Our End Never Got to Be Happy

the last time laps (skipping long periods of time ) its been almost a year since jacky joined us , and i have been nothing but cruel and cold towards him ever since . i figured that if i got him to hate me he could never love me and he wouldnt ever be killed because of me .very easy and simple .it hurts me so much to see what my words do to him . he has always been shy , quiet , insecure , and what makes it worse is i know all the things tosay to hurt him . By hurting him i repel him from me . thats what is necessary to save him . i sighed to myself as i looked up at jacky who was sitting on the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head phones in . he was focused on the floor but looked up at my eyes while i was watching him . i forced myself to glare at him and he stood up and left the room . i heard him go uo the stairs to him and ryans room . yeah they share a room .ryan looooves jacky . says he likes that he listens . thats one of the things i loved about him . i hate seeing the pain i cause him echo in his pretty eyes ,t he sadness spread across his face . but like i have said , its necessary for his safety

jacky's p.o.v-
i went to me and ryans room and layed on my bed . ryan wasnt here right now . why dose ronnie hate me ? what did i ever do to him ? whatever it is i wish i could take it back . i never wanted ronnie to hate me . i have always admired and loved ronnie . since he was in escape the fate . but when i finally met him i realized he was a jerk . the guy i used to look up to like an idol hates me .. and i dont know why or how to fix it . its strange cause i night i have dreams that he loves me and i love him . sometimes i wish they were real . But ronnie hates me soooo , never gonna happen . i have wanted nothing more then to get lo with ronnie but he seems content with hating me and verbally abuseing me

update later . me = tired its like 4 am