Love Will Tear Us Apart

The day after the funeral Gerard was sitting on the edge of his bed, back home in New Jersey. Rose’s crib was feet from his bed and he was just staring at it. Upstairs he could hear the snores or Frank, Ray, Bob, and Mikey. They had been refusing to leave him lately. They’re probably afraid I’ll slit my wrists or hang myself in the night if they leave. He thought bitterly to himself. He glanced at his alarm clock as it turned to 5:00 am. He bowed his head and ran his fingers through his hair furiously, as if trying to root out Kayla’s memory. Gerard knew he had to get on with his life; Kayla would be so upset if he knew how much she was weighing on his mind. He stood up and pulled on a black t-shirt and a leather jacket. He pulled Rose out of her cradle and brought her upstairs, setting her down gently in Mikey’s bed for her to be safe while he was gone. Gerard slipped into his sneakers and grabbed his car keys. It was a bit of a drive, but he had time before the guys woke up...

He stood outside the cold black bars of the cemetery gates and took a deep breath. Hands in his pockets he strode through the lines of graves, looking at the tombstones and admiring some of the sculptures on the fancy ones. Finally, he got to Kayla’s spot. He just stood there for a minute, looking at it. Then slowly he sat down on the grass. He ran his finger softly over the cold stone, tracing the letters in her name. Kayla Jean Way. He traced her last name a few more times, remembering all the things they had shared. He had so much to say to her. He wanted her to hear him so much. He moved so he was lying down in the grass, face pressed against the dirt, hands digging into the grass. He closed his eyes as tears leaked out, soaking into the ground.

“Hey. Hey Kayla its me. Gee. I found your letter. I could never hate you, you know that. You said I was going to hate you but how could you possibly think that? Kayla I loved you and I still do. I’m a little upset that you didn’t feel like you could tell me, but I could never have been angry at you for it. You shouldn’t have been taken away. Someone goofed up because we were supposed to be together forever. The signals got crossed somewhere and they took you instead.” he paused, suddenly angry.

“But why? Why Kayla? Why did you let them take you? You were supposed to stay here with me and Rose! We were supposed to be perfect, we...we...oh god.” he pounded the ground with his fist, then started sobbing. “I miss you so much. I’m afraid to wake up every morning at the thought that you’re not waking up next to me anymore. Every day is just another chance for me to screw up now, because you’re not here to help me. I know you told me to move on, but moving on would be so much easier if there was another you to move on to. I guess that doing the best I can with Rose is all I can do. You sacrificed yourself to bring Rose to me, I won’t let you down. I refuse to let your sacrifice go in vain okay? Okay?” he just lay there for god knows how long. At one point he fell asleep, but woke up very quickly at the sound of a passing car. That’s when he knew it was time to leave. He stood up slowly and walked towards the cemetery gate. As he walked towards his car he looked up at the sky. The sun was coming up on a blue sky and Gerard swore he saw Kayla’s smile in the clouds as he drove away.

THE END