I Will Walk With You

I don’t know why, but my instincts told me to run from the enormous man walking towards me. I can’t lie, I'm terrified. This guy is three times my size and one hit from him would kill me for sure. I whipped my chair around and pushed my wheels as hard and as fast as I could. I heard the man curse under his breath as he started to chase me.

I looked back to see him only about fifteen feet away from me. My heart started to pound as the panic set in. He must want to hurt me if he's chasing me down. I turned onto the next street and to my disappointment; I ended up trying to pull myself up a steep hill. I didn’t really make it far before my arms gave out on me.

"Damn you’re fast." The man said as he ran up to me panting. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?" He asked when he caught his breath.

"Nothing." I said. I tried to hide the fear in my voice but I was unsuccessful. He looked at me with a raised brow and then looked at the bags hooked to my chair.

"Are you a run away or something?" He asked. I refrained from rolling my eyes at him.

"Why do you care?" I asked looking away from him.

"I care because a strange werewolf in a wheelchair entered my territory." He replied.

"You’re the Alpha?" I asked finally realizing why he is so large and why he has such an intimidating demeanor. He nodded his head.

"What are you doing here kid?" He asked. "Shouldn’t you have people, you know, watching you." I growled lowly at him not really caring that he's the Alpha here.

"I don’t need a baby sitter," I said through clenched teeth. "I can take care of myself." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Really?" He asked sarcastically. "Then why did you run?" I really didn’t know what to say. I know I keep saying I can take care but obviously all I can do is run away.

"Because where I came from, weak little wolves like me are a target." I mumbled lowly.

"Is that what happened to your head?" He asked sounding a bit concerned. I nodded a bit. "Where are you staying- what’s your name?"

"Devlin Parker." I said. He stuck his large hand out to shake mine.

"Eli Duncan," He replied as I shook his hand. Well really as his hand swallowed my own tiny one. "You can come stay at my pack house if you like." He offered.

"I don’t think that’s a good idea." I said as I thought back to how my own pack treated me. I may as well have been an infectious disease to them. Eli held his hands up defensively.

"It was just a suggestion," he said. "You'd be a lot safer there than you would be out on these streets. It’s getting dark and a person like you will definitely be a target in the dark." I hadn’t really thought about that. If I stay out here, there's no way I'll survive the night.

"Nobody's going to hurt me are they?" I asked looking down at my feet.

"Hell no," he said. "I won’t allow it. If anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way I promise they'll regret it. You'll be safe." I thought about it for a moment.

"I guess I could stay a day or two until I can find a place to go." I said quietly. He clapped his hands once; I jumped a bit, the sound of his skin connecting sounded like thunder. He chuckled at me.

"Well let’s get going," He said. "We should make it back just in time for dinner. My truck is parked not far from here." He turned around and started to walk back in the direction we had come from. As we strolled down the sidewalk, I couldn’t help but think about how afraid I was. I thought for sure that Eli was going to kill me.

I need to find a way to defend myself. I can’t keep being afraid of every little thing that comes my way. I'll be eighteen in nine months, I'll be an adult, but I won’t be a man if I don’t start standing up for myself. My dad was right, if I would have defended myself, I wouldn’t have gotten my ass kicked so much.

We stopped at an all-black, Chevy Silverado truck parked on the side of the road. I looked up at the huge car and wondered how I was going to get in. Eli walked around to the driver’s side and opened his door. I sat on the sidewalk still trying to figure this out. I'm used to cars built for me; I've never really been in a regular car. They've all been altered to fit my needs.

"Shit, sorry dude." Eli said as he walked back around to my side of the car. He froze up for a minute before he reached for the door. "May I?" He asked hesitantly. I nodded my head. At least he asked and didn’t just snatch me up like everyone else.

He opened up the door and lifted me gently into the car. He removed my bags from the back of my chair and tossed them in the bed of the truck. When he got my chair situated he came and hopped in the truck.

He cranks up and pulled out off of the side of the road. "The pack house is just couple miles from here," He said looking over at me. "I'll get you a room set up when we get there. Someone will have to help you up the steps though."

"Could you do it?" I asked hesitantly. I guess I'd rather have him help me than anyone else. He doesn’t give me that look everyone else gives me. Hell, I even like the fact that he forgot I couldn’t get in this truck on my own. He makes me feel like a regular person.

"Sure." He said shrugging. "So," He started as he looked back at the road. "Have you found your mate yet?" I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm not really looking for her." I admitted.

"Why is that?" He asked as he glanced at me curiously.

"I don’t want to be anyone's responsibility." I said honestly. "Growing up, my parents and my little sister did everything for me. I don’t want my mate to be my care taker and I don’t want her to be mated to a person like me. I can’t defend her or do anything I should be able to do for her."

"You'll be able to love her." He retorted.

"Of course I'll be able to love her but she won’t be able to love me." I said quietly. "I can’t give her the things she deserves and she'll hate me for it."

"She'll hate you if you reject her," He added seriously. "That’s the worst thing you could ever do to her." I sighed and put my face in my hands.

"I'm not rejecting her," I mumbled. "I'm rejecting myself." I heard him sigh as he shook his head at me. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I know my mate won’t want me. She'll look down on me like every other girl has since I can remember.

I just don’t want to disappoint her. She'll expect me to be big and strong like I was supposed to be. I can’t even shift for Christ sake. Before I turned sixteen, I would pray that when I turned of age my shift would fix me. I would have been happy if my legs only worked in wolf form.

Nothing went how I had hoped. I'm basically a human. Nothing about me screams werewolf. When you look at me, you think weak, frail, small, defenseless, and most of all, handicapped.

"We're here." Eli announced as he turned onto a dirt road in the middle of a thick forest of trees. I looked ahead of us as a two story, brick mansion came into view. We have a pack house back home but it doesn’t even compare to this. My sister and I weren’t allowed to stay at the pack house, my mom wanted to keep us as close to her as possible.

"Wow." I whispered.

"Nice, huh?" Eli asked smiling over at me. I nodded my head and continued to gaze at the large house. I averted my eyes away from the house when a group of teenage boys came stalking out of the doors. "Everything’s going to be fine, Devlin."

He jumped out of the car as the boys approached. I could hear them talking lowly. "Who's the little dude?" A tall, brown hair boy asked as he looked up at me. The look he gave me said that he meant trouble. Eli growled and grabbed the boy by the front of his shirt.

"If you touch him," He snarled. "I'll kill you." Even though he wasn’t talking to me, I jumped at his tone. The boy nodded his head rapidly and Eli released him. "If anyone in this pack does anything to upset him, they'll have their asses handed to them. He's been through enough."

He walked around and grabbed my bags out of the back and tossed them to a shorted, yet stockier blond haired boy. "Get one of the girls to set him up a room." He ordered. All of the boys nodded and vanished back into the house.

He brought my chair around and opened my door. "I told you everything would be ok." He said as he lifted me out of the car.

"Thanks." I said lowly. He walked towards the front of the house as I followed slowly behind him.

"New member?" A tall red head girl asked as she walked out of the front door. I looked down at the grass to keep from looking at her.

"Yup," Eli said. "This is Devlin Parker, Devlin, this is Samantha Vicks." I saw a small pale hand come into view.

"It’s nice to meet you, Devlin." She said. I hesitantly grabbed her hand and shook it quickly. She giggled and turned to Eli. "Where'd you find this cutie?" She asked. My cheeks got hot for the first time ever; I've never been called cute by anyone but my mom.

"Umm, well-" Eli said hesitantly. He looked over at me like he needed my help explaining.

"I ran away." I said loud enough for only her and Eli to hear. I saw her tense up but then she shrugged and smiled at me.

"Well you'll love it here." She said cheerfully. "Come on; let me show you to your room." She paused and looked at my chair. "Alpha?" She said over her shoulder.

"Yea Sam?" He replied looking up from his phone.

"Should I call and have a lift installed for his chair?" She asked. Eli shrugged his shoulders.

"I suppose," He started then he looked down at me. "I think you should ask Devlin what he would like you to do." She turned and looked at me a bit confused and then it seemed as if she realized why I had run away.

"Is it ok with you, Devlin?" She asked smiling lightly. I nodded my head.

"Yes, thank you." I still haven’t really looked at her. I only look from the chin down, I don’t want to risk making eye contact and finding out she's my mate. I'm not looking any women in the eye, I can’t risk it.

Eli helped me up the stairs and Samantha opened the door for me. She walked in first but she let me the door fall against the side of my chair. This is how I prefer it to be done, I hate it when someone opens the door for me and they put themselves in the way. The always make you go under them or before them.

I could hear a few people talking whispering from a room to my left. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I had a feeling it was about me. I kept my head low; this is one of the worst parts about being this way. That and when people meet you, some automatically yell just because they think if you’re in a wheelchair your deaf.

Eli let out a low growl. All talking seemed to seize and there was nothing but complete silence from everyone except Samantha. She's standing next to me giggling at her intimidated pack mates. "Come on," Sam laughed and tapped my shoulder. "We'll let him do his Alpha bit."

I followed her down the hallway and to the steps. "Eli was supposed to help me up." I said quietly.

"Umm," She started. "I don’t mind, if you don’t." She looks as if she regretted the suggestion. I'm not trying to put off as every little thing is going to offend me.

"Sure." I said quietly. I've never been a talkative person with anyone but my sister. I would tell her everything. Samantha actually reminds me of her. They look nothing alike but they have that same bubbly attitude, and she's sweet. I can tell she's a loving and gentle person.

She lifted me up from my chair and walked up the stairs. "I'll bring that up after I get you settled in." She said. I nodded my head and wrapped my arms more securely around her neck. I know now that she's not my mate because I didn’t get the sparks and pleasurable burning feeling when she touched me. Maybe I don’t even have a mate, I mean I can’t do anything else werewolf like.

It’s a little different from the books written about us. The female wolf will only know if she's found her mate if she makes eye contact. We can know from touch even if we haven’t seen their eyes yet. I've always strayed away from the touch of other women. This is the first girl who I've allowed to touch me other than family in a very long time.

The last girl was the only other friend I ever had. Her name was Logan; we met in the park one day when my mom took me out for a walk when I was seven. The kids were playing baseball and I wanted to play too.

I remember all of other kids telling me I couldn’t play because of my chair. Actually, their exact words were, "Get out of here you retard, how are you going to play baseball if you can’t even walk." Logan happened to be playing also and she punched the kid until he let me play.

She said she didn’t do it because I'm like this, She said I'm still a person and I should be treated like everyone else. She ended up making our parents exchange numbers and we were friends for five years. She died when we were twelve, that’s really why I tried to kill myself the first time.

She wasn’t like me, she couldn’t survive a car crash and come home and rest for a few hours until her wounds healed. She was a human and she didn’t stand a chance. Logan was the only person who treated me normal. She made me feel like a normal person. Other than Leah and my mom, she was the only girl I ever loved.

"Wow you’re really a deep thinker." Samantha laughed. I shook my head the thoughts from my head.

"What?" I said still not looking her in the eye. I know I can now but I just don’t know how. I haven’t even made eye contact with Eli yet.

"We've been standing in your room for like three minutes." She laughed. I looked around and saw that we really were standing in a large bedroom with white floors and light blue walls.

There is a bed sitting up on a higher piece of flooring covered in a blue comforter. Luckily I can get to the bed with my chair, there’s a makeshift ramp against the side of the risen floor.

"Sorry," I said finally. "I was thinking about someone." She walked up the ramp and placed me on the bed.

"It’s cool." She said. She stood beside my bed for a few moments. "Well I'll go grab your chair and get you some pizza if you like. Eli likes to keep dinner simple so we eat a lot of take out. The boys don’t mind but sometimes we girls get tired of fast food and we'll cook." I nodded my head slightly.

"Thank you." I whispered quietly. She sat down on the bed and put her hand on my leg. I couldn’t feel it but I saw it.

"You can look at me you know." She said quietly. I nodded my head. "Why won’t you then?" She asked curiously.

"I'm not used to being women, growing up the only female attention I got were from my mom and sister." I admitted. I don’t know why I told her that, I sort of just slipped out.

"Well, all the girls here are sweet and I know they'll love you." She said with confidence. I finally got the nerve to look her in the face. I lifted my head slowly and my eyes met a pair of bright green ones lined in a light coat of eyeliner.

Her eyes really go beautifully with her bright red hair. She looks like a fairy without wings. Her face is delicate and soft and she has naturally rosy cheeks that match her rosy lips. I found myself staring at her for a moment. I know she's not my mate but so far, she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

She giggled at me and stood up. "I'll be back in a few," She said. "The remotes on the bed if you need anything just holler." I nodded my head and actually smiled for the first time in a long time.

When she left I actually took the time to look around the room. The back wall of the room is a huge mirror. The bathroom is to the left of me, I can see a huge bathtub through the reflection of the mirror. I sighed at the thought of a long, hot, bubble bath. I don’t care if I sound like a girl. When you have a rough day like I did today, a bubble bath is the remedy.

There is a large flat screen TV and gaming system against the wall in front of me and a walk in closet next to it. I can see my bags stacked neatly inside. There is a wooden desk topped with a radio and laptop against the wall. Overall the room is amazing. I wonder which one of the girls chose it for me. Whoever she is, she did a pretty good job. The color makes me feel like I'm surrounded by the blue sky, I actually feel pretty good.

"Hey." I heard someone say from the door. I glanced over and saw a pair of men’s pants and black boots. "My sister, Sam, wanted me to drop this by for you." He brought my chair to the side of the bed.

"Thanks." I said lowly. I am more intimidated by males than females. Yes a lot of females have made me feel bad about myself and called me names but male wolves have hurt me physically.

"I'm Alexander but you can call me Alex." He stuck his hand out to shake mine just as Sam had. I shook it even quicker than I shook his sisters.

"Devlin." I replied He stood there for a moment as if he expected me to say more.

"Well, if you ever want to hang out, my room is two doors down," He said. "I have some pretty good music and stuff if you want to check out." I noticed as he walked out of the room that he has a strange limp, one of his legs seemed to be longer than the other.

Not two minutes after Alex left, Sam popped back in with the plate of food she promised. "I see Alex got your chair to you safely." She said as she skipped to the bed. "I think you'll like him, he's really fun."

"He's nice," I admitted. "He said I could come check out his music." She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"He basically worships his music." I laughed lightly. I'm the same way about music. It's calming and you can lose yourself in it.

"Was that a laugh?" Sam asked as she nudged me. My cheeks turned flame red again. She laughed once again and stood up.

"Well I'll let you enjoy your dinner," She said. "My room is next to my brothers." Before she could leave, I had a question to ask her.

"Hey, Sam?" I said before she closed the door. She stuck her head back in and looked at me.

"Who chose my room?" I asked curiously. "I really like it."

"Frankie Waters," She replied. "She has really good taste. She's really smart too, she's sixteen and she's already a freshman in college."

"Me too," I admitted. "My mom wouldn’t let me go to public school so I stayed home all day studying. I took a few tests and passed with flying colors so my mom enrolled me in online college classes." Sam's face held a look of amazement.

"You two should totally meet!" She exclaimed. "You could like- exchange notes or something." She laughed. I shook my head hesitantly.

"I don’t think that’s a good idea." I said quietly. She stepped back in the room and closed the door.

"Why not?" She asked giving me a look of confusion.

"I- I haven’t found my mate yet." I mumbled. "I'm not really trying to bump into her." She came and sat next to me.

"You’re mate will love you," She said. "My brother’s mate loves him and he's an amputee." So that's why he has the limp. He still has it better and easier than me though.

"But he isn’t stuck on his ass all day." I said looking up at her. "He can move around when he wants and he doesn’t need assistance. I'm so messed up I can’t even shift." Sam's face went sad.

"What are you so worried about?" She whispered.

"I'm not good enough for any girl," I said. "I'm a disappointment." She put her hand against my cheek and I looked up to meet her eyes.

"I would be lucky to have a mate like you," She said. "I wouldn’t find you embarrassing or disappointing. You would be a strong mate because you’re different. If you were my mate, I would love you each and every day for who you are inside and out."

I didn’t think I would ever hear anyone speak to or about me like that. I don’t even know what to say after that, I'm completely stunned by her words. "Now eat and don’t worry about anything, just be you. Don’t be afraid of anything. If someone messes with you and you can’t fight them back physically, fight them back verbally. Bring out your inner wolf; give him control if you have to."

I nodded my head as I took her advice into consideration. I've never been the type to yell or scream at the people after me, maybe if I brought some of my inner anger out, I wouldn’t be targeted as much. "Thank you, Sam." I said looking into her eyes.

She smiled and hugged me quickly. "You’re welcome, Devlin." She said. "You deserve to live a regular life, I'm going to try and help you do that if you'll let me." She gave me a hopeful look and I knew I couldn’t deny her.

"I think that would be great," I admitted. "I do need a little help with my inner self if I'm going to be on my own." She smiled brightly as excitement took over her.

"Well I'll see you later,” She said as she jumped up. "If you need me you know where I am, feel free to explore if you feel comfortable enough." I nodded my head and she closed the door. While I ate, I thought about what Sam had just said.

Bring out my inner wolf; I don’t know how to do that. It seems like he's been pretty much on vacation my entire life. I mean I can feel him there but he never says anything or even really show's that he even exists. It’s like he's locked up and there's no way to free him.

For the first time ever, I’m going to take advice from a stranger. Sam is an amazing person. The last person I met like her was Logan. I feel like I can trust her just as much as I trust my sister and my mom. I’m actually glad she wants to help me; she has experience with people similar to me, i.e. Alex.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do about my fear of finding my mate. I mean I would love to find my mate and live happily ever after but that’s just not possible. I’m too much to deal with and I don’t want her to feel pressured into taking care of me. Even if she does love me, I don’t want her to drop everything to run to my aid. I’d want her to be happy, and the only way she’ll be happy is if she never knows I exist.