Next To Me

Nicole:

I woke up this morning at Beau's house and was actually happy I didn't take Mason back to Vancouver. Although, seeing Taylor last night didn't feel so great. I mean, I'm sure if he and I talked, he would understand, but I don't expect him to be too happy. I decided to take Mason to the Oilers' practice today. This way Mason could see Taylor, but I could also talk to him about us not leaving. I got dressed then got Mase up and fed him breakfast. "How are you feeling today Mase?" "Okay I guess." "Well you gotta go get changed cause we are gonna leave soon." "Where are we going?" "It's a surprise." "Okay, give me five minutes." I laughed as he slowly dragged his feet into his room to change. I waited until he walked back out yawning. "Okay, let's go." "You look good honey." "Thanks. Let's go before I fall asleep standing here." I laughed and pushed him toward the door. "Let's go then!" He quickly shuffled his feet out to the car.

Once he was in his seat I started the car and we were off. "Mommy?" "Yeah Mase?" "Why were you going to take me on a vacation?" I looked at him in the rear view mirror and smiled. "Well, buddy. I just thought we could use a break away from everybody here." "But I like it here. Daddy's here, and so are Taylor and Jordan." "I know, and that's why I agreed with daddy and were staying. I realized we are happier here." "I'm happy, you're happy, we are all happy!" He shot me a smile form the backseat and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's right buddy." I pulled into the player parking lot at Rexall Place and let out a sigh. "Are we here to see daddy practice?" "Yeah, and maybe some other guys too." I looked back at him and I could tell he needed to be here, in Edmonton. I got out and opened his door. "Ready bud?" "Yupp." He jumped out of the car and grabbed my hand. "Let's go!" We started walking inside and I was a bit nervous about seeing Taylor, but I knew it needed to be done. Mason and I walked into the rink and took the entrance the players always took to get to the locker room.

As Mason and I walked through the hallway, I was getting more nervous about seeing Taylor. I mean, would he even want to talk? We rounded the last corner and I saw Taylor talking to some guys I didn't recognized. "Tay-" I put my hand over Mason's mouth. "Shh. He is talking to somebody." "Oh sorry." He whispered and giggled. I tried to see if I could recognize the men talking to Taylor, but all I could see were Calgary Flames logos on their jackets. Once the men walked away Mason ran over. "Taylor!" He turned around shocked to see Mase, but he picked him up and hugged him. "Hey buddy." I could see how much Taylor missed Mason just by the way he reacted. "I miss you Tay." "I know Mase, I've missed you too." He put Mason down as he saw me walking over. "Hi." I gave him a faint smile. He looked to the ground and put his hands in his pockets. "Hi." "Look, Mase why don't you go sit over here and you can watch daddy practice?" I carried him over to the stands and put him in a seat. "Okay." He waved at some of the guys who were on the ice. I walked back over and looked at Taylor. All he could do was shake his head.

"What happened to Vancouver?" He looked up at me and I could tell he was upset. "Look, I planned on going but-" "Let me guess, Beau changed your mind?" "Yeah. But he didn't force me to stay, I made the decision." "You didn't think of maybe letting me know?" He started walking away but I went after him. "How? How was I supposed to tell you?" "I don't know a phone call? Text? Anything would have been better then seeing you and Beau holding hands last night!" He raised his voice since we weren't around Mason. "I was afraid you would be upset." "Well yeah, you left me for a guy who wasn't even there for 3 years of that kids life!" He pointed back to where Mason was. I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Beau is not the main reason I stayed! He gave me a good reason to stay. I can't take Mason away from what he knows. He finally has his mom and dad in the same place, I can't rid him of that. Beau is here now and he is making up for lost time, and I'm just happy he is in Mason's life even though it took 3 years." I wiped a few tears form my face. "If Beau wouldn't have tried to get back with you, would you have still left and taken Mase away from all of this?" "I don't know, maybe. I have my reasons for wanting to leave." "What are your reasons?" "I can't tell you. I haven't even told Beau." "Whatever." He shook his head a turned to walk away. "Why do you care?" He stopped and looked back confused. "What?" "Why do you care?" "What kind of question is that?" "An honest one." "Because, I love you and I love Mason. If anything happened where I couldn't see either of you I wouldn't know what to do."

"Really Taylor? Is that why you were just talking to those guys from Calgary." He looked away. "I know why they were here. You are leaving." "Thinking, I'm thinking about leaving." "Why? If you love mason, forget about loving me. If you love that boy so much, why would you leave?" "I never see him anymore. I understand that you and Beau are together, but you not even me just getting to hug him or say hi, it kills me. If I left, I wouldn't have to worry anymore." "What would I tell Mason?" "The truth." Taylor started to walk away until he turned back to look at me. "Does he even know we aren't together anymore?" I looked at him as any remaining tears fell from my cheeks. "I think he's figured it out himself." I looked past Taylor and saw Mason standing in the hallway, I knew he was upset. "Mason, buddy." Taylor walked toward him, but Mason took a step back. "You're leaving?" "No, well, maybe, but I don't know yet." "Why? I thought you loved it here." "I do, but. I just need to get away for awhile buddy." "Like a vacation?" "Sort of." Taylor looked back at me then walked into the locker room.

"Come here Mase." I picked him up and we went to watch the rest of practice. "Mommy, did you tell Taylor?" "Tell Taylor what?" "The thing you didn't tell daddy." "No, I didn't tell him." "Well, are you gonna tell daddy?" "Yes, eventually I will have too." Mason turned back to watch the guys skate different drills. I ran my hand through his hair and thought about how I will tell Beau. He will be mad I haven't told him because it's so serious, but I know he will be just as worried as I am.

Once practice was over we waited for Beau and headed home. Mason sat on the floor and played with his cars while I found something to watch. "So, you're going to that dinner tonight right?" "What about the munchkin?" I looked down at Mason then back at Beau. "He can come, a bunch of guys are bringing their kids." "Okay. What time are we leaving?" "Two hours?" "Sounds good."

(2 hours later)

The three of us changed and we were on our way. The dinner was just a team thing, I guess to get everyone out together or something like that. We were sitting at a table with Shawn Horcoff, his wife, and their two kids. Their kids were older than Mason, but not by much. After the coach had said a few words everyone began eating. "So Beau, you gonna get your boy playing anytime soon?" "I'm hoping to get him in skates and put a stick in his hands sometime this winter." I gave Beau a faint smile, but I wasn't sure about that happening. Not that I didn't want Mason playing, I just didn't know if he would be able to. "Well, it took us awhile, but we got Will started and I can hardly get the skates and stick away from him now." Everyone laughed. "Hey guys, how we doing over here?" "Great Tom." Coach Renney came over to our table to talk, like he did with everyone else. "Do I see some future oilers at this table?" He looked at Will and Mason then smiled. "We're hoping sir." Shawn gave him a smile and coach looked at Beau. "When's your boy getting some gear and coming on the ice with us?" "I'm hoping soon sir, it would nice for him to get on the ice with his dad." I felt tears forming but I couldn't let everyone see. "Well, we will be happy to have you on the ice whenever you are ready Mason." Mase shook his head as Tom shot him a smile then left.

I wiped the tears that started to fall and Beau became concerned. "Nicole, what is it? Are you okay?" "I'm sorry, I need a minute. Excuse me." I got up and walked out of the room and Beau soon followed. I sat on some stairs outside the ballroom and just cried. "Nicole. Are you gonna tell me what's got you so upset?" Beau sat next to me and put an arm around me to try an comfort me. "I couldn't listen to them talking about Mason following in your footsteps and becoming an oiler and you trying to get him to skate this winter, I just couldn't hear it anymore." "Well, if you don't want him to play hockey, there are plenty of other sports out there." "No, it's not that. I would love for him to become an oiler like you, but I don't think he will be able to." "What are you talking about?" I could tell Beau was nervous and scared. I got up and started pacing back and forth. "I should have told you this as soon as I found out." "Nicole? What is it?" "I mean, we weren't together at the time and I didn't think you would really care, but I probably should have just told you." Beau stood up and grabbed my arms to get me to snap out of it. "What is it Nicole? Please just tell me. I don't care that you didn't tell me right away, just please tell me now." I looked at him and the tears were now flowing.

"Months ago, Mason wasn't feeling well, so I took him to a doctor. I thought it was a sore throat or something." Tears were forming in Beau's eyes and I couldn't find the words to say. "The ran multiple tests and the doctors said that. They said that." I looked at the floor shaking my head. "What? Just tell me Nicole. Please." "Mason has cancer." Beau wrapped me in his arms as it what I told him sunk in. He held me for a few minutes while he also cried and he didn't say a word. We both pulled ourselves together and returned to the dinner. When we got to our table Beau gave Mason a hug and kissed him, then sat down. Mason leaned over to me and whispered. "Did you tell him mommy?" I gave Mason a hug and a kiss. "Yeah sweetie, I told him."