Fight for You

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since I had arrived back in Australia. Two weeks since I had any contact with One Direction, Danielle or Eleanor. As far as I knew they hadn’t tried to contact me and I was perfectly okay with that. Well I tried to be. The paparazzi went away a couple of days after management released a statement stating that Harry and I were not together and we never were. I finally was able to go back to work without being harassed. I had decided that I would go back to living my life the way I did before One Direction entered my life.

I told Paige and Casey everything that happened. They were of course supportive but I knew they thought I over-reacted slightly and I probably should have stayed to talk it out. I knew that the moment I had landed back in Australia. I have regret leaving every day since but I was too stubborn to admit that out loud. And too scared.

I knew Harry and I would never have worked so it was best to end whatever we had here. To save both our feelings. Whatever feelings I had left. This was easier, to be away from him was easier. When he was around I felt so raw so open to everyone, I hated the vulnerability I felt when I was around him. The walls I had built up around my heart he had knocked down. So therefore it was up to me to build stronger walls so this wouldn’t happen again. I would not let a boy hurt me like that again. I would forget about Harry Styles and move on with my life.

-

Apparently forgetting about him wasn’t that easy, not if he wouldn’t let me. I pulled into my driveway noticing a car sitting out front of the house. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a drink before I went in search of Casey and Paige. I walked into the lounge room to find them and other people. Harry instantly stood up the moment I walked into the room. Zayn and Louis stayed sitting in the chairs.

“Skye,” Before he could continue I had walked out of the room and up the stairs. I could hear him run up after me, my plan was to slam my door in his face but he was too quick and made it in my room before I could shut it.

“Get out!” I hissed at him, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Just hear me out.” He said grabbing my arm to try and make me look at him. I yanked my arm out of his grip.

“There’s nothing left to say Harry!”

“For you maybe, but I didn’t get a chance to talk. You screamed at me and then stormed out and left the freaking country. Now you’re going to listen to me!” I spun around to glare at him crossing my arms over my chest waiting for him to continue. He looked surprised at first obviously not thinking I would hear him out.

“I did not think of you as a fling. I do not want to be that boy that you expect me to be. But for some reason you don’t trust me. All I have done is try to protect you. I was trying to protect you from the paparazzi and the fans. They would hurt you, they already did. You were crying because of their tweets and it killed me seeing you like that. I caused that pain! So the best thing for you was to not be in a relationship with me. But I couldn’t let you go. I was too selfish. So this was the next best thing. I am not ashamed of you! I’m trying to protect you.”

“I kept telling you that I don’t need your protection.” I snapped at him, I could see him getting angry.

“Right because I’m sure you could defend yourself from your abusive ex!” I had never been angrier at him then what I was then.

“Don’t you bring him into this!”

“Why not? Because I’m getting a pretty good idea why he cheated on you! You won’t let anyone in. I’m trying to be a good boyfriend and protect you but you won’t even let me do that. The moment you come close to depending on me in any way you panic and you leave. I waited for you! I waited until you were comfortable in having a relationship with me! What part of that makes you think that I would just leave you! Why on earth would I wait around for months just to leave you if I got bored! God I have been so careful with you, I was so afraid that if I pushed you too far in the slightest way you would run away. You would run away and I would never see you again. Because you can’t get close to people.”

“Yes I can!” I protested.

“No you can’t! Think about it Skye, Casey and Paige are all you have. Your other friends, how close are you with them huh? Anything much more with them you would be running scared. What about the boys or Danielle and Eleanor? You’ve been gone two weeks and did you try to contact any of them? They didn’t hurt you, I DID! I was the one that scared you! But you distanced yourself from them too!” He was screaming at me now and I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes.

“You know what the worse thing is! That I loved you! I still fucking do! Ever since the first time we slept together I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. You know why because I was afraid the moment I told you I would lose you!” I stood there shocked not knowing what to say as Harry stood in front of me breathing heavily.

“Get out!” I said turning my back to him.

“See. I tell you and you push me away!”

“GET OUT! Just get out! I don’t want or need you in my life so get the hell out of it!” I turned around to scream at him before walking into my bathroom and slamming the door. I couldn’t stand to see the pain in his face anymore.

I leant against the door and slid down so I was sitting on the floor, knees pulled into my chest. I just wanted him to go away so my heart would stop aching. So everything would stop aching. Because not matter how much I tried to deny it every part of my body just wanted to fall into his arms. But I knew how much he could hurt me now; he had the power to break me completely. I could never go back to him not when I love him this much.