The Dreaming Smile Above the Skin

It's been a month. A month filled with little to no communication. Ever since that night, both of our lips have been sewn shut. The way he looks at me currently as if I'm a totally different person. I'm still the Ryan Ross he fell in love with. I'm still here... I'm still me. It's just that now... the monster that was held back for a good long while decided to show its face.
I get back home with a few cans of soup from the store. After I set the bags on the counter, I go into to Brendon's room to see how he's doing. Somehow he seems to be smiling more than usual. He's looking at a book. From where I'm standing, I can almost barely make it out.
"What are you looking at?" I ask. I haven't spoken this many words to him in a while.
"An old yearbook of mine." The smile doesn't leave his face when he looks at me.
"That's cool." I say as I sit by him on the bed.
I read the title of the book and it's a yearbook, but... Palo Verde High School... wait... Palo Verde High School. Holy shit.
"Can I see that?" I ask, almost flabbergasted at the sight.
He hands it to me and says, "Shouldn't be anything in there to your interest. Pretty sure your school was more interesting than mine, I mean-"
"Brendon..." My voice comes out hoarse.
"What?" He asks in a serious tone.
"After I transferred from Bishop Gorman... I went to this school..."
His expression changes. Somewhere in the middle of surprised, excited, and confused, "What year?"
"Junior year..." Comes out almost in a whisper.
"You... you're in here! Holy shit, Ryan." He takes the yearbook back from me and flips through it frantically.
"Aha!" He just barely shouts... and holy shit... there I am looking as pathetic as ever. He glances from the picture, to me, and back. He says, "You look different, a lot different-" He stops, eyes wide...
"I... I vaguely remember you. Holy hell, you were the kid that had the locker near me. It was you, oh my god, Ryan... it was you!"
"Wait... wha-" I barely manage to say. I don't remember him... but then again I did force my high school years out of my head. Yet, the dream...
His face... I didn't make him up.
He flips to the page where his picture is shown, "Do you vaguely remember this face? I can't believe I forgot yours."
And then I start to think really goddamn hard. My locker.. I don't even remember the number. Fuck... it's strange how his face comes back to me in a time where I had almost pushed everything out.
"Barely... I mean I tried not to."
He sighs, "I remember more of you now. There was never a smile on your face."
"My high school years were never the best."
"I don't think many would disagree, but honestly... I've never seen someone so broken."
In that brief second, I could feel everything come back to me. The bullies, my family, where I would sit everyday... all of my scars. I bet at this very moment, my face is so contorted... tears might fall any second.
"Ryan." He puts his hand on my knee, "What was your past like? It's not as though a dying man could say anything." He has a hopeful small smile, waiting for an answer. I haven't told anyone. I promised myself I would never say it, but in a time like this... there's nothing to hide.
"My dad was an abusive alcoholic. My mom... the most fragile thing ever." I take a breath, "He used to beat her and me almost senselessly all the time."
Brendon's face is crushing me. This is about the saddest I've ever seen him, besides the announcement in the hospital months ago.
"I had bullies at school. No friend to call my own. I would believe everything my dad said... how I was worthless and stupid. How I was a fag and no one loved me. I'd cut myself almost everyday... taking those words in... wanting to die. One day I managed to run away from the hell hole."
"You... came here and met me." He says in such a broken tone.
"Yes." And I can feel the pain and those tears fall down my cheeks.
He puts the yearbook aside and brings me in for a tight hug. Don't let go... don't.
As soon as he releases from me, he lies down. I lay next to him as he pulls me into his side. He kisses my head.
I drift into his touch...