written about Spencer and my feelings about him. I closed my eyes and played the chords, feeling the melody surround me before starting to sing.
I throw all of your stuff away
Then I clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages

I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you
But it's just another pretty lie
'Cause I break down
Every time you come around
Oh oh!

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should've known better than trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again

Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together, you'd think that by now I'd know
'Cause here we go go go again

You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Every time that you look at me

You only hear half of what I say
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye
But it's no use
Can't be with or without you!
Oh oh

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should've known better than trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again

Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together, you'd think that by now I'd know
'Cause here we go go go again, 'gain

And again
(And again)
And again
(And again)
And again!

I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart
Oh oh, oh oh

So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should've known better than trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again

Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together, you'd think that by now I'd know
'Cause here we go go

Here we go again
Here we go again!
Should've known better than trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again

I dragged the last note out and looked up from the guitar to see everyone with shocked expressions, except John. He just had a huge smile plastered on his face. I was engulfed in a bear hug by all the boys from The Maine and I couldn’t help but feel refreshed and happier. Performing always had that effect on me. I guess it was because my whole life I was surrounded by performers, whether it was dancers, musicians, actors. You name it, and I’ve met someone who mastered it.
‘You sang that perfectly! You’re such a powerhouse, hunny!’ Some blonde chick sitting across from me said. I smiled and blushed before beginning to absentmindedly play a soft guitar melody, letting the music surround me and take me to another world.