Finding Who You Are

"Mick, I'm home!" I shouted as I walked towards the kitchen. I heard footsteps lightly thudding on the floor, before I was greated with a pair of arms around my waist from behind.

"Hey sweetheart." Mick muttered into my hair, and I immediately caught the smell of alcohol. It was only 6 pm and he was starting to drink already? Okay...

"You've been drinking." I plainly stated as I spun around in his lanky arms, looking at him closely. He really look like shit for the first time since I met him. His hair was a complete mess, his shirt wasn't there, and his pants were wrinkled. He was barefooted, and his cheeks seemed to be stained with tear streaks. "Mick... What's wrong?" I breathed, putting my hands on each side of his face and pulling him to look into my eyes.

"Nothing baby." He smiled, leaning down to kiss me forcefully as I tried to pull away. "Come on babe." Mick pouted, resting his hand in my hair, pulling my face back to his and kissing me again as I resisted.

"Mick... Come on... Quit it." I muttered, pressing my hands on his chest. I tried hard to push away, and didn't succeed, and I didn't really need to.

Soon Mick started crying and collapsed on the floor, sobbing words that I couldn't quite understand.

"Mick!" I cried out, scared to absolute death as I dropped to the floor beside him, pulling his body to me. "Mick please, tell me what's wrong!" I nearly screamed, pulling his face up to mine.

Mick continued sobbing, and muttering words that I couldn't understand. I decided to pick him up off the cold kitchen floor, and carry him to the room, laying him softly on the bed.

"Mick.. Please talk to me." I said softly, wiping the tears off of his face as his beautiful eyes finally looked at my face.

He looked like he was lost somewhere, like he was hurting because of something. I needed to know what was hurting him.

"I'm scared I'm going to lose you." Mick said softly before starting to sob again, burrying his face in my lap and holding his arms tightly around my waist.

I sat there in disbelief, holding him and trying to calm him down as a few tears slid down my cheek. How could he be so hurt over this? What happened to make him actually think about it so hard that he would cry about it?

"What made you think so hard on this? Why are you so hurt?" I asked softly, pulling him to sit up on my lap so I could look at him. It broke my heart to see him hurting so much. The tears were flowing down his cheeks, landing on my pants and shirt, which I didn't mind at all.

"Because when you left today... I just got to thinking... I thought you were never going to come back." He said in a low tone, looking at me softly. "It always happens... Always."

I started to cry softly, looking at Mick and shaking my head. "You'll never lose me Mick. I'll always be here. Forever." I said as I leaned to kiss his lips softly, biting at his bottom lip.

"Marry me?" I heard him mutter against my lips as my heart pounded faster.

Did he just ask me to marry him? God.... What?!

"What?" I stuttered, pulling away to look Mick in the eyes, holding his hand.

"Marry me..." He said again plainly, pulling a box from behind his back and revealing a beautiful ring to me.

"Mick..." I breathed, looking from the ring to his face. He had stopped crying now, and he looked at me dead serious.

"Rayne.. Please. I can't live without you. I couldn't even imagine it. I don't even want to think about that." He pleaded, squeezing my hand in his.

"Of course Mick... Yes." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

"What?!" He asked me in disbelief.

"Yes Mick! I'll marry you!" I said happily, continuing to kiss his face.

"Seriously?" He asked again, still not believing that I had answered the way he wanted me to.

"How many times to I have to say it Mars! I want to marry you!" I said softer this time, kissing his lips before he had time to respond. In the midst of our kisses, he slipped the ring onto my finger, kissing my hand softly.

"I love you." He breathed, hugging me to him. He wasn't worried about kissing me, or anything else but feeling me close to him right now, and I didn't mind that one bit. That was the first time he had ever actually verbally told me that he loved me... He'd never spoke those words to me before, and I almost broke into tears when he said it.

Three words never meant so much more to me in my whole life then what they did right this moment.

"I love you too Mr. Mars." I smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him off of the bed. "I still have to make you dinner." I laughed, dragging him behind me as I walked to the kitchen.

"You don't have to if you don't feel like it. We could go out for dinner if you want, or just order in." Mick suggested as I stood at the stove, gently swaying back and forth with his skinny arms around my stomach.

"I want to. I want to so much." I laughed, nearly making myself cry at the thought of what had just happened. God it was to perfect. Just so fucking perfect.

"I love you." Mick said, as he turned to walk away to the room and leaving me alone in the kitchen, which was odd, but I didn't think much of it.

"I love you too baby." I smiled as he walked off and I continued to cook.

As soon as it was done, I called out for Mick, but he didn't respond. There was no noise to tell me that he was even in the house.

"Mick?" I called out again, wandering down the dark hallway towards our room. Still not a noise.

I walked silently into the bedroom and all I found was a black, wilted rose with a note from Mick on the bed.

'Rayne,
I'm leaving. I hate you, and never want to see you again. This rose symbolizes what we had, and you destroyed it.
Goodbye
-Mick
1313'

I stood there in disbelief, my hand shaking as I felt my knees go weak. The tears began falling like waterfalls as I screamed out for Mick.

"Goodbye." I heard a faint whisper of Mick's voice before I finally snapped back into reality.

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