Find Your Own Way

Earlier that day he had gone to her grave. He went every year on this day, if he was home that is. If he wasn’t home he sent his wife and she gave the girl the flowers. A bouquet of blood red roses. One of each year that had passed.

He was happy that he was home this year. He had missed the last two on account of tour.

Kneeling down he laid the flowers in front of her headstone. “Hey,” he spoke standing back up. “I still can’t believe it’s been six years. God Max, you think I’d be better at this by now.” Biting his lip he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds that threatened to break apart suited his mood perfectly.

“I was depressed for so long, you know. And then your dad,” he trailed off and wiped at his eyes. “I was so close to joining you two up there,” he admitted.

Taking a deep breath he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Inhaling the toxins deep into his lungs he closed his eyes for a minute.

“Take care Max,” he whispered walking away. He couldn’t say anymore, his words were lost in his jumbled mind.

Stopping for a second once he reached the gates he looked through the cemetery and let a tear fall. Six years ago Max Sullivan committed suicide, three years ago, give a few months, Jimmy Sullivan died as well. Silently he hoped that together in the after life they were catching up on all the lost time.

Making his way through his house he went down into the basement and took down one of his acoustic guitars. This was his ritual. He’d bring the girl her flowers, say a few words, come home and hole himself down here and play his guitar until his wife came down.

Hearing her come down the stairs he started playing a slower melody and looked up when she entered the room.

“Hey baby,” she said softly going over and hugging him from behind. “Only a few more months.”

Smiling he nodded and looked up to her. He was excited beyond belief. He was going to be a father.

“The rest of the guys are coming over later for dinner,” she told him as she massaged his shoulders. “You wanted steak and potatoes right?”

“Yeah, we still have beer in the fridge right?” he asked getting up and putting away the guitar.

“Yep, but you might want to go to the store and get some more, you drank a lot of it yesterday,” she laughed and he nodded.

“Anything special you want?” He almost regretted asking the question as he stared at her pregnant belly.

“Ohh, I’ve been craving some lemons, ohh and some gravy,” she exclaimed.

Fighting the urge to gag he nodded. “Alright, I’ll be back soon then.”

Later that night they laid in bed together staring at the ceiling. Looking over to his wife he smiled. She may call herself fat right now but she was absolutely beautiful his eyes. And in a couple of months they would be welcoming home their little bundle of joy.

He had let Michelle pick out her name but he insisted that he got the choose the middle name. She had agreed and chosen the name Arianna.

Brian couldn’t wait to meet his little angel, Arianna Maxine.