Shelter

This tour just didn’t seem to be going well for Alex at all. A week went by and Alex’s foot had healed well. The stitches had been taken out earlier in the day. His healed foot was the only good thing at the moment though – everything else seemed to be going wrong.

“I can’t do it. I can’t go out there,” Alex said, pacing back and forth as his friends looked at him helplessly. They were supposed to go to their meet and greet right now and Alex was having an anxiety attack.

“Alex, come on. It’s just a bunch of girls. They can’t be that scary,” Zack chuckled, trying to reassure him.

Alex shook his head, “I don’t think I can do it. I’m too jittery and nervous today. I’ll probably burst out crying or shaking in front of all of them. I can’t let them see me like that.”

“Alex, you’ll be fine. Any other time that we’ve done a meet and greet you’ve been fine,” Jack assured him, putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex shoved Jack’s hand off of him. “No. I’ve never felt like this before one of them, that’s why I’ve been fine.”

“You guys need to get out there. Flyzik’s about to have a hissy fit,” Evan said, popping his head into the room.

“Lex, come on,” Rian urged, looking at him hopefully.

“Just go do the meet and greet without me. Tell them I’m really sorry but I couldn’t be there,” Alex said softly, sitting down on the couch in the room.

Jack looked at him for a moment before sighing and walking toward the door, “Come on, guys.”

Alex put his head in his hands, feeling completely helpless and ashamed of himself. This was the first time he’d turned down a meet and greet because of an anxiety attack, and he was upset with himself for doing so. Those fans were going to hate him.

By the time they went on stage later that night, his anxiety calmed down a little bit and he was feeling less anxious. It wasn’t until about halfway through the set that he was reminded of the meet and greet incident from earlier. He and Jack were talking about random shit when he heard one of the girls in the front row yelling his name loudly. She had been doing this for at least five minutes now, so he decided to acknowledge her. “You! What do you want?”

When the girl realized he was speaking to her, she yelled out, “Why weren’t you at the meet and greet, you asshole?”

Alex’s eyes widened when a few of the other girls near the barrier began to agree, shouting at him about it. “I-I...”

“Calm down! Alex had explosive diarrhea and didn’t want to share it with all of you!” Jack teased, coming to Alex’s rescue so he wouldn’t have to say anything.

“Jack!”

“What? The truth stinks!” Jack grinned, and they heard a “ba-dum-tss” from Rian back on the drums. “Moving on – this song is called Weightless!”

Alex caught Jack’s eye as they started to play the song, mouthing, “Thank you.” Jack just smiled and nodded.

--------------------

Later that night, Alex was wandering around the bus. Everyone else was asleep but Alex was unable to, even though he was extremely tired. It was nearly three in the morning and he was pretty sure he was going to go crazy if he didn’t get some sleep soon. As he was walking into the back he suddenly bumped into someone and they both gasped.

“Alex, holy shit. You scared me,” Jack whispered. “Why are you pacing around?”

“I can’t sleep,” Alex whispered back. “Why are you up?”

“I had to pee. Come with me – maybe you can fall asleep if you lie down with me,” Jack said, tugging on Alex’s arm. Alex crawled into Jack’s bunk with him and Jack pulled the blankets over both of them. Jack held his arms out hopefully and Alex smiled, cuddling up with him.

“Jack?” Alex whispered, looking up at him.

Jack’s eyes snapped open and he looked at Alex, murmuring, “Hmm?”

Alex sighed, looking down and absentmindedly running his fingers along Jack’s chest. “Thanks for helping me through my anxiety attacks and nightmares all the time. I don’t know what I’d do without you. And thanks for covering for me on stage earlier.”

“Aw, that’s what I’m here for,” Jack said, hugging him. Alex smiled and curled into him, closing his eyes.

Sometimes Jack sings to Alex when he’s trying to coax him into falling asleep, especially after nightmares or anxiety attacks. Alex thinks it’s really sweet, to be honest. Jack always complains that he’s a terrible singer, but that’s only when he’s being loud and obnoxious. When he has his arms wrapped around Alex, lips close to his ear, his soft, sleepy singing voice sounds almost angelic to Alex. Jack’s voice calms him down to begin with, and his singing is even more relaxing.

Usually he just sings whatever is on his mind at the time, and when he hums out an inappropriate blink-182 song it leaves both boys giggling together. But a lot of the time he’ll sing a sweet song that makes Alex want to melt in his arms, and that’s what Jack does right now. It’s times like these that he wishes he could find it in himself to love Jack with all his heart, like Jack does with him.