Wanted You More

Nicole:

I always knew since I was a little girl that I was going to be a mom someday. I loved to play with baby dolls, but since I was the youngest in my family, that was the closest I ever got to helping with any younger brothers or sisters. But I did help with a few baby cousins. When I was younger I always thought about who I would marry and start a family with, spend the rest of my life with. I never thought I would find someone who could be that guy when I was only sixteen. But, Beau seemed like that guy. He was smart, funny, athletic. People even said he could make it to the NHL when he was older. We have been together for a year now and I know that he and I would be together for a long time, but now I am sure we will because I'm pregnant. I found out I was pregnant in January, but I haven't told Beau yet. I didn't want to bring up any big news so close to the end of our junior year.

It's June now and the only people that know are my parents and a few of my closest friends. But I have talked to my parents and I agreed with them that I need to tell him. So today I am going to tell him. I woke up this afternoon and was nervous. I was unsure of how to really tell him. I grabbed my phone when I went downstairs and called him. "Hello?" "Hey Beau. Um, can you come over?" "Yeah, is something wrong?" "No. I just need to talk to you." "That doesn't sound good." "Trust me it's not bad." "Okay? I will be over in like ten minutes." "Okay, love you bye." I sat on the couch and waited for Beau to get here. I kept thinking of how to exactly tell him. I didn't want to just say it right away, but I didn't want to wait too long to tell him. There was a knock at the door and Beau came inside. "Hey." He walked over and gave me a kiss and sat down. "Hey." "So what did you want to talk about?" "Okay. Um, can you remember January?" "The month? Yeah, why?" "Well, I probably should have told you sooner, but. Can you think of anything that happened in January that I might have to talk to you about?"

He looked confused and thought about for a bit. Then it suddenly hit him, he looked at me a bit unsure. "Nicole, are, are you pregnant?" I shook my head yes. "You are gonna be a dad. Isn't that great?" I grabbed his hands and smiled. He quickly snatched his hands back and stood up. "Just wait a minute. You have known since January?" "Yeah." "And you didn't think to tell me as soon as you knew?" "Beau, I didn't know how to tell you. It took me awhile to tell my parents." "You still should have told me when you found out, not five months later." "I thought you would be happy about this. Happy about possibly having a baby boy that you can teach to skate and play hockey?" "Nicole. We aren't ready to do this. We are just kids, we can't raise a kid." "Maybe you aren't ready, but I am." "Look, I would love to raise a kid with you, but maybe somewhere down the road, not while we are still in high school." "What are you saying? You want me to give the child up for adoption? I couldn't do that Beau, I couldn't give my child away." "I don't think I could give my kid to strangers either, but a baby just doesn't fit into my plan for my senior year."

"You think it fits into my plan? It doesn't, but guess what, I am going to change my plan and fit the baby into it. So you know what Beau, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You don't have to buy anything, change diapers, give the baby bottles in the middle of the night. You can go on and follow your plan like this never happened and I will take care of the baby." "Nicole, it's not that I don't want to have a kid with you, I just don't think I am ready." "That's fine. I'm going to make you do it if you aren't ready. Call me when you think you are ready to raise a kid." "Nicole." "I think you should go now." "Nicole I-" "Beau, just leave." He shook his head and left. He didn't seem mad, but he understood. I decided to call my friend Chelsea and tell her about my talk with Beau. "Hello?" "Hey, um do you think you get a few of the girls to come over and we could have a girls night?" "Sure. Dinner?" "Yeah I could use some dinner." "Okay, we will be over in like fifteen minutes." "Okay bye."

A few minutes after Beau left my mom was home from work. "Hey honey." "Hi mom." "So how was the talk with Beau?" "Not so good." "He wasn't too happy I take it." "I basically told him, continue on with your life like I never told you I was pregnant and I will take care of the kid. When you are ready to take care of a child, call me." "Well, at least you made the decision you felt was right." "I know, but it's going to be hard not having him to help out." "But, you are being very mature about the whole situation and it's going to be hard, having a baby while you are in high school isn't easy. But you are staying in school while you raise a child and now you are going to be doing it without the babies father. I know you are upset now, but once the baby is here you won't stop smiling." "Well, I will once I have to wake up early in the morning cause the baby is crying, but I know what you mean." "So what are you doing tonight?"

"Chelsea and a few of the girls are coming over and were gonna have dinner and like a movie night or something in the basement." "Okay, well hope you have fun and get Beau off your mind." "Thanks mom." I gave her a hug and went to watch tv in the living room while I waited for my friends to come over. Beau's reaction wasn't exactly what I expected or wanted to hear, but I'm glad I found out that he isn't ready to be a father before the baby got here. I just hope things won't be too hard without him around to help.