Slow Conversations with a Gun

"Happy Birthday Blane!" yelled my mom as I walked to the kitchen, at 8 'o'clock on a Saturday morning,"I made you chocolate chip waffles, with whipped cream and chocolate syrup!"
"Oh my god thank you so much I love you soooo much!" I smiled and kissed her on cheek.
 I went to get the plates,"Geez I am so tired, I think I might take a nap before Vic comes to pick me up."
"Spending all hours of the night with Vic huh?"
I smiled," No mom,I was with Tony's girlfriend."
"The tall one with the Jedi braid?"
"Padawan braid to exact, but yeah. We were umm..dress shopping."
"Dre-dress shopping? Wait what." we were setting the table.
"Yeah, mom."
"But you know that's what girls do, right?"
"Ha ha, you're funny." 
"After breakfast, try on that dress. I have to make sure that my daughter isn't too sexy."
I laughed and mumbled,"Doubt that."

I went in my room and looked at the dress; just a turquoise  strapless dress with a black hem and matching belt in the middle, nothing too special.
"Blane, show me the dress with you in it!"
I smiled,"Okay mom!" I put it on and showed my mom.
"Oh. my. God," she put her hand over her mouth.
"Mom, please don't cry,"I said as she fanned her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. It matches you're hair."
"Mom, my bangs are blue not turquoise," I walked over and hugged her.
"Blane Piper, you are gorgeous. I never understood why you spent so long believing you're not, I know that's why you don't wear dresses."
"How did you.."
"I've been around you for what? Eighteen years, I think I should know a thing or two about my only daughter."
I could feel my throat getting choked up,"Mom, thank you. Thank you for everything."
"Now you've done it, you've unleash Niagara Falls." I saw the tears from her eyes. I don't know what but it's something about a mother's tears. I guess it's because moms only cry for two reasons; pride or disappointment, the facts that it's sincere pain or joy. I began crying too, and we just hugged each other.
After the cry session, I unzipped my dress and hung it up. I plopped on my bed, preparing for a nap when--"BURNIN ON JUST LIKE A MATCH YOU STRIKE TO INCINERAAAATE!!"
My loud as fuck ringtone goes off, telling me that Nini's calling me.
"Whaaatt? I'm about to take my noon nap."
"Well sorry chic, we've got to get you prepared for the partaayyy."
"Nigga, that's not until 6 let me sleep."
"No can do babe, you only have the dress and the shoes right?"
"Yep, all like I need," she began laughing,"okay asshole, what else do we need?"
"I'll tell you when I pick you up."
"Which will be...?"
The door bell went off, I hung up the phone. "Why do they always do that?" I mumbled as I went to open the door. Nini was standing there with her dress in plastic and her flats in the other.
"What's up sexy fraaaand?" she exclaimed as my mom came out her room.
"Hello Nini," she said lazily.
"Hi Blane's mom."
" I told you ten times already to call me Ms. Helena."
"I'm sorry Ms. Helena. How are you?"
"I'm not sure," and she went back in her room.
"Ohh my mom's a character, so anyways you interrupted my nap, you bitch."
"Guuurrrl," we walked to my room,"we need to go shopping."
"Urrggghhh whhhyyy?" I plopped on my bed, I hated shopping as much as I hated school,"Why can't I stay in bed?"
"Blane, you want to look drop dead gorgoues on your birthday right?"
"Well.."
"BLANE"
"Yeah,"
"You want Vic to be proud to call you his right?"
"Right."
"You want every other guy to look at you and go "DAAAAAYYUUUMMNN" RIGHT."
"RIGHT!"
"THEN YOU GET YOUR ASS UP SO WE CAN SHOP!"
"OKAY."
So I put on my hoodie, and jeans and Toms, and walked out the door.
"Mom, going shopping with Nini."
"Come back with all your brain cells honey!"
Me and Nini both laugh our heads off while we're walking to the car.
"Dude, your mom's cool."
"Yeah she is."

On our way to the mall, we sing our heads off to literally anything on the radio.
"OH MY GOD DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?" I yell over the music.
"Ummm Drake?"
"I fucking love Drake and I love this song.
'I said tell meeeeee what's really going on?
Drizzy back up in this thing I'm ready, what's happening?
Gone for surgery, but now I'm back again
I'm 'bout my paper like a motherfucking scratch and win-'" I continued rapping the whole song, even Lil Wayne's part even though I don't like him.
Nini looked at me in confusion,"Yeah, I don't like alot of rap but I think Drake's pretty cool, and Kid Cudi."
She shook her head and we parked.
"You ready to shop?!" she said getting out the car.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"What did I say about that tone?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm fucking ready."
"That's more like it," she patted my head and we skipped inside the mall, arms interlocked.