Burning Hope

It’s been a couple months and everyday Jamie goes out and promotes himself the best he can. Richard, Ashley and I have been working to keep the money from running low. I work at a local pet kennel and Richard and Ashley work at a music store. Lately they decided to go back to playing their old instruments. Richard played the drums and Ashley played the guitar. They want me to learn the bass guitar, even though I don’t have that instrument.

I sighed, “It’s been a long day hasn’t it Julie,” she’s one of my co-workers at the kennel. She’s an absolute sweetheart.

“Dude, right?” she beamed, “That man’s son was a brat! I can’t believe they were going to sue us for not having the puppy he wanted; I mean damn we’re a kennel not a breeding farm. They might as well go to the damn pet store.”

I laughed, “People these days right?” I looked at my cellphone to check for the time and it looks like my shift is over, “Well, my shifts over I’ll see you tomorrow Julie.”

“Alright bye Kyle!” she waved to me.

I opened the door to kennel and let myself out. My work is kind of far away and I do have to get a taxi to drop me off at the apartment. I sighed dreading about this because they’re straight up assholes and don’t stop for anyone unless you’re a pretty slut. Ugh fuck taxi drivers. Eventually though I managed to wave one day and get home in time to get bomb-barded with loud news.

“Oh, my God!” Jamie yelled at the top of his lungs, “Guys! Guess what?!”

“If you keep yelling I’ll ripe your balls off,” Ashley growled and Jamie giggled.

“Well, what’s the news?” Richard asked.

Jamie smiled like a dork before he exploded with the most shocking news ever, “The people at Hollywood want to see me! Me! Word got out about me and I’m so fucking happy!” he began jumping up down, cheering.

“That’s fantastic news Jamie,” I run up to him and hug him tightly, “I’m so proud of you,” I whispered to him as he kissed my lips.

“Oh, do you guys mind if you come with me to the studio? It’s about a two hour drive from here, but we can just take a taxi,” Jamie asked with a shy smile.

“Of course Jamie, let’s go!” I smiled and tugged him out of the apartment.

We all left the apartment quickly and got a cab to the Hollywood studio. Like Jamie said it did take about two hours and a little longer to get there since there was bad traffic. Stepping out of the taxi I stare in awe at the tall building before me. It’s about six stories tall and wide like a football field. People were crowding the streets around the building and my friends and I had to push our way through them. When we stepped inside I thought the outside was intimidating, but no the inside is worse. People crowded the lobby and around this center desk that sat in the middle of the building. I could see men and women dressed up professionally, with their hair fixed and groomed talking to people who came up to the desk to send them on their merry way. While Jamie walked over to the desk to announce his name I took the time to look around. It had a high ceiling with a huge chandler hanging over the center. Fancy couches and chairs littered the floor while people waited. A hallway led to where many elevators took us to high floors.

When Jamie got where he needed to go we followed him to the elevators and got in. We were all silent on the way up to the top floor where I guess the big shots are at. It makes sense if you think about it. When the ding signaled that the elevator had reached its destination, we all stepped out into a shallow hallway with many doors with labels on them. Jamie looked at the paper he has in his hands and walked down the hallway. Richard, Ashley and I follow closely behind him as he did so. I felt nervous all of a sudden; big shot people always intimidate me. Jamie stopped at a door and we all run into each other. Groaning I rubbed my nose and was about to open my mouth to say something but Jamie hushed me.

“I’m so nervous guys,” he whispered, “I mean this is it.”

I squeezed his shoulder in reassurance, “Don’t worry we’re right behind you all the way.”

He smiled nervously at me and opened the door slowly and we all step in with him. Jamie, Richard, Ashley and I stand before a long table with big guys sitting at both sides. One in particular is at the head of the table. He has big, bushy eyebrows, smoking a fat cigar and wiggled his mustache at us.

“So you must be Jamie Rodriguez,” the man’s booming voice scared me.

“Yes that’s me sir,” Jamie sounded so confident right now even though moments before he was nervous.

“I’ve heard you’ve been singing around my streets, why haven’t I heard about you before?” he asked as he takes a puff from his cigar.

“Well, I moved here from Arizona with my friends. We haven’t been here too long, so it’s almost shocking that word got around so quickly,” Jamie laughed and smiled at the man.

“I see, well do you have a sample of your talent to show us? I do want to hear one of your infamous songs,” the man spoke. Jamie nodded as Richard handed him his guitar.

“This song is called Slow Dance,” Jamie smiled and began strumming the guitar, “Pardon me for saying, I was afraid. She’d never given me the time of day. If love is a slow dance, I just hope for one chance. I hope time could stop it’s hard for me to breathe. She’s really walking over here to me. What should I say? What should I do?” he sung fluently as his fingers glided across the neck of the guitar, “No, don’t let this end now. Slow this dance down. I could stay here all night, forever.”

The looks on the men’s faces were pleasing ones. It seems Jamie’s charm has gotten to them as it gotten to everyone else who have heard his voice.

“This is not my strongest point that she knows. She pardons me for stepping on her toes. I’ve heard she’s a pageant queen, so what’s she doing dancing with me? I hope time could stop it’s hard for me to breathe. She’s really falling in love with me. What should I say? What should I do?” a smile forms on Jamie’s face as he sings. It’s almost like he’s in his own world when he holds that instrument in his hands.

“No, don’t let this end now. Slow this dance down. I could stay here all night forever. Dance with me forever! Teach me every step, every dip and every turn. Your arms around my neck make me wanna learn,” he smirked and whispered singingly, “I’m only getting better.”

He strums the guitar hard and sometimes I wonder how the strings don’t break, or how his fingers don’t bleed from all the force he uses.

“Don’t let this end now. Slow this dance down. I could stay here all night forever. Slow dance! This is a slow dance,” he finishes with a smile and a soft applause is heard from the men around the table.

“That was a lovely song, I bet you could do more,” the man grinned widely. Something tells me he has a plan in store for Jamie now, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I would to speak with you alone. Your friends have to go, but don’t worry you’ll be back later tonight.”

Jamie nodded and turned to give us all a hug goodbye before we left him alone with the big guys. I’m glad he got this chance to become something he wants to be. I truly am proud of my Jamie.



Jamie came home a couple hours ago and went straight to bed. He said he’d tell me tomorrow the big news since judging by the smile that is still plastered on his sleeping form tells me he got something good. I lie awake just thinking about the upcoming events. My first semester of college and it starts next week. I’m not nervous about it though since I don’t have to live in a dorm and I much rather not do that. I feel a lot better being with Jamie. My nerves are getting the best of me and I suppose I need rest since I do have work tomorrow. I yawned softly and stretched my arms above my head. My body feels tired but my mind is so awake. Closing my eyes just annoys me so I decided to get out of bed for a cup of water. Slowly making my way around Jamie without waking him up I get out of bed, to only slip on something and fall down.

Groaning I rubbed my butt and picked up the papers that made me fall. I don’t turn the light on in the bedroom since I don’t want to wake Jamie up, so I make my way to the bedroom door and walk into the lit hallway. I look down at the paper and the words on it are lyrics. Another song he has written that I haven’t heard yet, but eventually I will.

I dragged my feet as I walked towards the kitchen with the lyrics in my hand. I place them down on the countertop and fetch myself a glass of water. I chugged down the cool liquid and make my way back to the bedroom with the song lyrics in my hands again. I peak down at the paper and at the top it reads ‘All In Your Hands.’ Giggling it’s ironic now that I think about the situation. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I ended up running into a body. I fall backwards and land on my butt, groaning as I look up to see Jamie standing above me.

“What are you doing Kyle?” he asked me as he crouches down.

“I just got myself a cup of water,” I replied with a shrug, “And slipped on your music,” I held up the paper that was in my hand and he took it from me, “Can you tell me what that song is about?”

Jamie pressed his lips in deep thought, “Tell me instead what you think the song is about,” he walked towards the couch and sits down, patting the cushion for me to join him.

Holding the music in my hands I walk over to him and sit down next to him, “Well, let’s see,” I stare down at the paper and read over it slowly.

“The guts it’s taken you, just to say what you mean. Let’s do this right tonight cause there’s no in between,” Jamie sings softly into my ear, “The self-deprecation of what you put your faith in has brought you to your knees. You’re waiting at the starting line, what if the gun is empty?”

Hearing him sing that makes me think about the song a little more than I was. I chose to wait until he’s done with the song before I voice my thoughts on it.

“If the question’s never asked you’ll never find the answer, waiting for the truth could become your cancer. That could form in ways in this tragic way have this stage set for a great ending. We’re miles from the finish line, is your heart worth defending?” he softly hums the tone into my ear, and a strange feeling comes over me.

For some reason I feel he knows that I have questions I want to ask him, but I keep them to myself. I honestly don’t know why I won’t ask him, but I make myself keep them in. That one line though about waiting for the truth could become my cancer. I feel like he’s singing about me and it’s slowly tearing me apart. As he sings ‘leave it all and run’ that’s all I want to do at this point. I just want to runaway now and forget about telling him how I feel about the song, because I feel like I would explode.

I love his voice but tonight isn’t the night to hear it or this song. What made me run out of the living room and into the bedroom to hide under the covers was when he sang ‘We’ve taken this for way too long. We’re taking this tonight.’ It makes me feel guilty, like I’m hiding something from him when I’m not. The questions I want to ask him run through my head once again. For most of the school year he always stayed at my house. I know he and his parents aren’t on good terms, but something changed. When he did come over he was distant for a while before settling down. Why? I want to ask him that, but I refrain from doing so.

That question just brings me back to that night I was listening to him sing that song, the song that reminded me of myself and him. I don’t want to ask him about why he wrote it because he would know that I was up listening to him. I feel like he didn’t want me to hear that song. Groaning I rub my head as I tried to shake this feeling I have within me. I hear Jamie ask me what’s wrong and why I ran out so suddenly, but I don’t answer him. I just ignore him and soon he just gives up trying to talk to me. I feel his back against mine as he tries to fall asleep.

Who are you trying to prove wrong Jamie? It can’t possibly be your parents because he hates them. It can’t be mine because they love him and have faith in him no matter what. Never mind Richard and Ashley they’re our friends so it’s not hard to prove them wrong. And me, I’m his boyfriend so no matter what he does I’ll be proud of him. He doesn’t have to prove anyone wrong, but here he is getting into Hollywood trying hard to make someone proud. I sighed giving up on torturing myself on the matter and close my eyes trying to go to sleep.