Don't Let This Memory Fade Away

I jumped out of bed as soon as I heard the loud beeping begin. My heart had leaped from my chest to my throat in a matter of seconds, all because of the ridiculous alarm clock Marian had bought for me the night before. This wonderful contraption jumps off your dresser and rolls around your room until you catch it to shut it off. Smart, but so, so evil.

Two falls and a stubbed toe later, I finally caught the clock. I ripped the batteries out and threw it across the room. “Fuck that.” I mumbled and turned on my light.

Edward was curled up on the foot of my bed, sound asleep. I smiled and crept around my room to get ready, careful not to wake him. After I had finished, I went downstairs and grabbed an apple from the kitchen. I didn’t have time to eat an actual breakfast. I took a bite and walked out the door.

The bus was just pulling up as I arrived at the bus stop. I got on and took my usual seat next to Alex.

It had been a week since he kissed me and boy was I kicking myself in the ass for allowing him to do so ever since. Jack was furious when he found out, raging with jealousy. I also couldn’t believe that I had given into temptation so easily.

“Hey” he said as he leaned in for a kiss, but I stopped him.

“Alex, stop.”

He tossed his head back and let out a grunt. “Seriously, Farah? Still? Why won’t you kiss me again?”

“Stop being a baby. And because I don’t want to.”

“Bull fucking shit.”

“I don’t want to cause problems now shut your mouth, Alexander.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t call Edward Eddie.”

He cracked a small smile and noticing his falter, he erased it from his face.

Though I hadn’t allowed him to kiss me since our first and only time, I had been going back to his house after band practice daily. I truly did want to get to know Alex better, and hopefully after doing so I would know if I wanted to be with him. I may know a lot about him from what I have seen in interviews and other such things, but I hadn’t had the opportunity to get to know the real him; the one that doesn’t show when the cameras are on.

During the times I had been going back to Alex’s, I had also started to get to know Daniel. He was probably one of the nicest kids you would ever have the pleasure of meeting. Always polite, always respectful. He was careful with what he said, not wanting to upset anyone. But, as I had seen before, he was not all there. He wasn’t in one piece. I felt like I was the only one who could see it, and maybe this was because I already knew his fate.

We arrived at school, Alex reaching for my hand as we stepped off the bus. I pulled away, naturally. Some people shot us a curious glance as they passed by, but after a week of people peeking, glancing, and just plain staring, I was getting used to it.

Once we got to my locker, Alex pressed his back against it, not allowing me to get through.

“I need to get in there.” I said as I attempted to move him out of the way. He just smiled at my weak attempt.

“Alex…” I said, still trying to move him.

“What’s the magic word?” he asked.

“Please?”

He laughed “Well, it’s really not a word. More of an action.”

“Shut up and move, Gaskarth.”

He clenched his teeth and rolled out of the way. /Wow is he hot when he’s angry./

“See you later, I guess.” He mumbled and walked away, not waiting for a reply.

I heard a laugh from behind me. I turned to see a girl with long chestnut colored hair standing before me. She was very skinny; petite all around. I immediately recognized her.

“Look what we have here, Alex Gaskarth’s new play thing.” She cocked her head to the side, examining me.

“Excuse me?”

“He’s just going to use you to get what he wants, hun. He’ll come running back to me like he always does once he’s done with you.”

“He kissed me, once, and we haven’t since. I don’t know who you think you are, or who you think I am for that matter, but you have it all wrong. Now please, little miss thing, do yourself a favor and stay out of my business.”

“Oh look at you, all mature and what-not.” She mocked. “Just another joke.”

My jaw dropped as I clenched my fists to my side. I took a step forward, ready to swing, when I felt a set of hands on my shoulders.

“Farah, no. Lisa, fuck off, honestly.”

The hands pulled me back into a warm, skinny, comfy embrace. I looked up through tear filled eyes to see Jack glaring at Lisa. He held me tighter.

“Whatever.” She said and tossed her hair over her shoulder, walking in the opposite direction.

Jack turned me to face him, holding me out at arm’s length. “You okay, sweetie?

I cracked a smile as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Yeah, I’m fine, sugar plum.”

*************

“Alright, last song everyone.” Jack said.

Today at practice, it wasn’t just me like it had been for most of the days. Kara, Holly, Matt, and Derek were all there. As much as I liked them all, I didn’t really like having them at practice. I enjoyed it more when it was just All Time Low and I.

“My heart is on my sleeve
Wear it like a bruise or black eye
My badge, my witness
That means that I believed
Every single lie you said

Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you

But there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

She took me down and said,
‘Boys like you are over-”

Just then, Alex stopped playing as he stared at the bottom of the basement stairs.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I miss watching you guys practice.” I heard a familiar high-pitched voice reply.

I turned around to see Lisa standing there, smiling at Alex.

“Are you kidding me.” I said, monotonous.

“Oh, look, it’s the new whore!” she shouted.

“You seriously have the maturity level of a chicken nugget. Honestly.”

“Doesn’t change what you are, hun.” She replied smugly.

“Because you know me so well, right?”

“Yes, I do in fact. Because all the girls he’s got with before running back to me are all the same. You’re just another notch in his bed post.”

“Alex and I are just friends, that’s it.” My voice was louder, but trembling with adrenaline. “I’m not one for casual flings, I’m in it for the long run or that’s it. Please, just shut up and leave now before I do something I regret.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Lisa, leave. Now.” Alex ordered.

She shot him a look of resentment, and then turned her gaze back to me. “Later, slut.”

I was shaking with anger at this point. I felt Jack’s soft hands on my face. “Farah, look at me.” He turned my face to look him in the eye, proceeding to press his forehead to mine. “You’re perfect, ignore her. She’s jealous of you.”

I smiled and bit my lip at his sincerity. He was so sweet to me.

“Alright. Practice over. We’re leaving. Come on Farah.” Alex said as he took my arm and pulled me away from Jack and up the stairs.

“Ow, Alex, loosen up on the grip.” I whimpered, but he didn’t listen. He pulled me outside and looked into my eyes.

“Don’t do that again.” was all he said.

“Do what?” I asked, confused.

“Talk to her like that. Or look at Jack that way.”

“For starters, I thought I handled that situation pretty damn well. She was the one dealing the insults, not me. How dare you. And two, I hate to break it to you, but we are not together, we’re just friends, and I can look at anyone I want any way I want to.”

“Shut up Farah.” He said.

“You are the biggest joke I have /ever/ met. Fuck yourself.” I turned on my heel and crossed my arms. I headed down the street.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you.” I called back.

Though it was warm earlier in the day, the wind had picked up and it had become a bit chilly. I shivered slightly and moved my hands up and down my arms in a sad attempt to keep myself warm. It was going to be a long walk home.

“Farah! Farah!”

I turned around. It was Jack, of course.

“Hey Jack.” I said as he caught up with me.

“What happened?” he asked, taking off his sweatshirt and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“Thanks,” I whispered and then began to tell him what happened. Before I finished, I started to cry.

He pulled me in for a big hug. “Awe, Farah, it’s okay.”

“But why is he defending her instead of me? What did I do wrong?”

“I don’t know. He’s just a fu.cking idiot sometimes. But come on, I’ll walk you home.”

**********

I lay in my room, crying into Jack’s chest with Edward lying next to us.

“Shh.” Jack whispered as he stroked my hair.

It was sort of weird, laying here with Jack. And I’m surprised Elliot let him come up here. Well, not really, because Jack was really harmless. Not only that, but he was also a really good friend.

My crying slowed, and soon I wasn’t crying anymore, just sniffling.

“Hey, Farah?” Jack asked.

“Mhm?”

“Could I kiss you?”

This made me smile. “No, Jack. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“No one will have to know... I know I’m not the most good looking guy so I get it if you don’t want people to know.” I heard the pleading in his voice.

“Jack, you are very attractive.” And I meant it. “It’s just, I don’t know…”

“Kiss me.” He whispered.

I looked up at him and gave in. I felt so bad, after all he had done for me today, it wouldn’t be fair to not give him the one thing that he wanted.

I pecked him on the lips, and at first, he didn’t let me pull away. I went with it for a little while, but slowly pulled back.

“Thanks Farah.” He said.

“No, Jack, thank you.”

We stayed like that, curled up together for the rest of the night; I fell asleep in the safety of Jack Barakat’s arms.