Let Me Forget.

”Are you going to always do that?” I heard Max ask me. I turned and looked at my best friend, who had a smile stretched across his face.

“Do what?” I asked, confused. He shook his head and just threw an arm around my shoulders.

He pulled me with him, turning us both in a circle, “Go in circles when you listen to us play Underdog. Do you really not even notice?”

I shook my head, “No, I just get into it.”

He smiled at me, hugging me tightly. “I know you do.”

It had been a long time since I’d seen You Me At Six live. And an even longer time since I’d seen the rest of the guys.

I’ll admit, once about six months after I left, they had a show here. Despite my better judgment, I went. I was so comforting hearing him sing, but when the songs started getting more personal, closer to me, I left.

Knowing that I had hurt him so badly, hurt me. I didn’t want to hear him sing about it. But I thought, after three years, I could do it.

I had no idea what to wear tonight, though. It couldn’t be too dressy, but it couldn’t be too causal like a T-shirt and jeans.

I finally just decided on a pair of tight, black jeans and a tank top with “Be your own anchor” and a large white anchor on the front. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I knew I was missing something.

On my dresser below me, I saw what I was missing.

Before I left Weybridge, I wanted something to always remind me where I came from. And so, at the airport, I bought this cheap little heart necklace, a Union Jack covering the heart. It was simple, but it made sure I wouldn’t forget.

I thought it suited tonight very well.

I picked it up and clasped it around my neck before grabbing some heels and walking out of my room.

Josh grinned at the sight of me, but then shook his head when he spotted the black heels in my hand.

“What?” I asked him, sitting down and putting them beside me.

He walked over and picked them up, walking back towards my room. “I said causal, heels are not casual, love.”

I scoffed, running my fingers through my hair. It was messy, but it looked fine, I suppose.

He walked back out a few minutes later and dropped some Vans at my feet. They were simple black and white. He put some no-show socks beside me on the couch.

“Those are better” He claimed, nodding in approval.

I shook my head, but put the socks and shoes on anyway. When I was done, I stood up and Josh evaluated my outfit, before giving me a smile. Then he stopped and came forward some, reaching for my necklace.

Before I had time to move out of his reach, he held it in his hand, looking at it curiously.

“What’s this?” He asked. I just shook my head, pulling it out of his hand.

“Nothing, just a little souvenir. I thought it would fit nicely tonight” I lied. It was so much more than just a little souvenir. It was all I had from then. All the presents and things Josh had given me before were locked up inside a box in my room so no one would find them.

He nodded, then turned and headed to the door. “The cab is already here, I called it while you were changing” He told me simply. I just nodded.

We followed the stairs down and found the cab outside, climbing in. Josh gave the driver the address of wherever they were playing, I didn’t recognize it.

After about ten minutes, we pulled up and Josh tossed some money at the driver, not even bothering to count it out.

There was already a long line in front of the doors, security keeping them back. When the fans spotted Josh, they started screaming. I just got weird looks as I followed behind him.

He headed around the building, past the security at the fence, quietly telling them “She’s with me.” I just gave a nervous smile to the large men wearing ‘Security’ shirts.

When his bus came in view, I felt a wave of nausea washed over me. I was about to see my best friend and all my other friends that I had left with nothing more than an I’m sorry.

He typed in the code on the bus and pulled the door open, the two of us stepping on lightly.

“Where have you been?” We heard a collection of male voices say. Then I came face to face with everyone I had wronged.

I was getting a few curious glances from the others, but no one said anything yet as Josh just told them he was “Out” and then headed back to, what I assumed was, the bunks to get changed.

Then I was left there alone with them. Max, my best friend, was the first to speak.

“So, who are you?” He asked me curiously.

“I’m, uh, Maddie. Josh’s therapist. The one he and Matt went out with last night” I said cautiously. A smile stretched across his face.

“So you’re the bird Josh went home with. Nice catch, I’d say” Dan said, leaning back in his chair. I just put my eyes back on the floor.

Then I heard footsteps and Max was in front of me again. “Well, I’m Max” He said, holding out his hand to me. I hesitantly shook it.

Then Dan and Chris came up as well, following Max’s lead. Even though I already knew their names, I’d still be nice.

It wasn’t every day I came face to face with all the ghosts of my past at once.

A few hours later, the guys were setting up on stage and going through their sound check as I just stood by watching.

After a little while, fans started pouring in. Girls fought to be right against the stage, a few punches actually being thrown. It was interesting.

Some of the girls even spotted me standing off stage and glared at me. And there were a few that waved, and I waved back.

Finally, the guys ran out on stage. Dan leading, and Josh being the last on. He glanced at me and smiled as he walked on.

All the girls screamed as loud as they could from when Josh appeared to when he started talking. I briefly wondered how the screaming never hurt their ears.

“How’s everyone doing today?” He asked, just getting screams in return. Yes, because you’re doing scream today.

“That’s great” He replied, which I actually laughed at for a minute. He introduced whatever song they were doing and they jumped right into it. Josh moved enthusiastically around the stage, touching a few fans to make them happy.

The normal singer stuff.

After a few songs, he quietly introduced the next one.

“This one, is called Underdog. I’m sure you know it” He said. He sounded sad, like he remembered this was my favorite song.

He still sang it just as lively as he could, but it wasn’t the same.

Before I knew it, I was singing along, dancing in circles by myself. It was the only song I’d ever really sing along to.

When the song was over, I turned back to look at the stage. Josh was wrapping up, getting ready for their last song.

I hardly even noticed Max staring at me, completely white in the face. Like he had seen a ghost.