Take My Heart

Kallie stood in front of the large shelf in the store, her entire face and neck flushed red. Her eyes glanced over the various products, a debate going on in her mind as to which option would be the best for her to buy. She shifted on her feet in thought until she noticed a cart turning into the aisle. Quickly, she snatched the closest box and hurried out of the section, carrying the package closely by her side, hoping that it was mostly hidden from others’ eyes.

She huffed out a breath as she made her way to the only available lane that was open, seeing there were two other customers before her. Glancing at their carts, she was thankful that both people didn’t have too much to buy. It wasn’t until she heard a familiar voice speaking that her head snapped up, her orbs resting on the face of a boy she knew from her neighborhood.

Her heart began racing and she cursed her mother for not remembering to purchase the necessity when she had been at the store only hours before. Kallie swallowed the lump in her throat as the person in front of her moved forward, causing her to advance in the line as well. She bit down harshly on her bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to suddenly become invisible. If she hadn’t needed the product so badly, she would have left the box right there in the aisle and took off.

When it came time for her to reach the register, she sheepishly placed the package on the belt, followed by a king sized bar of Snickers. She’d been craving chocolate all day and although she knew the two items she had on the belt were such a cliché to buy, she needed them both.

“Hey, Kallie,” Matt smiled at her, two perfect dimples appearing on his face.

“Hi, Matt,” she greeted in return, although her voice was much softer. She watched as he reached for the box that was causing her such embarrassment and almost winced when his hands came into contact with it.

“Well … I guess I know why you’re blushing like hell right about now,” Matt teased, scanning the box of tampons before placing them into a plastic bag.

Kallie felt as if her entire face was on fire. “Shut up,” she mumbled, not daring to meet eyes with him.

Matt gave a laugh. “You’re adorable when you’re blushing.”

She rolled her eyes, pulling a ten dollar bill from her pocket. “Really, Matt, just shut up. I’m embarrassed enough already as it is.”

He smiled as he tendered the money, giving her back the correct change. When she went to reach for the bag, Matt stopped her by gently placing his hand over hers. “Kallie?” Too enthralled by the feeling of his skin on hers, she merely looked up at him in response. “Are you doing anything Friday?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

Matt licked over his lips, his shoulders seeming to relax. “Go on a date with me?”

His questioned completely shocked her. Although she’d known Matt from having lived in the same neighborhood and through mutual friends, she’d never guessed that he’d have any real interest in her. Kallie considered herself an average looking girl and Matt … well, he was undeniably gorgeous. He could have any girl he wanted without even needing to speak a word.

“Y – yes,” she stuttered, mentally scolding herself for doing so.

A grin spread on his face. “I’ll call you when I get off.”

She nodded her head. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you later, beautiful.”

Kallie couldn’t stop the tears as she remembered how Matt had asked her on a date for the first time. Her hands shook as she tried to concentrate on washing the glass in her hands, scrubbing at unseen residue as her mind was miles away.

A window that had been left open allowed a draft to enter the living room, making Kallie shiver. It was nearing Christmas time, and with living so close to the beach, the temperature quickly dropped at night. She rubbed over her arms as she went to close the window, making sure to lock it. She sighed before walking over to the kitchen table, where she took a seat and rested her head in her hands.

Jimmy, only a year old, had been such a handful all day. She and Matt, along with their family and friends, had spoiled the little boy by constantly holding him, and the minute she went to put him down, he was crying to be in her arms again. In between trying not to wake him and holding him with one arm, Kallie had the house to clean and dinner to cook. Matt had just purchased the beach house for them, and whilst most of their things were already moved in, there was still a lot that had to be done, and with Matt having been gone for the majority of the week, it all fell upon her shoulders. Not that she was complaining, because this was the life she’d been longing for. She was in love with an incredible man who loved and cherished her, and they had just bought a home where their son could hopefully grow and create memories. They were a family now.

It was nearing ten o’clock, which meant that Matt had to be on his way home now. He’d been preparing with his friends and band mates for their tour, but he’d promised to return home that night, instead of falling asleep at the studio, which he seemed to be doing a lot of lately. Kallie didn’t think he was doing it on purpose, but it still bothered her. Whenever she’d bring the matter up, Matt would wave her off and change the subject. She knew that he, along with their friends, was still dealing with the grief of Jimmy’s death, but she’d been trying to give him his space, although it was difficult. She wanted him to be able to talk about whatever troubles he was dealing with, with her. It frustrated her that he couldn’t do so.

She heard the door open before the sound of keys being dropped came. She stood up, all too happy that Matt was finally home. She rushed to reach him, throwing her arms around his middle. Matt’s arms wrapped around her, but she could sense that he was tense.

“What’s wrong, Matt? Did something happen?” she asked, immediately worried.

“No, baby, nothing happened,” he told her, before reaching his hands up, cupping her face. The pads of his thumbs swiped over her cheeks, his hazel eyes scanning over her. “I need to talk to you.”

Kallie could only nod as she grabbed his hand, leading them towards the kitchen. They both took their seats at the table, and she tried to ignore the gnawing feeling that was growing inside of her. She watched as Matt opened and closed his mouth several times, no words ever really escaping though. His face looked so pained and it was weighing heavy on her shoulders. She hated to see him look so distraught.

“Mattie, look at me,” she said softly, grabbing his chin. His eyes met hers at that point, and it was then she saw the gloss in them. She’d only ever seen Matt cry twice, both occurrences serious ones, and it alarmed her to see this now. “You can talk to me about anything, you know. I love you, Matt, and I wish you’d open up to me.”

Her words seemed to worsen the situation, as a tear finally escaped his eyes. “Kallie,” he breathed out shakily before taking a moment to collect himself. “I want you to know that I love you. I love you and I love our son with all of my heart.” Kallie’s chest was tightening and her stomach was tying itself in knots with every passing word. “But, I just … I can’t do this right now. I can’t be the boyfriend you need me to be right now,” he said, finally looking to meet her gaze. “I have a lot of shit – personal shit – that I need to figure out.”

“W – what are you saying, Matt?” Kallie questioned, although she knew exactly what he was saying. She just didn’t want to believe it.

“I’m saying that – that we need to take a break, Kallie. I still want to see and help take care of Jimmy, and you both can stay here. I’ll rent an apartment or something, but you and our son will be taken care of. I just need some time to figure things out, Kal.”

The glass Kallie had been clutching onto broke right in her hands, the shards nicking her fingers in various places. She hadn’t realized it right away, and when she did, she screamed at the amount of blood that was seeping into the sink water. She fell onto the tiled floor in a fit of screaming and crying, her bloody hands splayed out in front of her.

Ever since Matt had announced that he was planning on proposing to Val the night before, she’d been a mess. She’d been crying nonstop and spacing out, looking much like a zombie. She hadn’t eaten and she hadn’t slept, the pain consuming her wholly.

Kallie didn’t know how much time had passed since she’d first fell to the floor, but when she heard a voice calling out her name, she noticed that her blood had already dried, looking ugly and stained against her skin.

“Kallie!” Matt shouted in a panic before running to her side. Jimmy came running right behind him, and when he saw his mother curled into a ball on the floor with blood, he began crying, trying to reach her. Matt grabbed him, holding him back. “Go to your room, Jimmy. Mommy’s alright, I promise,” he told him. The little boy hesitated, but took off running towards his room after a minute. Matt placed each of his arms under her legs and the back of her neck, lifting her up with ease. He carried her into the living room and sat down, cradling her against his chest. “Kallie, what happened?” he asked, his tone full of concern and worry.

“I was washing the dishes,” she said, her voice flat.

Matt grabbed her hands, eyeing the cuts. “None of them look too deep,” he noted, sighing in relief. Without saying a word, he lifted her once more and carried her into the bathroom, sitting her down on the counter. He searched through the cupboards for a moment, before pulling out gauze, tape and some ointment. He ran her hands under the faucet, clearing away the dried blood. Kallie yelped and he grimaced. “I’m sorry,” he uttered. Once that was done, he dried her hands and began applying the ointment with a Q-Tip.

The silence was unbearable. Matt touching her was unbearable. Looking at him and still being entirely in love with him was unbearable.

“Kallie, please stop looking at me like that,” Matt pleaded, his hands stopping.

“Like what?”

“Like it kills you to see me.”

“Maybe it does,” she whispered before a whimper escaped her mouth. She couldn’t help herself anymore.

“Oh, Kallie,” Matt breathed, pressing his forehead against hers as he wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her tightly against him. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, baby,” he apologized, sincerity laced in his voice.

A moment passed between them before Kallie was able to somewhat compose herself. “Why her, Matt? Why? I gave you every part of me that I could. I never lied or cheated on you. I only loved you and it kills me that that wasn’t enough,” she sobbed.

“You were – are enough, Kallie. You’ve always been more than enough. I never fucking deserved you and yet you still loved me like I did,” he told her, his voice raspy and low.

“Then why did you choose her, Matt?”

“I didn’t,” he stated, as if it were an explanation.

“What?” Kallie questioned, confused.

Matt looked into her eyes, and she was taken aback for a moment at how much love adorned them. “I broke up with Val, Kallie. The minute you left the restaurant and I saw what I had done to you – done to us – I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep fooling myself into thinking that I could one day love Val like I love you. It just isn’t fucking possible and honestly, I’m glad.” He took a moment to breathe. “I love you, Kallie Marie. I love you so fucking much and I hope you believe me when I tell you that.”

There was a small voice nagging at her to question his words, but a bigger voice was telling Kallie that this was the truth – this was a truth that she had always, somehow, known. The way he was looking at her, the way he was touching and holding her, reminded her of their days together and of the memories she’d been pining after for so long.

“I believe you,” she said finally, a slow smile spreading across her face. “And I love you.”

An impossibly wide grin pulled at Matt’s lips, and Kallie couldn’t help herself. She urgently pressed their lips together, needing his kiss more than anything else at the moment. She moaned into his mouth and let a few tears out, this time crying out of pure happiness and at finally feeling complete.

“Please, don’t ever leave me again, Matt,” she begged as she pulled away, her lips feeling bruised and swollen.

“I promise, Kallie,” he stated genuinely. “Never again will I hurt you or our son.”