Chaser of Faith

It must have taken me at least an hour to calm down. Rahmiel and Adriel never returned. After I had run out of tears and was too tired to cry, I went to my room to put my sword back in its hiding place- that is, after I had spent that hour gripping it tightly as I sat stiffly on the couch. I thought about sleeping, but I couldn’t be alone. I felt so afraid, still. So, I layed on the couch silently, curled up, staring out the window blankly- just thinking. Nicholas and Remy sat in the arm chairs across from me. They spent a good majority of the time just sitting there collecting their thoughts. Sometimes Remy would start speaking in English and Nicholas would finish in Sanen. To keep me out of the loop. Shock.

“Are you ready to sleep yet, Claire?” Nicholas asked. I closed my eyes briefly to test myself. All I could see when I closed my eyes was her- my- bloody face and hollow eyes as she leaped at me, while I crouched next to the table, paralyzed with fear. I opened my eyes again, taking in a breath. I merely shook my head quietly, not able to find the words to answer him. “That’s okay,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.” I wanted to feel thankful. I looked at Remy, who stared at me intently.

They never told me what they had seen and I certainly never told them what I had experienced. I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I feared what they would say when I told them what the imposter had said to me.

“I’m here for you,” she had said. “All you have to do is let him in.”

Had I done the right thing? Did I save our lives... or had I doomed us?

And where were those fucking angels…

“People will get hurt, Claire.”

I let out a shuttering breath, trying to calm myself back down as my heart picked up speed. Remy noticed this, frowning. He looked out the window slowly and back to me. He slowly lifted his hand, like he had before. With a wave of his hand, it was day time again and I was back in my home. I was on my own couch in my own living room. The sunlight heated my face- I could actually feel its warmth. The birds sang loudly outside. Nicholas and Remy sat across from me in the same arm chairs from Rahmiel’s cottage. I looked at Remy, feeling tears spring to my eyes. I couldn’t help but smile at him. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Nicholas frown, looking at us confused. Remy put his hand down, but the illusion remained.

I sat up, running my hand across the soft fabric of my couch and relishing the scene he had placed me in. I brushed away a couple stray tears that had fallen. What a beautiful gift he had. I looked at him with admiration, smiling with gratitude. He returned the smile, understanding. I hadn’t realized how homesick I was. I looked behind me and soaked in my environment.

“Bethel jo gee boddes mye,” Nicholas asked Remy quietly. I couldn’t understand him and I didn’t want to try to. Remy didn’t say anything for a moment or two.

“Geer rith sontay,” Remy answered just as gently. I didn’t want to overthink anything. I didn’t want any of this to disappear. The two of them continued to talk, but I tuned them out, laying back down and closing my eyes. I felt comfortable again. With the sun warming my face, I could feel myself starting to drift off to sleep. Suddenly the door was opened, slamming the wall, startling me from my peace and knocking me out of the illusion. I was back in the dark living room in Rahmiel’s cottage. I sat straight up on the couch and the other two whipped around to face the door.

Rahmiel stumbled into the house urgently, his hand on his heart. His face was twisted with pain. My mind immediately went to the shadowed man- to Gage. I got off the couch, following behind Nicholas to help Rahmiel. Rahmiel held up a hand, waving it to keep us away. We stopped where we were.

“Don’t,” he huffed. He winced with pain. “Don’t touch me,” he urged. “I can’t… I can’t take anymore,” he slumped against the wall and his knees gave out. I kneeled in front of him, Nicholas stood next to us.

“What happened?” I asked fearfully.

“The King… too many… emotions.” I frowned with confusion.

“Emotions?” I looked up at Nicholas. He looked thoughtful. “Not…” Not Gage?

“Rahmiel, where have you been?” he asked finally. The angel closed his eyes, taking in a breath.

“I passed out from exhaustion on the way home. I fell out of the sky. I suppose my body needed more time to heal with such little energy.” I let out an exasperated breath. Rahmiel opened his eyes again, and immediately looked behind us. “Who is that?” he asked coldly. I stood up, backing up a step.

“He’s-”

“He’s going to help me find the Tiver murderer,” Nicholas interrupted me. I stared at him, furrowing my eyebrows. “His name is Remy.” I looked back at the illusionist. He was standing by his chair, obviously nervous. I gave him a solid nod, trying to reassure him. Nicholas said nothing else about Remy or his brother. I suppose he wanted to keep it a secret. I didn’t offer any more information on the matter. I bit my lip, heading back to my place on the couch and sitting. I stared out the window again.

“Well then Remy, it is a pleasure to meet you. You are welcome to stay as long as you need,” Rahmiel said between deep breaths. Remy bowed his head.

“Talas yovet,” he said gratefully, thanking him. He sat back down in his seat slowly, keeping his head down. I could practically feel the guilt radiating off of him. My heart panged with empathy. I saw Nicholas kneel down out of the corner of my eye.

“Tell me what to do,” Nicholas ordered. I looked over to them. Rahmiel had his eyes closed again.

“How soon will the sun rise?” Nicholas looked behind him, craning his head to look out the window. I frowned, looking as well. There was no clock or anything to help tell the time.

“Dabt zet tox.” Rahmiel sighed heavily, his eyes still closed.

“I need to sleep. That’s all… Just need to sleep.” His breathing was labored, each word breathy and slow..

“I’ve got to help you up, mate.” Nicholas hooked his arms around Rahmiel’s torso, pulling him up carefully. The angel let out a sharp breath and lifted his arms up.

“Your skin, Nicholas,” he whined. Nicholas ignored him, lifting him all the way up, propping him against the wall and pulling Rahmiel’s arm around his neck. “You’re afraid?” He asked fearfully. Nicholas started walking him to the hallway. “Why are we afraid?” He insisted, pulling at Nicholas’s arm to try to remove it. “I don’t want to.” I watched them walk away. Rahmiel was so exposed and defenseless- seeing him like this was alarming. And Nicholas was afraid- that was just as distressing. I sat back into the couch and looked at Remy once more.

“You were in a mental illusion, weren’t you?” I asked him cautiously. “You and Nicholas.” Remy nodded.

“Claire,” he said with hesitation. “When I met you this afternoon… Were you in an illusion, then?” I bit my lip, swallowing nervously.

“Yes. I was. I didn’t know then, I swear. I thought… I thought I was crazy.”

“I understand.” I built up more courage to tell him the truth.

“Even before today,” I stuttered. “I’ve been… hearing things; seeing things.” I rubbed my eyes hard with both of my hands. “I really thought I was crazy,” I admitted, feeling my throat start to close up and tears flood my eyes. “But why?” I demanded, looking back at him, wiping away some tears that had spilled over. Remy’s jaw was tense and his eyes were filled with confusion.

“I’m not sure,” he finally said. “It could be because of me. It could be because of Nicholas.” He shook his head tightly. “I don’t know him.” I sniffled and stopped the tears once more. I cleared my throat.

“In the morning,” I began, sniffling again and brushing away the last of the tears from my cheeks. “Will you come with me into town?” Remy frowned.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?” I shrugged.

“It seems that it doesn’t matter where we are, he can reach us no matter what. I need to go back. I have someone that I need to visit. And, uh, your company would be appreciated.” I didn’t look at him long. I felt my cheeks start to warm up, feeling silly and embarrassed.

“Of course, Claire, I’d be happy to accompany you,” he said timidly.

“Thanks-” I cut myself off when I heard footsteps in the hallway. I shot Remy a small smile, looking back to the hallway and standing up. Nicholas walked haggardly into the living room. His shoulders and back were hunched over. He ran his hands through his hair. When he looked up to us finally, blinking slowly, he seemed to stop very suddenly, staring at me intensely. Something was different about him…

What’s wrong with his eyes? I thought to myself.

“Nicholas, what’s wrong?” I asked fearfully. His eyes were no longer black. They glowed deep red. They seemed empty. Remy was suddenly in front of me.

“Nicholas go now. You have very little time. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” Nicholas didn’t move. He stared blankly at Remy, opening his mouth slowly. His pointed teeth grew thinner, sharper, longer. I gaped at him, unable to breathe. Remy’s hand reached behind himself, grabbing my wrist to pull me closer to his back. “Nicholas, I know you don’t want to do this. Just go outside and find yourself some food,” he tried to reason. Nicholas blinked rapidly, his face twisting almost painfully. His breathing was heavy. He gnashed his teeth, growling, and in a flash he was gone. The front door was torn open and slammed against the wall, remaining open even after Nicholas was gone. I stood in shock.

“What- What just happened?” Remy turned back to me, letting go of my wrist.

“He didn’t eat tonight,” he answered slowly. “When a vampire doesn’t eat, he begins to lose himself. He becomes a danger to everyone around him.” I stared at him, horrified.

“But… what is he going to eat now?” Remy winced.

“The first living thing he finds. He may kill it. He waited too long to eat. There’s really no saying what he’s going to do right now.” I put my hands on his upper arms.

“But now he’s loose out there and is going to hurt someone? We can’t let that happen, Remy! That’s awful!” I started after Nicholas, rushing to the door. Remy called after me, running to catch up.

“Claire, don’t, he’ll hurt you.” I was hit with crisp, cool air. The sky was a deep purple, which I could only assume meant that the sun was close to rising now.

“I’d rather he hurt me than some innocent person!” I cupped my hands around my mouth. “Nicholas!” I yelled to the woods. “How much time does he have? How long until the sun comes up?” Remy sighed.

“Wy rith dabt zet tox,” he said. “It’s close to sunrise. I suppose you could say it’s around five in the morning, but we don’t often use numbers to tell time in Aksan.” Remy kept talking as I walked speedily towards the city. “Tox means sunrise, feteth means sunset. ‘Dabt zet tox’ means ‘close to sunrise.’ Then there’s ‘hoater tox’- ‘nearly sunrise.’ And ‘gryaz bet tox’- ‘far from sunrise.’” I half paid him attention as he spoke.

“Do you think he’s in the city? Or in the woods?” I heard him sigh from behind me.

“I don’t know him well enough to say for sure. I assume the woods, but I don’t know. It depends on how desperate he is. If he’s more in his right mind, he may have stayed with the woods, but if he’s further gone than that he may have gone to town… for something bigger than animals.” I frowned, turning back to him. I then faced the woods, bringing my hands to my mouth once more.

“Nicholas!” The sky was beginning to lighten. “Nicholas!” Remy put a hand on my arm.

“Claire, there’s nothing we’re going to be able to do for him. We won’t be able to find him. Not now, not like this. He’ll be back when he’s ready. He’ll find shelter before the sun comes up, I’m sure.” I let my shoulders slump, sighing.

I shouldn’t care about this, I realized. I shook my head and turned my attention quickly to him. My eyes stung and began to water. I could feel they were red and irritated from crying and exhaustion.

“We’ll sleep for a few hours and then we’ll head into the city. Sound good?” Remy looked at me with pity, making me feel embarrassed. “It’s been a rough night for all of us.” He nodded finally.

“I think sleep is a good idea,” he said in his calm and quiet voice. He swept his arm out and stepped to the side, letting me pass to head back to the cottage. I gave him a small, thankful smile and started back towards the house calmly. I couldn’t stop myself from yawning. I covered my mouth, letting out a breathy laugh.

“Sleep is a good idea.” My head ached suddenly. I rubbed my temple with the thumb side of my palm. “Remy,” I found myself saying before I could stop myself. “Do… do you still care for your brother?” He didn’t say anything for a moment, looking down at his feet as we shuffled back to home.

“You mean… do I have any intention of putting an end to him?” I searched for the right words to say, half gaping at him.

“I just mean… do you feel loyalty to your brother?” The cottage came into view. There was a light breeze, swaying the trees, giving me goosebumps.

“Can you trust me?” I bit my lip, looking away from him and to the passing trees.

“I have to ask, Remy.”

“Nah,” he drawled. “I understand. Trust me, I feel nothing for Gage. He was never really my brother anyway. We’ve never been a family.” His answer satisfied me.

I felt oddly comfortable with him, after knowing him for less than a day. He was deeply connected to the trouble that had been following me, but he wasn’t the cause. I could remember the look on his face when he found me on the path the day before- he was surprised and concerned. The illusions had started days before that. Gage wasn’t trying to scare me because of his brother. There was something else. He wanted to get in the house, and he needed us to let him in.

“Remy, do you know anything about charms?” I asked as we reached the fence. He furrowed his eyebrows at me, setting his hand on the gate.

“Charms? Like Saniat charms?” I shook my head. I didn’t realize there was a distinction between charms.

“Ah, no, Nythen charms, I guess. Do you know anything about them? Like… protection charms?” He pursed his lips thoughtfully, staring up at the horizon where the sun was just barely peaking out from behind the tops of the trees.

“I know that illusions don’t affect them the same way that they affect people. They’re… smarter.” He opened the gate for me, letting me through. I bit my lip hard as the gears turned in my mind.

“So your brother can’t get in until we invite him in,” I confirmed. He nodded, closing the gate behind himself.

“Until someone who has already been, and still is, invited in asks him to come in, he won’t be able to break the charm. You’re all safe here.” I soaked in this information.

“One more question.” He hummed thoughtfully, queuing me to continue. “Am I… different?” I stammered out, embarrassed. I didn’t know how else to ask. He rested his hand on the door knob, looking at me with confusion. “I mean, well, do I seem not… human to you?” He raised his eyebrows, backing his head away in surprise and letting his hand fall away from the door back to his side.

“Not human?” He searched my eyes. “Aren’t you human?” I let out a sigh, partly relieved, but still feeling uncertain.

“I thought I was. But the angels tell me I’m not. They say that…” I blushed, feeling stupid for bringing this up to him. “My blood smells different to them.” He looked at the ground, biting his lip and nodding slowly, thoughtfully.

“Well I imagine they would know the scent of humans best compared to the other beings on this planet. Angels and humans are closely linked. Angels were basically created to serve mankind. They’re probably aware of who is in their system, and who isn’t.” I tried to process this, looking sourly to the side.

“What do you mean?” He looked up to one of the moons in the sky, taking in a deep breath.

“Well it’s sort of complicated. Different beings belong to different systems- angels and humans belong to Heaven and Hell. Saniats belong to Tadosresineth and Rohathro San-”

“Wait isn’t that the kings’ father?” He nodded.

“Yeah or something. Angel/Saniat history, I’m not so good with.” I furrowed my brows.

“Angel? Are the two connected?” He nodded, sharing a confused look.

“Yeah, Rohathro San was an angel.” I was taken aback. “His real name was Sandalphon, I think? Something weird like that. He was the first angel of Heaven to find this planet. He was a big deal in his system, but he left. Not sure why, you might have to ask an angel. They may know better. He came to the original beings of this planet as a god and his children became deities in their own rights.” I stared down at the etchings on the bottom of the door, absorbing this information and trying to understand it. “The sun is rising,” he noted thoughtfully. “I’m sure Nicholas found shelter,” he assured. I looked up to the sky, which turned peachy as the bright orange sun peaked over the trees.

“Let’s get some sleep,” I finally said. He nodded, opening the door for me. “We’ve got a long day ahead.”