Scars of Your Love

“Shona,” he said quietly. Saying nothing, I tried to step past him but he blocked my way. “Can we talk?”
“No, just let me past,” I mumbled, shoving him out the way. He grabbed my wrist. “Bolt, I need to get home.”
“Shona please, can we just talk?” We both stood in silence for a second as I decided whether or not to speak to him. What was there to say? He had no excuse. I was trying to forget about him; this would just make it worse. “Fine,” I mumbled, suddenly wishing I hadn’t. What the hell was I saying? I didn’t want to talk to him. I wanted to go home. He nodded towards the alley down the side of the shop and reluctantly, I went along with it. “Go on then,” I said irately, staring at the ground.
“You gotta know I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Bolton, it’s not just me you’re hurting; taking drugs has consequences. These people could get hurt – they could die. You could get arrested! You could spend the next ten years in fucking prison!”
“Shh, do you want everyone to know or what?”
“I want you to realise what you’ve done!”
“Don’t you think I already have? What I did was the biggest mistake of my life and I will never forgive myself. I just want you to let me explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain.”
“Shona, you’re not even looking at me. Can you just look at me?”
“No Bolton, I’m sick of you. I’m sick of everything.”
“I heard about your mum,” Bolton said, quickly changing the subject.
“Yeah, she’s at home right now. So is my dad. Isn’t that weird? All I ever wanted was my mum, my dad and you. Mum’s come home and you’ve left.”
“I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. Please just give me one more chance. I’ll never touch anything again, I swear down.”
“It’s a bit late for that.”
“Look, I still love you Shona. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I was an idiot for letting you down. I know I’m never gonna be able to make it up to you but please, just let me try.” I admit, I was touched by his little speech. Okay so it was nothing amazing but this was Bolton we’re talking about. He doesn’t do anything sweet or touching so I had to give him credit for trying. “I’ll think about it,” I said quickly before walking off.

When I got back, Violet was still there, as was my dad. Violet was sitting on the sofa with a cuppa and a magazine while dad was washing up. “Hey,” I said as I put the magazines down on the kitchen counter. “Hey sweetie,” dad said.
“So um…what’s going on?” Dad and Violet looked at each other and shrugged.
“Nothing,” Violet said quickly.
“Okay, well then, I’ll be in my room,” I muttered, shutting the door behind me. I sat down on the bed and turned on my laptop. I updated my Tumblr then ordered a couple of pairs of shoes and some clothes from Topshop and Hollister. I felt like such a spoilt brat knowing my dad’s credit card details off by heart. I heard talking outside so tip-toed towards the door and opened it a couple of centimetres. Dad had sat down on the sofa opposite Violet and they were talking. “So how’s Shona been?” asked Violet.
“Not good. Her grades have been dropping and she’s spends most of her time out with those friends of hers. They’re such a bad influence: drinking, clubbing.” Shit. Dad didn’t know the half of it and I prayed Violet wasn’t about to tell him. She looked round the room and caught me peering through the gap in the door. I shook my head pleadingly. Violet smiled. “Have you ever met them?”
“A couple of times.”
“Well then you don’t know them.”
“I just wish she wouldn’t see them so much.”
“What else is she meant to do? You’re working all the time; it must get boring sitting home alone.” Violet knew I was listening now so I shut the door. I couldn’t hear them as clearly anymore but I could just about make out what was being said. “I’m sorry but I don’t think you’re in any position to be criticising me for not being around for our kid,” dad yelled.
“That’s not what I’m saying Michael. Do you think I’m proud of it? Do you not think the reason I’m here is to make up for it? Do you not think I have spent every day for the past thirteen years wishing I’d done things differently?”
“Why are you here Violet?”
“To see my daughter.”
“Why now? Why not last year? Why not the year before? Why now? Shona doesn’t need you, we’re fine.” There was silence. I didn’t dare open the door again; I was too scared to see Violet leave, not again. She was always fragile and nervous, she never fought for anything – she just left. I hated my dad for not doing anything. I couldn’t hear him holding her back, I couldn’t hear him apologising. He just stood by and watched it happen. There was silence for a few more minutes before Violet finally spoke up. “How would you know? When have you ever asked her how her day went? When have you asked how she is and actually cared about the answer?” They talked for a while longer but I couldn’t hear anything since their voices were so muffled. I jumped when Violet opened the door. “What’s going on?” I asked. Violet sat down next to me.
“Nothing.”
“It doesn’t sound like nothing.” I wasn’t a kid anymore. She didn’t need to protect me. What could I do anyway? It’s not like I could run away like she had. “Your dad’s arranged for me to stay at a hotel for a few weeks while we decide what to do from here.”
“What are we going to do from here?”
“I really don’t know. I’ve got my life in Ibiza now – we’ll have to think how we go about the restaurant, my house, my friends, etc. if I do move back here.”
“So you’re moving back here?”
“Don’t get your hopes up yet. We need to see how things go for a little bit.” I nodded. Although the thought of losing her all over again seemed unbearable, I understood she had a life in Ibiza now and she couldn’t just throw it away like that. “I saw Bolton today,” I said quietly, without really meaning to say it.
“Oh really? What happened?”
“Well he promised he’d never touch anything again and that he understands what he’s done and all that. He asked if I can give him another chance. I said I’d think about it. I’m not really sure though.”
“Personally, I think you’re better off without him.”
“But I still like him. I can’t just block him out of my life completely. I seem to bump into him all the time.”
“Then get away from him,” Violet said simply.
“How do you mean?” At that moment dad walked in. He stood in the doorway, clearly none the wiser to what had just been said. I looked from Violet, to dad and back to Violet again. Violet looked me straight in the eye and said,

“Come to Ibiza with me.”