Beautiful

I looked in the mirror. Hating myself for what I just did. I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth. I've just puked up my dinner... Well, let me take you back and tell you how I've gotten here.

Remember a few months ago when I first told Niall I liked him? Remember how those people were starring at me as I ate like a was some barbaric animal? I started to think. I eat too much, I eat too fast, and I'm fat. You may think it's stupid to start just because of a couple of people. But, it happened more often than you would think. I would eat the way I ate, people would look at me in disgust, then I'd lose my whole appetite. I would hate the way those people thought of me, and the way more people were going to think about me.

I've been puking up my food since then and lately I've been starving myself little by little. When I do it, I feel better about myself, but I also hate myself at the same time.

The boys are still on tour, I'm still with them, and me and Niall's relationship is stronger than ever. We have been together for 2 months now. Right now the boys are all out to eat, and since I had already eaten I decided to stay back.

I looked away from the horrid thing I seen in the mirror. My hands rested on the cold, porcelain counter top. I looked down at the sink and let my tears flow. The warm tears left black streak marks on my cheeks from my makeup.

I looked at myself in the mirror and started to clean of the black trails my tears left behind. After, I splashed cold water on my face and walked out of the hotel bathroom. I laid on the bed that Niall and I shared, and flicked the TV on.

"DAHAHAHAHHA!" Spongebobs high pitched laugh came through the speakers. Oh how I love Spongebob. That yellow cleaning utensil cracked me up. I smiled to myself as I watched him annoy the crap out of Squidward.

I heard the lock of the hotel room door click. The door opened and flooded light into the room. In came a very happy Niall, with a bag that contained a box of food.

"Hello!" He sung. He kicked his shoes off as the door closed behind him. He jumped onto the bed with me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Hey, Love." He said, kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey, Niall." I said, and pecked him on the lips. He smiled and handed me the bag. "Here, I got you some food. I felt bad..."

"Niall, you didn't have to get me anything, I'm not all that hungry." I said. I set the bag on the small table that sat besides the bed. Niall kept his arm around my shoulders, grabbed my hand with his other hand and intertwined our fingers.

"Alright... What's up?" He said in a worried tone.

"Waddaya mean?" I asked, dreading what he was going to say next.

"First, you deny dinner, and now you're not hungry! This is not like me Leanna." He looked me straight in the eye. I couldn't help but look right back into those beautiful blue orbs of his.

"Nothing's wrong... I'm just not hungry..." I trailed off.

"Leanna, tell me the truth."

"I'm fine!" I raised my voice. He looked away from my eyes hurt. My eyes filled with tears and I bit them back. "Niall... I'm sorry I raised my voice," He looked at me again.

"It's ok." He half smiled.

"It's not ok. I hate shouting at you," My eyes started to fill with tears again.

"No, don't cry." He said. "Leanna... I love you." I looked at him with shock.

"Y-you do?" I said.

"Yes, Leanna. I love you. I love you and everything about you." It's the first time he's said I love you.

"I-I love you, too." I said, and smiled through tears. They were happy tears now.

"Don't cry, babe." He said, wiping away tears with his thumb.

"They're happy tears..." I said. I then through my arms around him and buried my head in the crook of his neck. "I love you... so much..." I said.

"I love you, too." He said, tighten the hug. I sighed through my nose, and his beautiful scent filled it. It was a happy sigh, though.

"Let's get to bed, yeah?" I said, letting go.

"Awh, but I like hugging you!" He whined.

"We can cuddle!" I said.

"That's good, too." He said smiling. He quickly got changed out of his jeans and t-shirt, into his boxers and laid in bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same. I looked up at him.

"Niall?" I said.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Do you think we'd ever get married?" I asked.

"Maybe one day..." He said. I smiled.

"Yeah... maybe one day." I said. He leaned down and kissed me passionately. "I love you, Niall." I said when we pulled away.

"I love you too, Leanna." And with that, we both fell into a deep, happy sleep.

"Wake up, loverbirds!" Louis yelled, jumping up and down on the bed.

"Go away!" I groaned. Niall stirred next to me. All the boys were jumping up and down on the bed.

"No, were going out to eat breakfast!" Liam said.

Niall opened one eye, "How'd you guys even get in here," He said groggily.

"I took one of the keys from your wallet last night." Zayn said.

"You guys are fucking gobdaws!" Niall said, throwing a pillow at them.

"What's that?" Louis asked.

"An idiot." Niall said.

"Well!" Louis said, acting offended.

"Just get out and let us get ready!" I said.

"Ok." Harry said. They all got up and left. I groaned and swung my legs over the bed.

"Don't take too long!" Niall called as I went into the bathroom.

"No promises!" I said, quickly closing the door and locking it.

I showered quickly and got dressed. Then, I brushed my teeth, did my makeup, and did my hair. I looked in the mirror. Ugly... I thought.

I walked out and seen Niall sitting on the bed with an outfit folded up next to him. He looked over at me and smiled, "Looking as beautiful as ever, love!" He got up and went to the bathroom.

When he shut the door I looked down at my stomach. This shirt made it show a little and I didn't like it. I searched my bag for a tank top and hoodie. I finally settled on a black tank top and a purple Jack Wills sweatshirt. I checked the temperature for today and figured it was cold enough this morning to use as an excuse to why I changed.

After Niall was done he walked out in this:



"Looking as cute as ever, sweetie!" I said, smiling.

"Why did you change?" He asked, frowning a bit.

"Because it's cold...?" I said, hoping my excuse would work.

"Ok." He said, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the lobby. Phew!

"Hey girl!" Harry said walking over to me. When we got downstairs everyone was waiting for us.

"Hey!" I said. I giggled and we all got into the car.

We arrived at this nice diner that had the aroma of pancakes. "Mmm... Pancakes." Louis said sniffing the air.

We all got seated and everyone was looking over their menus. I looked through the various foods. Everything sounded good... No. What am I saying. Food is the enemy...! I set my menu down.

"Ready to order already?" Liam asked.

"I'm not hungry." I said. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, gasped.

"Not hungry?" Zayn asked.

"Preposterous!" Louis said.

"I'm not hungry. Why is it so hard to believe?!" I said, slouching down and crossing my arms. I was getting mad that it was so hard to believe that I could stop being fat.

"Well excuse me for questioning absurd behavior..." Louis said.

"It's not absurd to not want food." I said.

"It is for you. You eat like a pig!" Louis said. I felt a tear stream down my cheek.

"I'm going to the toilet." I said, quickly getting up.

(*Niall's Point of View*)

Leanna walked off with tears streaming down her face. I was going to get up and follow her when Liam grabbed my arm. "Let her go, lad. She'll be back in about 5 minutes." He said. I sat back down and looked at my menu again.

"Good going, Lou. You made her cry." Harry said.

"We always joke around like that! What's her problem?" Louis said.

"Maybe she's insecure." Liam said in a stern voice.

"Don't know what for..." Zayn sang/whispered. I smiled a bit, so did everyone else.

"Turning heads when she walks through the do-o-oor." I sang.

"You guys are so stupid..." Liam chuckled.

(*Leanna's Point of View*)

He's right. I'm a pig. A big, fat pig! I fixed my makeup and then went back to the table. I sat down and Niall scooched his chair closer to mine and grabbed my hand.

"Listen, Leanna. I'm sorry for saying that," Louis said. "You just made me quite flustered for a moment."

"That's ok, Lou. Pigs will be pigs," I said, smiling and then sipping at my water.