I'll Be Right Beside You

“Cam? You okay?” I shook my head as I walked into Becka and Sid’s place. All three of the girls were there, looking concerned when I stomped in the door.

“No! Jordan’s being weird; he’s not being himself and it’s pissing me off, and now so that Jordan doesn’t blow another fuse Jared’s acting all weird and just… FUCK!” I was breathing heavily, so incredibly rattled I didn’t know whether to scream or break down and cry. Vero’s eyes were wide, but Becka just sighed and drug me to the living room, making me sit down in a chair before pushing a can of Coke into my hands.

“Okay, first of all, you need to explain to us what happened,” she instructed. Rosa and Becka walked into the living room and sat down as I opened the can of soda and took a drink. It was obviously supposed to distract me for a moment or two so I could calm down enough to tell the girls what had happened.

“Well, Jared flew up yesterday; I guess he talked to the coach and asked for a few more days off so he could,” Rosa and Becka both nodded, and Vero just looked confused. She knew Jared was playing in the NHL this year, and understood just what it meant for him to be here.

“’e just asked for time off? I t’ought ‘e just made the NHL t’is year?” she asked.

“Yeah, he did. I told him he should have just stayed, but he won’t listen to me, as per usual,” I managed a bark of a laugh before continuing with my explanation.

“Jordan was being… I don’t even know what to call it yesterday morning. He wasn’t being clingy, but…” the girls all nodded, understanding what I was trying to get at. He was being incredibly cuddly for Jordan since his accident, and probably needed the comfort. “So he didn’t want me to leave to pick Jared up from the airport. When I did we stopped at Starbucks for a few minutes because Jared was hungry, and then went back to my place. I was tired – I only had a few hours of sleep the night before, so we sat on the couch and Jared put his arms around me and told me he’d wake me up when Jordan got up. I woke up to them arguing because Jordan was mad that Jared had his arms around me. They got into a big fight about it – I guess Jordan thought we were sleeping together,” Vero gasped, but Becka and Rosa rolled their eyes.

“He probably put his stuff in your room, right?” Rosa asked, and I nodded. They knew that Jared and I didn’t think about it like that, so it wasn’t a surprise to either of them.

“Yeah,” I nodded, and Rosa waved me to continue.

“So of course I was upset and Jared came to make sure I was okay. Jordan came and apologized to me before going into his room. He was practically crying because of course our breakup came up in the argument,”

“Jared used that against him?” Rosa gasped, all three girls’ eyes wide. Jared would never do such a thing, and the girls knew him well enough to know that. Even just the thought of Jared being capable of doing something like that was astonishing, and I groaned as I tried to find a way to explain what I’d actually meant.

“No! No, he just explained that he’d slept in the same bed as me before, and used the whole Jordan/Claude mess as an example,” I sighed, before forcing another drink of soda past my lips.

“So then of course Jordan got upset about the breakup thing because Jared told him what a mess I’d been. So Jared tucked me into my bed and crawled in beside me and got me to go to sleep. Then this morning I went to talk to Jordan about it all and he told me –told me that I should be with Jared instead,” I finished, and all of the girls stared at me like I’d grown another head.

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t know whether to cry or slap him,” I added, and then proceeded to all but chug the remainder of soda. There was dead silence in the living room, before Rosa cleared her throat. We all turned to look at her, and she started fiddling with her sweater while she tried to find something to say.

“Well, um, what do… what do you think about you dating Jared?” she quietly asked, a mix of her friend voice and shrink voice clueing me in that she wasn’t sure she would agree with me and wanted to stay a little separate from it. Even though I nearly sprayed soda across Becka and Sid's gorgeous - and clean - living room.

“I don’t have a fucking clue, I mean, he’s Jared, you know?” I admitted, leaning over the arm of the chair. The girls all relaxed a little when they saw I wasn’t about to blow a gasket over it, and Becka furrowed her brow.

“Well, I t’ink ‘e would be good for you, but I don’t know ‘ow it would go over, you know? And obvious if you don’t ‘ave feelings for ‘im, t’at makes a difference,” Vero spoke up, catching me off guard. She’d never said anything about it before, so to know she felt the same way I knew Rosa did was a little astounding.

“I agree,” Becka nodded as well, and I quietly waited for her explanation. “Jared’s always been there for you Cam; hell, aside from Jordan he was the first person you actually told about being a girl. And you two are pretty cute together; you can’t deny that.”

“Being cute together doesn’t mean we should date,” I pointed out, and then Rosa finally looked like she was about to say something.

“Well, I get why you’re mad; you don’t know if this is Jordan talking or the mix of what he knows has gone on. But at the same time you know where I stand on this. Jared’s always been better for you – he gets you, he can talk things out, he’s sweet, he’s funny – and he understood your side of the whole breakup thing. I think that’s a major plus for him. But really the question is do you like him like that?”

All three of them looked to me, and I suddenly felt nervous and uncomfortable. I had no idea; I mean, he’d always just been my best friend, and Jordan’s brother. But now with this whole mess I had no fucking idea what to think about anything. And I wasn’t sure if Becka and Rose were thinking dating Jared was a good idea merely because of how messed up things had got with Jordan and because they thought we’d fall back into that rut, or if they genuinely thought Jared and I would be good together. I wasn’t even sure I knew what I felt about the situation.

“I don’t even know; I’m so confused about everything right now I can hardly fucking tell up from down,” I told them, making Becka laugh.

“Sounds like you girlie,” she allowed, getting a huff out of me that caused some more laughter in the living room and relieving most of the tension that had been there. The front door opened and we heard some off-tune humming and footsteps that stopped dead in the entrance to the living room when we all looked. Sid looked surprised and then sheepish, giving us all a small wave.

“Hey ladies; how are you?” he asked, and then noticed something was off for just a visiting chat. He looked to me and I offered him a small shrug, which seemed to let him know what was going on. He blushed a tiny bit before stuttering for a second as he stood in the entrance of the living room. Just as he always did when he felt out of place he pulled his hat off his head, ran a hand through his hair and then replaced it.

“Sorry, I’m interrupting girl talk,” he teased before coming over to give Becka a quick kiss and give the rest of us a short hug before excusing himself and going upstairs.

“You need a clone of Sid; that’s what you need,” Rosa decided, making all of us burst into laughter.

“Do you have any idea how whipped the poor boy would be? You guys tease him for being whipped now, imagine if Cam had him under her thumb,” Becka giggled, and Vero was nearly on the floor trying to contain herself.

“T’e poor boy wouldn’t know what ‘it ‘im,” she managed to get out, tears at the corners of her eyes. I shook my head at my friends, enjoying this moment before the inevitable came up.

“Are you and Claude still talking?” Becka asked, and I grimaced. That was still a little painful; I felt awful for dragging him into this whole mess.

“No, we haven’t talked since the hospital thing,” I told them, and then had to explain Claude showing up at the hospital and that whole story so they were totally up to speed on it all.

“Okay, sorry for bringing that up,” she apologized.

“No, Becka it’s fine; honest. I just feel bad for dragging him into all of this in the first place,”

“You don’t miss him?” Rosa asked, and I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I do but I don’t, I guess. Claude’s an incredible guy; he’s sweet and he’s understanding and funny… but it just wasn’t…”

“Just wasn’t right,” Vero supplied, and I nodded in agreement with her. She always seemed to have words to explain everything.

“Exactly,”

“Well, the way I see it you need to see if you have feelings for Jared and move from there. You said yourself you didn’t want to talk everything out with Jordan until he remembered it for himself, so that’s kind of out for a while,” Rosa informed me, being her usual blunt self.

“But wouldn’t that be weird? I mean, his parents and Eric and Marc… I’ve always been Jordan’s to them. Jared’s my best friend, and who says I need a boyfriend anyway?” I asked, and they all shrugged.

“If he’s good for you and you two have real feelings then I don’t think it would be weird. You might want to talk to him and maybe even Henry and Linda about it to see what they think if you want to give Jared a chance though, just to be sure,” Becka told me, and I stared at the ceiling trying to sort through my thoughts. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be more than friends with Jared; I didn’t know if I had feelings for him beyond friends, then all of this?

“They know how close you and Jared are, and they know that you aren’t just some girl out for the Staal brothers,” Rosa added, making me chuckle as Vero nodded.

“She is right Cam; ‘enry and Linda know you very well and t’ey love you – t’ey would understand if you and Jared ‘ad developed feelings for each ot’er, wit’ all of t’is ‘appening. But at t’e same time, making all t’ese excuses? I t’ink t’at speaks for itself,” she shrugged, and I blew out a long breath. This wasn’t exactly the conversation I’d expected when I texted the girls saying I needed to talk. But Vero did have a point, and at least maybe that could help me figure out the mess that was my brain right now.

“Well, now I think I’m even more confused than before, but at least the three of you don’t act all weird around me; thanks for that,” I sighed as I stood up, and all three of them wrapped me up in a tight group hug. With that I got my coat and shoes on and headed for my car, hoping Jordan and Jared hadn’t managed to get into a scrap for the hour or so that I’d been gone. Normally I wouldn’t have to worry, but after what all had transpired last night I had no clue what to expect.