Coast of Maine
Collide
“I'm wide awake
and now it's clear to me
that everything you see
ain’t always what it seems “
“Em, are you ready yet?" I called toward the up the stairs.
Instead of replying to me she came down the stairs with a newly dressed Jayden on her hips, he had his chubby little arms wrapped around her neck so tight as if he was about to choke her. This was a regular routine; it was as if he had some phobia of coming down the stairs. Yet, he has no problems crawling up the stairs when none of us are looking.
"Let’s go!" Emily said
I opened the front door, hitching Jenny higher on my hip before Emily right on my heels. We made it over to my car; it was a simple Honda civic. It’s not something I wish I was driving, I was one for fast cars but I had to put the safety of my children before my need for speed. That’s what leads me to choosing a safer car that could deal with two car seats. Alex and Emily disliked my choice in car; they too loved fast fancy European cars. As I thought about the two I couldn't help but wonder where Alex was. I voiced my question to Emily
"He's didn't tell you?" Emily asked as I buckled Jenny in, I shook my head.
"Him and Kim got back together, so he’s staying at her place for a while because it turns out that she’s three months pregnant and it is one hundred percent his. Oh, and he might propose to her" She babbled.
I couldn't help but allow the smile to creep onto my face. ‘I’m so happy for him; they are perfect for each other I swear.”
“That’s exactly what I told him” Emily nodded in agreement.
I pulled out the driveway and started making the eight minute drive to the closest grocery store. As I slowed down at a red light I turned on the radio, not liking the silence in the car. I guess I forgot to turn the volume down from my last drive, because when I turned on the radio the music blared out the speaker like it would at a concert.
I liked my music loud, but not when my kids were in the car with me. I quickly turned it down, allowing the music to flow through the car, but at a softer volume. The singer voice sounded familiar, but I put my finger on the person who was singing. I couldn't help but allow my hand to tap against the steering wheel. Emily gave me an odd look and I returned her look with a questioning one of my own.
“Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked
"Do you not realize what band you are tapping to?" She asked quirking up one of her perfect eyebrows.
I just shrugged, trying to keep my eyes on the road.
"Does ‘Everything I ask for’ ring a bell?" I could her staring at me, almost as if she was daring me to not realize my mistake.
The light bulb went off in my head. I swear I would have swerved and hit a random pedestrian on the street if my eyes were not focused on the road. I turned to her and gave her my best you-got-to-be-kidding-me look. She just nodded her head and gave a sad smile. I suppressed the groan that was bubbling in my throat, and threatening to spill put my mouth. Well this was just great; where ever I went they were there somehow. May it be on a magazine cover, billboards, radio shows, the T. V, and most importantly I always saw pieces of him when I look at my kids. Especially, when I would really look at Jayden, who’s practically a splitting image of how John was as a kid.
Sometimes I felt guilty when I looked at my children. I know it is wrong of me to keep their father away, but I do anyways. It was wrong that I was going to make them grow up thinking their father didn't love them because he “never come to see them” or “never calls them”. When the truth was their father had no clue they existed at all. I shook the thoughts out of my head. It wouldn't be for a hand full more year that they get the idea of their father "abandoning" their mother. Or even start asking where is their dad and when is he coming to see them.
I let as a deep breath, and pushed the thought any John related issues as I pulled into the supermarket parking lot. I parked in the first available spot that I noticed. Luckily there were a lot of empty spots near the supermarket entrance, saving me from having to park far away. Emily quickly got out before rushing over getting two shopping carts that were besides the entrance. One cart was for her to be able to push Jenny in; the other cart was for me to push Jayden in. When she came back with both of them I already had Jayden on my hip and was making my way over to take Jenny out of her car seat.
I quickly strapped Jayden into the cart, before he could start wiggling and around and try to pull himself out the toddler made seat. After double checking that they were secure in the seats, we made our way over to the supermarket doors. In my peripheral visions I spotted two girls that that looked around my age and a tad familiar, as if I knew them from somewhere long ago. One of the girls was dirty blonde while the other one had raven colored hair. The blonde was talking on the phone with someone and the dark haired girl looked like she was texting or doing something of that nature. That was all I saw of them before they disappeared behind one of the many aisles .Which was the exact aisle we followed in behind soon after.
When we walked in I didn't spot the two girls anyway. I shook my head of the thoughts of the two girls. I most likely saw them a bunch of times and today I was conscious of the pair. But, I couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my head that it was something deeper than that. Just as I was pushing the thoughts out my head I heard my name leave an almost unfamiliar voice. As the voice registered in my head I felt my stomach drop to my toes.
"Kel-Bear is that you" the voice said.
I slowly turned around and I swear I felt my heart stop before it started up again a few seconds later. There in front of me was the blonde and dark haired girl; I had spotted not even a few minutes ago. As I got a close up of the two I felt my mind burst with memories and I was quickly able to place the two. The blonde was Charlotte and the raven hair girl was Desiree, or as I had called them Garret and Jared’s girlfriends.
"Charlotte, Desiree" I whispered, my eyes wide in shock.
After I whispered their names everything happened so fast. One second I was standing in front of the cart blocking Jayden from the view and the next second I'm being pulled into a bone crushing hug; with two over hyper girls yelling “it's been so long” and “why haven't I return their call”. Which, I simply responded too with a shrug and a forced smile saying I have a new phone. They didn't give me any choice, but to give them my number which I reluctantly did.
After we swapped numbers I noticed Charlotte's eyes wonder over my shoulder and to where Jayden was sitting sucking on his thumb. Once again I felt my heart stop as I seen her eyebrows scrunch up in confusion before she looked at me in confusion.
“I didn't know you had a kid Kels” She said looking over at Jayden once again
I looked back at Emily who was watching me with a raised eyebrow before turning back around, “two actually, I had twins.”
This caused both Desiree and Charlotte to squeal, and me to cringe slightly. I forgot how much they liked to do that.
“Oh my god, do the boys know? Oh I have to tel-“Desiree started.
“NO!” I all but shouted, “I mean, no they don’t know please don’t say anything.”
It was their turn to look at me in shock. I could see the wheels turning in their head, as they asked themselves why I didn’t want them to know. I looked back at Emily, who shot me a sympathetic look, before I looked down at my two beautiful children. I felt my chest tighten as I turned back to look at the duo.
“Look” I sighed. “Just don’t say anything to the boy at all not even about seeing me please. I’m sorry I’ll explain later, but I have to go now I’ll text you guys bye”
I quickly turned not bothering to see their reaction, or hear what they had to say. The quicker I finished my shopping and got back in my house with the twins the better.
and now it's clear to me
that everything you see
ain’t always what it seems “
“Em, are you ready yet?" I called toward the up the stairs.
Instead of replying to me she came down the stairs with a newly dressed Jayden on her hips, he had his chubby little arms wrapped around her neck so tight as if he was about to choke her. This was a regular routine; it was as if he had some phobia of coming down the stairs. Yet, he has no problems crawling up the stairs when none of us are looking.
"Let’s go!" Emily said
I opened the front door, hitching Jenny higher on my hip before Emily right on my heels. We made it over to my car; it was a simple Honda civic. It’s not something I wish I was driving, I was one for fast cars but I had to put the safety of my children before my need for speed. That’s what leads me to choosing a safer car that could deal with two car seats. Alex and Emily disliked my choice in car; they too loved fast fancy European cars. As I thought about the two I couldn't help but wonder where Alex was. I voiced my question to Emily
"He's didn't tell you?" Emily asked as I buckled Jenny in, I shook my head.
"Him and Kim got back together, so he’s staying at her place for a while because it turns out that she’s three months pregnant and it is one hundred percent his. Oh, and he might propose to her" She babbled.
I couldn't help but allow the smile to creep onto my face. ‘I’m so happy for him; they are perfect for each other I swear.”
“That’s exactly what I told him” Emily nodded in agreement.
I pulled out the driveway and started making the eight minute drive to the closest grocery store. As I slowed down at a red light I turned on the radio, not liking the silence in the car. I guess I forgot to turn the volume down from my last drive, because when I turned on the radio the music blared out the speaker like it would at a concert.
I liked my music loud, but not when my kids were in the car with me. I quickly turned it down, allowing the music to flow through the car, but at a softer volume. The singer voice sounded familiar, but I put my finger on the person who was singing. I couldn't help but allow my hand to tap against the steering wheel. Emily gave me an odd look and I returned her look with a questioning one of my own.
“Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked
"Do you not realize what band you are tapping to?" She asked quirking up one of her perfect eyebrows.
I just shrugged, trying to keep my eyes on the road.
"Does ‘Everything I ask for’ ring a bell?" I could her staring at me, almost as if she was daring me to not realize my mistake.
The light bulb went off in my head. I swear I would have swerved and hit a random pedestrian on the street if my eyes were not focused on the road. I turned to her and gave her my best you-got-to-be-kidding-me look. She just nodded her head and gave a sad smile. I suppressed the groan that was bubbling in my throat, and threatening to spill put my mouth. Well this was just great; where ever I went they were there somehow. May it be on a magazine cover, billboards, radio shows, the T. V, and most importantly I always saw pieces of him when I look at my kids. Especially, when I would really look at Jayden, who’s practically a splitting image of how John was as a kid.
Sometimes I felt guilty when I looked at my children. I know it is wrong of me to keep their father away, but I do anyways. It was wrong that I was going to make them grow up thinking their father didn't love them because he “never come to see them” or “never calls them”. When the truth was their father had no clue they existed at all. I shook the thoughts out of my head. It wouldn't be for a hand full more year that they get the idea of their father "abandoning" their mother. Or even start asking where is their dad and when is he coming to see them.
I let as a deep breath, and pushed the thought any John related issues as I pulled into the supermarket parking lot. I parked in the first available spot that I noticed. Luckily there were a lot of empty spots near the supermarket entrance, saving me from having to park far away. Emily quickly got out before rushing over getting two shopping carts that were besides the entrance. One cart was for her to be able to push Jenny in; the other cart was for me to push Jayden in. When she came back with both of them I already had Jayden on my hip and was making my way over to take Jenny out of her car seat.
I quickly strapped Jayden into the cart, before he could start wiggling and around and try to pull himself out the toddler made seat. After double checking that they were secure in the seats, we made our way over to the supermarket doors. In my peripheral visions I spotted two girls that that looked around my age and a tad familiar, as if I knew them from somewhere long ago. One of the girls was dirty blonde while the other one had raven colored hair. The blonde was talking on the phone with someone and the dark haired girl looked like she was texting or doing something of that nature. That was all I saw of them before they disappeared behind one of the many aisles .Which was the exact aisle we followed in behind soon after.
When we walked in I didn't spot the two girls anyway. I shook my head of the thoughts of the two girls. I most likely saw them a bunch of times and today I was conscious of the pair. But, I couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my head that it was something deeper than that. Just as I was pushing the thoughts out my head I heard my name leave an almost unfamiliar voice. As the voice registered in my head I felt my stomach drop to my toes.
"Kel-Bear is that you" the voice said.
I slowly turned around and I swear I felt my heart stop before it started up again a few seconds later. There in front of me was the blonde and dark haired girl; I had spotted not even a few minutes ago. As I got a close up of the two I felt my mind burst with memories and I was quickly able to place the two. The blonde was Charlotte and the raven hair girl was Desiree, or as I had called them Garret and Jared’s girlfriends.
"Charlotte, Desiree" I whispered, my eyes wide in shock.
After I whispered their names everything happened so fast. One second I was standing in front of the cart blocking Jayden from the view and the next second I'm being pulled into a bone crushing hug; with two over hyper girls yelling “it's been so long” and “why haven't I return their call”. Which, I simply responded too with a shrug and a forced smile saying I have a new phone. They didn't give me any choice, but to give them my number which I reluctantly did.
After we swapped numbers I noticed Charlotte's eyes wonder over my shoulder and to where Jayden was sitting sucking on his thumb. Once again I felt my heart stop as I seen her eyebrows scrunch up in confusion before she looked at me in confusion.
“I didn't know you had a kid Kels” She said looking over at Jayden once again
I looked back at Emily who was watching me with a raised eyebrow before turning back around, “two actually, I had twins.”
This caused both Desiree and Charlotte to squeal, and me to cringe slightly. I forgot how much they liked to do that.
“Oh my god, do the boys know? Oh I have to tel-“Desiree started.
“NO!” I all but shouted, “I mean, no they don’t know please don’t say anything.”
It was their turn to look at me in shock. I could see the wheels turning in their head, as they asked themselves why I didn’t want them to know. I looked back at Emily, who shot me a sympathetic look, before I looked down at my two beautiful children. I felt my chest tighten as I turned back to look at the duo.
“Look” I sighed. “Just don’t say anything to the boy at all not even about seeing me please. I’m sorry I’ll explain later, but I have to go now I’ll text you guys bye”
I quickly turned not bothering to see their reaction, or hear what they had to say. The quicker I finished my shopping and got back in my house with the twins the better.
