Status: Keep or delete?


My First Real Choice

Darren never showed up that night. I spent most of my day walking around with Ryder and listening to his stories. After we got out of the bedroom he seemed pretty good with walking around, he mostly walked on the left side of the hall and allowed his hand to glide over the wall to guide him through the house. Every time we reached a new room n the house he would pause then tell me something about the room. I learned many things about him and Darren as well. Apparently Ryder was Darren’s best friend and he had been the only one to accept Ryder. Because they we best friends I heard funny stories about them getting in trouble and just being boys I guess. It kind of made me feel bad though, I never had a best friend…or a friend at all. I felt kind of left out.

What would my life have been like if I had lived here for my entire life, like I was meant to? Would I have met Darren a lot sooner? Already been in love with him? I could’ve had friends, and maybe a family. It does sound nice, but I feel like I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Although my life was hard I still love it, and even though I was left out I know that I can still make it though it.

It was around ten at night when I finally told Ryder that I was going to head back to the bedroom. He didn’t seem to mind though, and he even offered to walk me back to the bedroom but I declined. I knew that everyone besides us was at the meeting that Darren was at. He was trying to get them to accept me, so hopefully they were all there working on it. Although I didn’t really know how they could accept me with me being there. He was just going to tell them about me and they will never really know who I am. Though he doesn’t really know who I am anyway.

By the time I found my way back to Darren’s large bedroom it was eleven and I was exhausted. With the mixture of walking to his town, worrying about people accepting me, and running around with Ryder I was ready to simply pass out. I swear as soon as my head his it overly stuffed pillow I was out.

That night I dreamt that I was back in my village. In my head I was laying in my broken down bedroom with all my fur blankets. Roe was with me, reading me a book like he did when I was little. I was pressed up against his side watching him point at the words as he read them and looking at the pictures before he turned the page. It was nice to feel at home again, I could relax and not worry about someone killing me for just a moment.

Of course it wasn’t long until someone was shaking my. Pulling me out of my head and whispering for me to wake up. I groaned a little and tried to cuddle back into the blankets, to get away from them and return to my dreams but they kept shaking until I looked up at them. What I seen was a tried looking Darren with black bags under his eyes and a solemn looking face.

“What’s wrong?” I grumbled, still very groggy. I moved over in the bed, away from the corner so he would lie next to me. Once he did I found myself curl into his side and feeling his strong arms wrap around me. How was I so open to curling up against him, I was so open to getting close to him and breathing him in.

I felt him press his face into my hair. “You have to wake up before I tell you, Darling. Otherwise you won’t remember what I told you in the morning.”

I groaned a little and pressed tighter against his side. “I’m up.”

He chuckled a little bit and shifted me until I was face to face with him. I know tell that he was going to say something that very well could upset me, and right now I didn’t really want that but I guess it was going to happen eventually. Ever so gently he ran his fingers over my cheek bone, acting kind of lovingly.

He laughed a little. “Okay then, you get to stay here with me but there is a catch.”

I frowned a little. I was perfectly fine with staying here but I am kind of worried about this catch. “Isn’t there always a catch?”

He smiled a little and pressed his lips softly to mine. How come every time he kissed me I felt like my heart was stopping? Our lips were perfect for each other I could mold mine to his and never get tired that feeling. It was like my stomach was doing summer salts and my hands ached to pull him closer. God, I’m never going to get use to this mate thing.

He pulled away and kissed my forehead quickly. “As you know I’m the alpha of my pack, so I have to do one thing and that was finding my mate. If I were to die and we didn’t have someone to take my place, you would have to stand as alpha until we found another suitable alpha. In my pack it has to be a male ruling, not a female. So, they said they would be fine with accepting you as long as we have children with in a year and a half. They don’t want you to end up running the pack.”

I understood where they were coming from, and even though I would never want to run his pack I still found it kind of rude. Did they not think I was capable of it? Hell they are giving me a freaking time line to have children? I didn’t know it was their decision to when I could ever bear children. What would they do if I couldn’t have children? God damn it.

I frowned at him. “So you are telling me that I have to bear your children? Does that mean that I have to have the child before that year and a half is up?”

He instantly shook his head. “I’m telling you that if you want to be my mate and live here with me, my pack wishes that we have children to replace me if something happened, and no you just have to be pregnant. I’m sorry, if you don’t want to have my children you can leave now before you feel like you have to, and you can also think about it. I would never ask you to do this if I didn’t think you would want to.”

What should I say? It’s not like having children with him was the worst idea in the world. He was my mate and I know it will happen eventually, but I never thought that I would have to make the decision this early. What if we end up hating each other and we’ve already promised each other to go through with it, the poor child would be stuck with parents who resented each other. Then again what if I ended up falling for him, and then we would have the perfect family that I’ve always wanted. What can I do? He’s waiting for my answer and I don’t know what to tell him.
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Sorry, i think im going to have to update on the weekends now haha. Its way to hard with homework and school to update during the week.