Half Dead

My dad pulled up in front of my school and stops me from getting out. He runs a hand through his hair, "Keep your head up, Violet."

I just stare at him.

"Don't let those girls get to you, they're--"

I put my hand up to stop him and grab my notebook; THEYRE JUST JEALOUS, RIGHT?

He looks at me with a sheepish smile, "That's an old one."

I shake my head, ready to head out, but he grabs my arm again, "We're meeting with Dr. Neal again today."

I shake my head again, ITS A WASTE OF TIME

"Your mom is counting on it."

I tap my notebook, adamantly shoving the thought into my dad's face. It's a waste of time, I won't do it. I'm telepathically telling him so, but I don't think he gets it.

"Have a good day, Violet."

I get out the car and wait for him to leave. As soon as he does, I see Gloria waiting at the top of the stairs. She hangs onto the railing talking to the older girls; Raven jogs up from behind me, and I'm surprise she didn't notice me.

I figure it's the hair.

She and Gloria hug and I turn away. I decide I won't go to school today. I need to be alone. I haven't been alone since lunch yesterday, and that was in a public bathroom.

I pull my cardigan off, despite the frigid morning and pull it over my head. I make a hiding place for myself and head to the park. 

It's empty and quiet. I like it.

I sit by my tree and listen to the cars pass and the birds chirp. I even heard squirrels run across the grass. I smile when I see one with an acorn.

The smile makes me feel weird inside. It's warmth. I haven't felt that in a long, long time.

But my smile drops when I hear a voice; "Hey beautiful."

I see the stupid boy's feet beneath the hiding place in my cardigan.

"I got the book, you know." he sits we're a squirrel was moments before, "I got your note... Your love letter to me." he giggles.

He giggles like a girl.

I pull the cardigan up a bit to meet his eyes. He's got a look of pure joy in his eyes, his mouth, his cheeks. He looks bright, happy, but his left cheek is a blotchy yellow and faded purple.

"Your mom told me you're mute." he adds, "She says that you don't get along with people, that's why you wrote me that polite little note "Please leave me alone, you stupid boy, I don't like you and I know what you want and you won't get it. Thank you, Violet. It's pretty funny to read out loud."

I look down and wish he'd go away.

"My name is Frank, you know."

I nod to his response.

"How's your hair?"

I pull my cardigan down for a second, only to see him wince. I pull the cardigan back over my head, pull my knees up and bury my head in them.

"I'm sorry." he says quietly. "Can I ask you something?"

I shrug. Go for it, idiot.

"Were you born mute?"

I shake my head. No, but I wish.

"What happened? You have an accident?"

I want to laugh. I wish I could laugh. I think that's what I miss.

The stupid boy grabs his bag and then pulls out one of those expensive tablets. Just like Dr. Wilbur's, but it's black; "It's a Sony, not an Apple." he laughs, "You can write with this app."

He handed me the tablet and I look down at it. I'm nervous. I don't know what to say.

"Your mom invited me over for cookies yesterday. She's picking me up today." he says with amusement in his voice.

I slowly pull my cardigan up, keeping my hair covered and then put my fingers, holding the tablet and I begin to write with my left index finger; WHY?

"She just did. She said," he cleared his throat, "Frankie, my future son-in-law, I would love to have you over for milk and cookies to discuss future wedding plans between you and my lovely and beautiful child." he says in a lady voice.

I roll my eyes; WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

He reads it and without missing a beat he answers; "I want your friendship."

I point to the WHY?, and he shrugs, "Because I don't have any friends."

I frowned and begin to type again; HOW COME?

He shakes the table to clear it, then answers, "I don't know. People don't like me; hence the reason I'm skipping school today... With you."

I look down at the empty tablet and write; DO YOU EVER WISH YOU WERE DEAD?

Frank looks at it and I can't meet his eyes. He lets it go, "Once I did, but not anymore. You do, don't you?" he asks sadly.

FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP TO THE MOMENT I FALL ASLEEP

The stupid boy reads the tablet for a long time. Then he gives it back; "Is that why you're mute?"

I nod and begin to write again; I DRANK DRAIN CLEANER AND BLEACH

I won't look at him. I'm waiting for him to reprimand me. I'm waiting for the inevitable grunt of disgust.

"Did it hurt?" he asks quietly.

I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT IM SURE IT DID

"But, I don't get it, you're really pretty." 

I shake my head. He sighs, "Well, I think you are."

IM NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU SO YOU CAN STOP THE FLATTERY

He laughs, "Hey, I'm not that much of a pervert."

I clear the tablet; YOU WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TO PRETEND TO BE MY FRIEND TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THAT

I look up and finally meet his eyes. He looks confused and sadden. It's pity.

I hate the look of pity.

"I know that me saying sorry isn't gonna work out here," he replies, his eyes are sincere, "But I am sorry people have done that to you, Violet."

I feel this sickness fill my stomach. Something I hadn't felt in years. It's going to make me cry and vomit.