Control

well... it maybe sounds a little scarry but everything started to get better a very rain- and stormfull night. Me and my dogs were all scared of if there would come thunder so we were all layinging in my bed comforting each other.
I thought about Andy. when we were together and there was thunder outside he always comforted me, hugged me, and told me that everything would be okay. (to be honest I'm fucking scared of thunder) that maed me cry. I missed him. More than I would admit to the other guys. I could imagine what they would do. CC would flip out and Jake would try to calm him down. Jinxx would flip out and yell like crazy about why I didn't told them that before... had to let out a sigh.
just as I was laying in my bed I heard a knock on the door.
I got up to see who it was. I went to the hallway and opened the door.
I swear I got a shock whe I saw him standing there.
"a-A-A..." I couldn't get his name over my lips... it was so long time. he hadn't been here for months!
"Ashley... help me..." he whispered half way crying.
I hugged him tight. "whatever you want..." I whispered in his ear.
"can I sleep with you? he whispered as he hugged me back.
I smiles. "Of course you can" I said letting go of him and leaded him into the apartment.

we went to my bedroom and laid in my bed. Tokyo and Killer left to the livingroom to sleep there. they still had each other.
"Andy?" I whispered in the darkness.
"yes?" he asked.
"why have you ignored me for so long and now finaly comes and shows me that we still have something together?" I asked. I was a little annoyed about that. did he thought that he could play with me like that? If yes, he was really REALLY wrong.
"It was Juliet..." he begon.
"what has she done?" I asked.
he didn't said anything. he just started to cry.
*Oh Andy!" I hugged him tight.
Then he finaly replied. "she... I don't know what she's doing but... she controls me somethimes. I've started to fight against her and now I ran away from her to see you"
"Oh Andy" I said again and hugged him tight... this time he didn't hugged me back.
I looked up at his face. it seamed cold.
"Andy?..." I asked softly
"go away!" he pushed me away from him and I felt sad. What was this about?
"Andy I-" I tried to hug him again. I wanted to tell him that I would just leave him alone if he wanted me to do that, but again he pushed me away.
"shut up whore!" he almost yelled. "and leave me alone"
I started crying. I sat up and hugged my knees tight. he hurted me when he talked like that. when I said I was a whore he always said that I was wrong... but of course that was before Juliet.
"Ashley?" I felt Andy's hand on my arm. I didn't replied. I just cried all my pain out."Ashley I'm so sorry" he whispered.
"how can you be?" I looked up, still crying.
"Juliet took the control over me. I'm so sorry" now he started crying too.
I dicited to hug him. it seamed like it was the right thing to do. I just hoped he won't push me away again.
he didn't. he just hugged me back and we both cried, hugging each other. I'm serious when I say. I can never live without him.
"we needs help" I whispered, letting go of him.
He nodded. "but who can help us?" he asked.
"Jake, Jinxx, CC..." I stopped. I knew who we needed. even thought we didn't liked each other. even thought he'd left Andy a while ago because of Juliet. "Matt" I said.
"Ash you don't like him. he don't like you, he's gonna kill you if he see you near his house" Andy was worried I could tell.
"Andy he's the most important. we really needs him." I said and took Andy's hand.
"but he hates you, and he hates me too" Andy almost cried.
I sighed. "we still needs him. no matter who he hates" I said.
Andy nodded and I smiled up at him. then he fell down. his head on the pillow and his face full of pain.
"GO AWAY!" he screamed.
"Andy I'll not" I said and took his hand.
he showed me off and hitted me. "FUCK OFF I HATE YOU!" he screamed.
I couldn't say anything. my eyes were full of tears. He hated me? but... I couldn't think anyore. my heart started to break and I started crying of pain. "Andy... please..." I whispered.
"NO PLEASE ASHLEY PURDY!" he screamed. "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE!"
"FINE!" I screamed.
"no go away..." Andy mumbled down his chest.
I stopped and looked at him. he was yelling before and now he was like... I didn't knew the word to use. silent? a kind of that.
"leave me alone" he whispered.
I guess he was talking to me so I left to the bathroom and found a small box with razors.
"ASHLEY!" I heard him call from the bedroom.
why did he wanted to know where I was. no matter what, I answered.
"I'm in here!" I replied pulling out the razor and pressing it to my skin.
he stormed out towards me.
"NO ASHLEY!" he screamed and started crying. "I'm sorry for what I said. I'm really fucking sorry. I don't ment to..."
"how can I trust you?" my voice broke in the mittle of the senten.
"just try..." Andy whispered. "I love you I promise. it was Juliet"
"you told us not to blame her a shit and now you do it to yourself" I said annoyed.
"I know..." he sighed. "I was so stupid. but she controled me... try to understand... try to trust me"
I couldn't leave him like that. I sighed and said "okay I'll help you"
he smiled at me. "thanks"
we hugged each other and kissed. I smiled. I'd misssed that more than anything. my Andy was back in my arms... or I was back in his, and I just loved it.
"we have todo something" I reminded him.
"what?" he asked.
"we're gonna talk to Matt" I said.
"can't we do that tomorrow?" he asked and placed his hand on my cheek. I smiled.
"okay you win. we does it as the first thing tomorrow" I promised him.
then we went to bed.