Status: In progress.
So Here's One Right From My Heart, My Life Right From the Start
you don't have to be afraid
Danny shoved me away as his parents drove up beside us. Dammit, i wanted that moment to go on for a little bit longer. i got a little sad that he pushed me away so hard. i just wanted to keep kissing him. we got into the car with his parents. I just wanted to cuddle into him but i know that i couldnt. His parents would be so judgemental. “Good morning Benjimen how are you?” his mother asked me in a polite tone. Danny kinda looked like her, he looked more like his dad than anything. “um, im good. How are you Mrs. Worsnop?” she didnt look at me. she didnt even turn around to look at us. “im fine thank you.” “Where are we going?” Danny chimed in. his dad mummbled some restaurant under his breath. We drove in an awkward silence for about ten minuets. his family didnt really talk, it was kind of weird for me because my family are really close. Family first. Danny, Sam Cam and James are my family too. they are. i would do anything for them, but now, Danny’s going to be more than family, i want us to start a new family together.
The car haulted. his dad switched off the engine and we got out of the tiny car. the heat began to get to me. i forgot how hot America can be. We walked inside this little restaurant, it was nice. it was a little dark and it had a huge bar. “what you boys drinking i’ll get them in? Pints?” Danny hesitated. “just some orange juice for me dad.” he mummbled. I dont know what it is but his dad makes him so nervous. “ill have the same.” I smiled at as his dad as we took our seats far away from the bar.
We ordered food and sat down with out drinks and the topic quickly changed to Danny’s love life and when they were going to have grandkids. He didnt respond, he didnt look at me. i could see this was difficult. They were really grilling him because they thought myca was going to be the one. Rage flowed through me. Im not an angry person but they were upsetting my danny. “danny?” He moved his head ever so slightly. “wanna tell them?” i whispered. he shook his head. I was ready to hit his dad. I made a fist under the table then quickly unclenched and put my hand ontop of his lap. He moved his knee and pushed my hand off.
“DANNY LOVES ME!” I blurted out. His parents looks at me in confusion. “ME AND DANNY ARE IN LOVE. STOP GRILLING HIM!!!” His dad stood up and grabbed me by the throat. “YOU WHAT?!” I couldnt breathe, i couldnt do anything, the air was leaving my body. i couldnt do anything. I kicked him and stormed out. Danny just sat there. I walked out the double doors slamming them behind me. The tears wept down my face, there was nothing i could do. i need my danny, and ive left him back there what can i do?! I grabbed my phone. 3% battery life. Fuck sake iphones! I quickly text danny “what should i do? xxx” within seconds, he text back “head back to the bus. be there soon” no kisses. no smiley, no wink face. FUUCK!
I headed back to the tourbus, the heat began to get unreally hot. little beads of sweat dripped through my hair. ergh, imma need another shower soon. soon, i reached the tour bus and danny followed behind me. What? HOW DID HE GET BACK SO FAST? then i realised he would of gotten a lift. “danny, im so so so sorry, i didnt mean to it just blurted out.” i pleaded “SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. MY PARENTS ARENT GOING TO ACCEPT THAT, THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. I JUST GOT ON GOOD TERMS WITH THEM AFTER EVERYTHING AND NOW YOU HAVE RUINED IT.” i sobbed on the floor. “im so sorry” his eyes were full of rage. i never thought i would make him this angry. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN. WE CANT BE TOGETHER! WHAT IF THIS GETS OUT TO EVERYONE?!” I’d never seen him so angry. I thought he was going to hit me. I curled in fear on the floor. “Do you not want people to know about us?” He looked at me, sweat ran down his face. “ITS NOT THAT.” his voice lowered slightly. “I’M JUST NOT READY ben, im sorry but we’re not offical and you have sam and -” I tried to look in his eyes. “so you dont want to be with me?” I asked. He didnt respond. “DANNY?!” He threw his hand against the countertop and knocked everything over. “ITS NOT THAT! YOU HAVE SAM! IVE GOT NOONE BUT YOU, I GO HOME AND IM ALONE! YOU HAVE SAM! YOURE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND FUCKING HAVE KIDS AND HAVE A LIFE! I HAVE FUCKING NOTHING!!!!” Tears rolled down his cheaks. I stood up and rushed to cuddle him and he threw me back. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEN!” He got up and locked himself in the tiny bathroom.
I dont know what to do i was going to lose the best thing that ever ever happened to me. He’s my everything, i rely on him for everything now hes breaking down, ive got nothing to fall back on, he is my rock and when hes upset and mad with me what do i do? I wasnt thinking. It was only 1 oclock in the afternoon. I grabbed Danny’s bottle of jack daniels and began to down the bottle. I threw it around me in a circle. I smashed the bottle on the side of the television. I grabbed the bottle of vodka and threw it on the ground. The smash was so loud. The vodka spattered back onto me. Danny must of heard the noise. “What the fuck are you doing?!” He asked as he opened the bathroom door. I locked the tour bus door and continued to throw bottled of alcohol on the ground. “BEN? WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“I dont want you to be alone. You dont have to be afraid.” I grabbed him and kissed him. I grabbed the zippo lighter from my pocket and threw it to the ground. Danny didnt struggle, he knew this is how it ends. The lighter hit the floor and the alcohol lit and the floor began to engulf us in flames. our bodies sunk to the floor as it got harder and harder to breathe. This was the end, just me and danny together forever.
“What’s happened between us, what can I give to save us? being righteous isn’t quite enough what’s happened between us, what can I give to save me, these oceans are far between our hearts when breathing has got too hard”
The car haulted. his dad switched off the engine and we got out of the tiny car. the heat began to get to me. i forgot how hot America can be. We walked inside this little restaurant, it was nice. it was a little dark and it had a huge bar. “what you boys drinking i’ll get them in? Pints?” Danny hesitated. “just some orange juice for me dad.” he mummbled. I dont know what it is but his dad makes him so nervous. “ill have the same.” I smiled at as his dad as we took our seats far away from the bar.
We ordered food and sat down with out drinks and the topic quickly changed to Danny’s love life and when they were going to have grandkids. He didnt respond, he didnt look at me. i could see this was difficult. They were really grilling him because they thought myca was going to be the one. Rage flowed through me. Im not an angry person but they were upsetting my danny. “danny?” He moved his head ever so slightly. “wanna tell them?” i whispered. he shook his head. I was ready to hit his dad. I made a fist under the table then quickly unclenched and put my hand ontop of his lap. He moved his knee and pushed my hand off.
“DANNY LOVES ME!” I blurted out. His parents looks at me in confusion. “ME AND DANNY ARE IN LOVE. STOP GRILLING HIM!!!” His dad stood up and grabbed me by the throat. “YOU WHAT?!” I couldnt breathe, i couldnt do anything, the air was leaving my body. i couldnt do anything. I kicked him and stormed out. Danny just sat there. I walked out the double doors slamming them behind me. The tears wept down my face, there was nothing i could do. i need my danny, and ive left him back there what can i do?! I grabbed my phone. 3% battery life. Fuck sake iphones! I quickly text danny “what should i do? xxx” within seconds, he text back “head back to the bus. be there soon” no kisses. no smiley, no wink face. FUUCK!
I headed back to the tourbus, the heat began to get unreally hot. little beads of sweat dripped through my hair. ergh, imma need another shower soon. soon, i reached the tour bus and danny followed behind me. What? HOW DID HE GET BACK SO FAST? then i realised he would of gotten a lift. “danny, im so so so sorry, i didnt mean to it just blurted out.” i pleaded “SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. MY PARENTS ARENT GOING TO ACCEPT THAT, THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. I JUST GOT ON GOOD TERMS WITH THEM AFTER EVERYTHING AND NOW YOU HAVE RUINED IT.” i sobbed on the floor. “im so sorry” his eyes were full of rage. i never thought i would make him this angry. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN. WE CANT BE TOGETHER! WHAT IF THIS GETS OUT TO EVERYONE?!” I’d never seen him so angry. I thought he was going to hit me. I curled in fear on the floor. “Do you not want people to know about us?” He looked at me, sweat ran down his face. “ITS NOT THAT.” his voice lowered slightly. “I’M JUST NOT READY ben, im sorry but we’re not offical and you have sam and -” I tried to look in his eyes. “so you dont want to be with me?” I asked. He didnt respond. “DANNY?!” He threw his hand against the countertop and knocked everything over. “ITS NOT THAT! YOU HAVE SAM! IVE GOT NOONE BUT YOU, I GO HOME AND IM ALONE! YOU HAVE SAM! YOURE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND FUCKING HAVE KIDS AND HAVE A LIFE! I HAVE FUCKING NOTHING!!!!” Tears rolled down his cheaks. I stood up and rushed to cuddle him and he threw me back. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEN!” He got up and locked himself in the tiny bathroom.
I dont know what to do i was going to lose the best thing that ever ever happened to me. He’s my everything, i rely on him for everything now hes breaking down, ive got nothing to fall back on, he is my rock and when hes upset and mad with me what do i do? I wasnt thinking. It was only 1 oclock in the afternoon. I grabbed Danny’s bottle of jack daniels and began to down the bottle. I threw it around me in a circle. I smashed the bottle on the side of the television. I grabbed the bottle of vodka and threw it on the ground. The smash was so loud. The vodka spattered back onto me. Danny must of heard the noise. “What the fuck are you doing?!” He asked as he opened the bathroom door. I locked the tour bus door and continued to throw bottled of alcohol on the ground. “BEN? WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“I dont want you to be alone. You dont have to be afraid.” I grabbed him and kissed him. I grabbed the zippo lighter from my pocket and threw it to the ground. Danny didnt struggle, he knew this is how it ends. The lighter hit the floor and the alcohol lit and the floor began to engulf us in flames. our bodies sunk to the floor as it got harder and harder to breathe. This was the end, just me and danny together forever.
“What’s happened between us, what can I give to save us? being righteous isn’t quite enough what’s happened between us, what can I give to save me, these oceans are far between our hearts when breathing has got too hard”