What To Do When You're Watching Your Corpse Sink Into The Depths Of The Pacific

You know, I expected something like this to happen at prom. Maybe even that party I went to last week. I mean all the kids hated me, so there would at least be a reason- no matter how stupid that reason may have been. But at my boyfriend’s funeral? No way.

But apparently the one time I let my guard down, something just had to happen. And that is why I’m watching my cold, dead body sink down to the floor of the Pacific Ocean.

This whole thing was a disappointment. My death, that is. I always pictured going out on a chariot of fire, or maybe even saving someone else’s life and dying in the process. But no. And I had hoped to have a proper funeral where I was buried in a pretty black dress holding a lovely bouquet of red roses. But no.

I always knew that Devin’s brother disliked me, but did I actually think he would kidnap me from his own brother’s funeral, strangle me to death, and drop my body into the Pacific Ocean? Of course not.

And you know what else sucks?

I’m stuck. I have no idea where I’m supposed to go, or if I’m even supposed to go anywhere. Nobody published a book on what the fuck you’re to do with yourself once you die. I mean sure, I’ve seen those books written by nuns that are called things like How to Ensure You Arrive at the Golden Gates and other religious crap like that. But never have I once seen a book called What To Do When You’re Watching Your Corpse Sink Into The Depths Of The Pacific. Unfortunately for me, that means I’m probably gonna be stuck here a while.

I had decided to remain indifferent to religion once I turned 16. I focused on living well; it never once occurred to me that I would die someday. Give me a break. I was only 18 when I was murdered. But my parents were Catholic, and took me to church every Sunday. I suppose I did think a little about death then. I mean, the millions of sermons about heaven and hell eventually wiggle their way into your head. But I figured that if all of that was a load of bullcrap (which I had expected), I thought it would just…well…end. I didn’t think that I would remain on earth, unable to contact anyone who was living. Yeah, I tried that already. Nothing. It’s like I’m invisible…oh yeah, I forgot. I am invisible.

And to make everything 10 times worse, I at least expected to see my boyfriend now that I was dead too. So what if we were just 18? He was the love of my life. I met him when I was 16 at a writer’s meeting. I saw him sitting at the big, round table like everyone else, but he wasn’t talking to anyone. Since I had arrived last out of the group, I took the only seat remaining. You guessed it, the one to his right. Or maybe you guessed his left. Whatever. So there we sat in an awkward silence, waiting for the leader of the meeting to arrive.

“Hi,” he whispered. I looked up from my black messenger bag. Was he talking to me? He was looking down at his hands, so I couldn’t tell. I peered around the table to see if there was anyone else that he could be talking to, but they were all preoccupied with their own conversations.

“Hi. I’m Allyson, but you can call me Alyce,” I replied. He looked at me, seemingly shocked that I had responded.

“Uh…I’m Devin,” he stammered, peering up at me through his light brown fringe and extending his hand. I shook it, looking up into his eyes. My heart nearly stopped. They were a gorgeous shade of jade green with golden flecks around his pupil.

“I-It’s nice to meet you,” I whispered. He smiled shyly at me.

“Um…wouldyoumaybewanttogotothemovieswithmeorsomething?” he said quickly. I laughed slightly.

“Sorry?”

“Would you maybe want to go to the movies with me or something?” I grinned.

“Yeah…I’d really like that.”

“G-Great! Let me give you my-“

He never got to finish because the leader of the group finally walked in the room.

“Sorry I’m late, you guys. So let’s get started…”

I never got Devin’s number because I stood up and started walking out when the class ended without thinking. I was going to go back to him when I remembered, but I couldn’t find him in the swarm of people that were also leaving. Luckily for me, I met him again about a month later. During that month, I almost forgot about him, but I never forgot his beautiful green eyes. And the best day of my life was the day I ran into him in a bookstore. Literally.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” I exclaimed, bumping into a brown haired, teenage boy and making him drop all of his books. I couldn’t see his face because he was walking with his head down.

“Nice going, Alyce,” my best friend teased. I glared at her and bent down to help the boy collect his books that had scattered around us.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t looking where I was…Alyce?”

My gaze shot up. I knew that voice.

“D-Devin?” I stuttered. He smiled softly.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t get your number last time. I just got swept up in the crowd of people when we were leaving and I couldn’t find you…” he said in his quiet voice. I smiled back.

“No it’s fine…” I assured him. We stood in an awkward silence for a minute before he broke it.

“So um…how about that number?”

And we had hit it off from there.

“I miss you Dev…” I whispered, wishing that he would hear me.

“I miss you, Alyce…” I heard someone say softly. I could feel tears well up in my eyes. Goddamn my mind for playing tricks on me. He wouldn’t be down here with me; he would be watching his funeral. Or maybe he had made it on to somewhere else…assuming that there was a somewhere else.

“Alyce…” someone breathed from behind me. I spun around in the water facing the direction that the voice had come from.

“D-Dev?” I whispered in disbelief.

“Alyce!”

He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest, letting me bury my face into his neck.

“But…I’m dead…oh God no…please tell me you didn’t…” he trailed off. I shook my head.

“No, I didn’t Dev. I wouldn’t do that to you. Ben…he kind of…” I looked away, not wanting to tell him the truth. He grabbed my face gently, making me look at him.

“What. Did. Ben. Do.” He growled. I hid my face in his neck.

“He kind of strangled me and uh…dumped my body here,” I explained, pointing to my lifeless form that was now probably 10 feet away from the ocean floor.

“I’m going to kill him. I fucking swear it,” Devin snarled. I shook my head.

“First, you can’t cause we’re both dead. Second, I don’t want you to,” I whispered. He sighed and our feet touched the bottom of the ocean, along with my dead body.

“How are you even down here? Shouldn’t you be watching your funeral or something?” I asked curiously. He shrugged.

“I was thinking about all the things that I wish I had done before I died, and I thought about you…and then I was down here,” he explained. I frowned.

“What did you want to do?” I asked, confused. He blushed slightly, looking down at our feet.

“Alyce, I meant to ask you something, but I never got the chance…and now since we’re dead…or at least I think we’re dead…maybe I’m dreaming…I don’t think I’m dreaming though because this feels real, but for all I know…” he stuttered, tripping over his words.

“You can ask me anything, Dev,” I laughed.

“Will…will you marry me?” he asked, kneeling on the ocean floor and pulling a black velvet box out of his blazer pocket. I felt more tears well up in my eyes knowing that he had been buried with it. He opened it to reveal a sparkling, diamond ring.

I stood in front of him, speechless.

“Alyce?” he asked, hurt starting to creep into his eyes. I smiled, happy tears slipping out of my eyes and disappearing into the water around us.

“Yes. Yes, Dev, I’ll marry you.”