Teenagers (Tear Your Aspirations to Shreds)
chapter 012
Around five thirty I started to really hate myself. This girl who I liked a lot, and who apparently liked me a lot too, needed my help with the biggest choice she was ever going to have to make, and I didn't help her. I shuddered to think that she was either getting it done now, or laying at home, having just done it.
I should call her.
I called, no one answered. I tried twice more and no answer. She was either not back yet, or I should be worried. I figured it wouldn't be a horrible idea to go by her house and see if she was home. My mom was out at the doctor with Mikey. He messed up his wrist or something. I don't know, nothing serious. And it was fricking cold, even for December. But she might need someone. I called her one more time, and when no one answered, I pulled on a jacket and started to walk.
***
Her house is the smallest on the block, but isn't all that small. Two stories tall and it looks two rooms wide. There was an addition on the ground floor that extended out on the left side of the house...and there was someone sitting on the roof of the addition. As I got closer I realized it was Jessica...but I figured it had to be Jessica on crack. She was in short-shorts and the smallest shirt I’d ever seen on a girl. She was sitting on a show covered roof and yet still appeared to be breathing. I wondered if she was even aware as to where she was. I jogged through the snow of her front lawn and stood as close to the house as I could and still be seen by her.
"Jessica?" I called. She'd been sitting like a ball with her head resting on her knees, but she snapped quickly out of her shell when she was called. She looked down at me and I saw how bloodshot her eyes were, how wet her cheeks were, how puffy her lips were. She'd been crying for a while. She said nothing, she just stared at me and kept crying in silence. "I'm really sorry for how I yelled at you. It was the last thing you needed to hear."
"You were right. Everything you said was right. And I'm a horrible horrible person. I know, I get it," she said. Her voice was quiet and monotone and I had to strain to hear her over the breeze blowing her voice away from me.
"You're not a horrible person at all."
"Yeah well what do you know?"
"I know I like you a lot. And I know that you might have made a mistake, and you might've done the right thing," she cringed. "I'm not trying to play God and tell you what you can and can't do with an unborn child. I shoved my beliefs down your throat and that was wrong. Jessica, I don't like your decision, but I respect it."
"It hurts."
"I know it does."
"It's my child..."
"I know."
"I feel so dirty."
"I told you this was coming."
"And you know what the worst part of all of it is?"
"...What?"
"I couldn't go through with it."
I should call her.
I called, no one answered. I tried twice more and no answer. She was either not back yet, or I should be worried. I figured it wouldn't be a horrible idea to go by her house and see if she was home. My mom was out at the doctor with Mikey. He messed up his wrist or something. I don't know, nothing serious. And it was fricking cold, even for December. But she might need someone. I called her one more time, and when no one answered, I pulled on a jacket and started to walk.
***
Her house is the smallest on the block, but isn't all that small. Two stories tall and it looks two rooms wide. There was an addition on the ground floor that extended out on the left side of the house...and there was someone sitting on the roof of the addition. As I got closer I realized it was Jessica...but I figured it had to be Jessica on crack. She was in short-shorts and the smallest shirt I’d ever seen on a girl. She was sitting on a show covered roof and yet still appeared to be breathing. I wondered if she was even aware as to where she was. I jogged through the snow of her front lawn and stood as close to the house as I could and still be seen by her.
"Jessica?" I called. She'd been sitting like a ball with her head resting on her knees, but she snapped quickly out of her shell when she was called. She looked down at me and I saw how bloodshot her eyes were, how wet her cheeks were, how puffy her lips were. She'd been crying for a while. She said nothing, she just stared at me and kept crying in silence. "I'm really sorry for how I yelled at you. It was the last thing you needed to hear."
"You were right. Everything you said was right. And I'm a horrible horrible person. I know, I get it," she said. Her voice was quiet and monotone and I had to strain to hear her over the breeze blowing her voice away from me.
"You're not a horrible person at all."
"Yeah well what do you know?"
"I know I like you a lot. And I know that you might have made a mistake, and you might've done the right thing," she cringed. "I'm not trying to play God and tell you what you can and can't do with an unborn child. I shoved my beliefs down your throat and that was wrong. Jessica, I don't like your decision, but I respect it."
"It hurts."
"I know it does."
"It's my child..."
"I know."
"I feel so dirty."
"I told you this was coming."
"And you know what the worst part of all of it is?"
"...What?"
"I couldn't go through with it."