What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

It’s been a week since I found out about Carissa, Stevens girlfriend. I couldn’t believe I fell into his trap. I have never felt so used in my entire life and I feel like I have betrayed Carissa even though I don’t even know her.

“Beth?” My mother knocked before entering my childhood bedroom.

“Hey, Mom” said softly knowing full well she wanted an explanation to why I was in a terrible mood and why I persisted on staying at their house for a while.

“What happened?” the worry in her voice was unmistakable. I took a deep breath to tell her the story of what happened a week before hand.

*1 week earlier*

“Beth a person called about an alligator that has been walking up and down their street.” My father let me know as soon as I came back from my lunch break.

“What’s the street?” I asked as I grabbed my gear, getting ready to leave as he rattled off Steven’s street name. “Alright I am on my way.” I told him with an excitement in my voice. I know Steven wasn’t home but I am excited to be close to where he lives, it’s like I am with him even when he is here. Also I can drop off the sweatshirt he let me borrow on our date.

Once I pulled onto the road, I noticed the group of people who were gathered on the lawn in front of Steven’s neighbor’s house. Seeing that I knew the alligator had to be close by so I pulled into Steven’s driveway.

“Somebody called about an alligator that was roaming the streets?” I asked once I reached the group.

“Yeah it was me.” A bleach blonde girl with a painted face answered. “The gator is right over there.” She pointed to the garden near Steven’s house.

“All right” I said slipping out of my flip flops and headed over to the garden. As soon as I came close the gator started to move away from me which made him walk out of the other side of the garden. I just kept following it, so it would be totally out of the garden without me having to get down and dirty. When the gator finally emerged I noticed it was about five feet long and looked to be confused as to where it was.

Finally I got close enough to the gator to start the part of tiring him out. With a few flourishing moves I got on the back of the alligator and taped his mouth shut.

“Wow you made that look really easy.” The bleach blonde girl said surprised.

“Well, it’s what I do for a living.” I tell her nonchalantly picking up the gator and carrying him over to the truck bed.

“Thank you for taking care of him.” The women said once he was safely tucked away. “You take care of snakes too don’t you?” I nodded. “Yeah, I thought you were the same company that got rid of the snake from my house last week.”

At this I was confused because the only snake we have ever picked up in this area was at Steven’s house. “Which house is yours?” I asked as I felt my heart drop.

“This one.” She pointed at Steven’s house.

“Oh yeah, Steven called it in right?” I say trying to figure out why this chick lives with him, even though I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

“Yeah, I’m Carissa his girlfriend.” She said happily before she started to ramble about her and Steven’s relationship while I couldn’t help but look past the fact that she said girlfriend.

Finally I came out of my daze when my phone started ringing for the next stop I had to make. I quickly said my polite goodbye to Carissa, before texting fucktard then I took off to continue working.

*End Flashback*

“Aw, Bethy you deserve someone much better than him.” My mother said like all mothers do. I just nodded along in agreement even though I didn’t actually believe it. “But you can’t let him get away with what he did either.

“Ma what do you expect me to do?”

“Talk to him.” She stated simply.

“If only it were that simple.” I mumbled.

“Well you don’t have to do it right away, just take some time to heal, but not too long.” She sweetly told me.

“Ok” I said snuggling back into bed giving her the cue to leave me alone for the night.

“Call if you need anything, sweetie pie.” And with that she left me alone with my thoughts and feelings.

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Two weeks and Beth hasn’t spoken a word to me. Carissa and I broke up, like I had planned to do before Beth found out about her but unfortunately Carissa is still living with me until she finds a new place to live. Even though I know she isn’t even bothering to look right now.

For the past two weeks all I have been doing is sitting on the couch debating whether or not to show up at her office since she hasn’t been home every day I stop by. Today was no different, after practice I took my normal spot on the couch when my phone buzzed.

Text from Beth

We need to talk.

Text to Beth

I am free for the rest of the day if you just want to come over when you have time.

Text from Beth

K.

Beth was going to come over today! I not so silently cheered. I am really excited about this, I have missed her. As I waited for Beth to come it felt like every minute was an hour, so to keep myself productive I decided to actually clean the house.

A few hours passed and I started to lose faith that she was actually going to show up. But once 6pm hit there was a knock on the door. I ran to it, and on the other side revealed a tired looking Beth with her khaki work shorts and a tank.

“Hey” I say sheepishly as if I forgot every other word I was going to say to her.

“Hi” She said in an unattached voice.

“Look, Beth…” I started but she cut me off.

“Steven, I really don’t care what you have to say.”

“But,” I started again.

“I don’t want to hear it right now Steven, just let me talk first.” She paused. “What you did was just messed up. I have never felt so used in my entire life and that’s saying something.” I tried to speak again, feeling worse about what I did than what I felt before, but she wouldn’t let me talk. “I have been in Carissa’s shoes before and it’s not a good place to be.” She took a deep breath. “I just wanted to tell you that, you were an asshole and I hope you learn from what you did to not only Carissa but me as well.”

“I know what I did was wrong. Asking you out before I broke up with Carissa it was just stupid but I was afraid of missing my chance with you. Carissa and I weren’t doing so hot, hell we barely even talked. Before I met you I was wondering why I was still with her. But I didn’t want to break up with her over the phone, I was just waiting for her and I to be in the same place at the same time, but our schedules just wouldn’t match up, until I got back from the road trip a couple weeks ago. Even though it was too late I still broke up with her because I want you not her.” I explained, her face went through many different emotions.

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So does that mean he actually was planning on breaking up with Carissa before I found out about the two of them? “You broke up with Carissa?”

“As soon as I got home from the road trip.” He told me simply. That changes everything. “I know I should have told you about her right away but I just didn’t know how.” I couldn’t take it anymore, I lunged forward and kissed Steven, which shocked him.

“Beth” he whispered pausing for a second before pulling me in.

“Wow this is the skank you want?” a snotty voice said breaking us apart.

“She is not a skank, Carissa.” Steven defended me.

“Yeah whatever you say, I am sure she hasn’t slept with any of the other unavailable guys she has worked for before.” She snidely said before walking up the stairs.

“She still lives here?” I said on the brink of tears, he nodded to confirm my fears. “Asshole.” I said quickly running out of the house.

“Beth wait, let me explain.” Steven said grabbing my arm and pulling me away from my truck.

“There is nothing to explain.” I said pulling my arm back and getting into the car letting the tears fall freely as I pulled out onto the road and drove off. My phone kept going off with Steven calling me. Finally on the fourth call I picked up.

“What?” I yelled before I saw lights coming right at my windshield and then everything went black.