This Could Be All I've Waited For

Drinking with the guys is something that I had been doing since the first tour I went on with them. I can’t say that in all of the time that I had ever gotten used to it. I still got too drunk to think straight and sometimes it was on purpose. I’ll admit that I let myself get carried away when my emotions got to be too much for me to handle sober.

Tonight was no different. Almost everyone had gone to bed but Zack, Jack, Alex, and I were still tossing back shots and music was still blaring through the sound system. I am a sloppy drunk… or at least I was tonight. I let myself fall into Jack’s side and he welcomed me wrapping an arm around my waist.

“You smell good,” I mumbled my words slightly slurred. I closed my eyes and snuggled into his side completely unashamed and uncaring if anyone else found my actions to be crossing the friend boundary. Jack and I had danced all over it several times on this tour alone.

Jack’s chest rumbled with the sound of his laughter. He buried his face in my hair. “Showers can do a body good,” he said his words slurred as well. It was going to be one of those nights where we were both too drunk to care about anyone else.

“Ugh,” Zack groaned standing up from his spot on the couch, “you guys make me sick.” His words didn’t come out very clearly but we got the point. Jack and I both giggled and I took another long drink from whatever was in my cup. “I’m going to bed,” Zack said shaking his head and making his way to his bunk.

“I’m right behind ya,” Alex said turning the music down a bit before following Zack to the bunks.

“Party poopers!” Jack called after them laughing.

I sat up on the couch leaning away from Jack. I tilted my head back downing the rest of my drink and when I looked back to Jack he was smiling.

“What’s with you freak?” I asked.

He teasingly pulled on the ends of my hair. “Who are you calling a freak?” he demanded letting his fingers brush across the skin of my arm as they fell from my hair.

Something in the air shifted in that moment and I felt my stomach tighten. I knew something was going to happen but not something I would remember very clearly in the morning that’s for sure.

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I woke up the next morning in Jack’s bunk in pajamas that I didn’t remember putting on. I scolded my drunken self for choosing such an uncomfortably short shirt last night. Jack wasn’t in the bunk so I figured it must be way too late in the day for me to be still in bed.

I stumbled out of the bunk and walked into the front lounge stretching my armsover my head as I made my way to the poptarts. I honestly hate poptarts but I couldn’t even begin to think about putting milk into my system right now.

“You would think that I had learned my lesson last time,” I grumbled turning around to see a few pairs of eyes staring at the hem of my shirt. “What is with you guys?” I asked pulling my shirt down as far as it would go.

“What is on your stomach?” Alex asked curiously.

I looked down and lifted my shirt half expecting to find my belly button pierced by some crazy instance that happened last night. Instead I lifted my shirt to find sloppy scrawl that I recognized as Jack’s almost immediately.

Jack was the first one to start laughing. “Does that seriously say that you tried to get in her pants, man?” Zack asked eyeing the writing on my stomach.

My eyes grew wide as I realized that it was exactly what it said. I quickly pulled my shirt down so that it was now touching my pants. “What the hell happened last night?” I demanded turning on Jack.

He was still laughing, “Nothing happened,” Jack insisted.

“Yeah nothing at all Jack,” Alex said sarcastically, “He just tried to get down and dirty with you, Cade.”

I had to admit that my heart raced at the idea. How did that not happen?

Jack just shook his head, “Get dressed Cady,” he said smiling in a way that said he’d nearly gotten me naked… or maybe he had.

I tried to remember the events of last night as I slipped my cut off shorts up my legs. I threw on one of Jack’s endless BONER shirts knowing that he wouldn’t mind and found my Keds in my mess of a suitcase. When I came back to the front of the bus Jack waved for me to follow him. I was close on his heels hoping that this would lead to me getting some answers and some scenes from the previous night filled in.

When we’d made it half way to the stage I got frustrated, “Are you going to tell me what happened last night or not?” I demanded.

The smile that broke out across his face was priceless and I couldn’t shake the thought that I was behind that smile, or something I had done. I grumbled something that was incoherent to both of us and he chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me into his side as we walked. He pressed his lips to my temple as I continued to make noises of distaste for his silence.

“Kisses,” he mumbled against my skin, “Lots and lots of kisses.”
Butterflies fluttered through my stomach and my heart leapt at the thought of Jack’s lips against mine. Jack and I had made out while we were drunk before, but that was a long time ago when all I felt for him was a friendship love.

“That’s all I’m getting isn’t it?” I asked not at all ashamed of the disappointment dripping from my tone.

Jack chuckled and pulled me into a hug. He let his lips press into the side of my neck causing more butterflies to erupt through my stomach. I would have been elated, ten feet off the fucking ground, if I hadn’t heard her calling Jack’s name at that exact moment.

“Jacky!” Marie’s voice called from somewhere behind me.

Jack slowly straightened himself but didn’t let me go. I groaned and rest my head against his chest before realization hit me. “She calls you Jacky huh?” I asked in a teasing tone.

Jack glared down at me, “Shut up,” he complained.

“It’s cute,” I teased, “Jacky and Marie,” I detached myself enough that saying it didn’t hurt. Jack let go of me with a playful shove. I laughed and bumped my shoulder against his, “You guys sound like a fucking lesbian couple,” I said lowly as Marie caught up to us.

“Hey I wasn’t expecting you to be out here this early,” she said motioning towards the stage that wasn’t too far to our left.

Jack shrugged, “Cady and I decided to go for a walk,” he said nudging me with his elbow causing me to laugh which in turn caused him to laugh.

“Well don’t you seem peppy today,” she said giving me a look that I’m sure was supposed to be masked but it came across with full blown hatred.

I smiled and Jack and I exchanged looks before laughing again. I couldn’t help it Marie was standing right in front of me and I made out with Jack last night. There should be something telling me to stop being so smug my conscience must have been out of order today or something because I didn’t even care that I had made out with Jack and nearly slept with him while he was talking to someone else.

“We’ve actually gotta go,” Jack said pulling on my wrist after Marie invited him to come to breakfast with her.

I gave her a half wave before Jack jerked me around to follow him as he started running towards the stage.

Jack and I found a space out of the way back stage and laid ourselves out. We didn’t really carry a real conversation. Sometimes Jack would roll onto his side and mess with my hair as we talked about nothing or we would just stare at the ceiling in silence. It was comfortable; the way that it used to be before we both got complicated. I sighed at the thought.

“Jack?” I called his attention without looking at him.

“Babe?” he questioned acknowledging me.

I scrunched up my nose at the word, “Don’t call me that,” I whined.

I heard him chuckle and felt his eyes on my face waiting for me to get to my point but not pushing me to. “Can you make me a promise?” I asked after a while; still not looking at him.

“Absolutely,” he said sounding serious.

My lips twitched into an involuntary smile, “Promise me that no matter what we’ll always be like this,” I said.

Jack’s hand reached over to play with the bracelets on my wrist while my hands rested on my stomach. “What defines this?” he asked his eyes now trained on my bracelets instead of my face.

“Completely comfortable with each other,” I said, “I don’t want that to ever change.” I thought about it for a little while longer, “I don’t care where life takes either of us, as long as when we come back together things can be just like this,” I said closing my eyes and smiling at the thought.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked me clearly wanting to know my chain of thought. His fingers were now skimming across the skin of my inner arm giving up on my bracelets.

It only took me a second to realize why the thought came to mind in the first place and I answered him honestly, “Marie,” I said not opening my eyes.

“You think Marie would change things between you and I?” he asked sounding amused by the thought.

I felt myself frown and I nodded my head.

I felt his breath on my cheek before he pressed his lips to it softly, “You are a silly, silly girl, Cady,” he said chuckling.

“Am I?” I asked him opening my eyes to give him a doubtful look.

He smiled down at me and nodded his head. “Marie will never change things between you and I,” he promised, “The kind of thing that you and I have going for us,” he paused looking past me, “It’s something that doesn’t change.”

I smiled and it wasn’t just because he had promised that we’d never change but because he didn’t define us as best friends he didn’t really define it all but at this point anything that was beyond friendship was fine by me.