City of Fools

“Tay? Tay are you awake?”
I stirred to Alex’s gentle whispers and the tingling feeling of his breath on my neck. We’d fallen asleep entangled, and awoken the same way. Alex’s hair was flat on one side, falling into his eyes and sticking up in random places. It was the kind of adorable that gave me butterflies and forced out a smile immune to disguise.
“Morning,” I yawned, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He grinned and shuffled closer to me, his eyes squinted having not yet adjusted to the morning light.
“So last night…” He began as he settled next to me, nuzzling into my shoulder. “What was that about?”
I sighed, bringing my hand up to the base of his neck, playing with his hair.
“My Mom,” I shrugged. “I wasn't kidding about her being crazy.”
“Hm,” He mumbled.
My heart fluttered as I looked down at him, his eyelids dropping heavily in a battle to stay awake, his lips brushing against my neck.
“I've got something for us to do today, but you’re not gonna like it.”
I groaned, sitting up and swinging my legs out of bed. All I wanted to do was sit around and eat ice cream. “What is it?”
He half-smiled, walking around the bed to sit next to me, before taking my hand and kissing my cheek. “I’ll tell you when we get there.”

“Oh my god, Alex, seriously?” When his car pulled into view of the neat brick walls of the therapists, I swear I could have hit him. “I have been here far too often for someone with almost complete mental stability.”
“Almost.” He mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing, babe.”
I shook him off, trying to ignore the new pet name that kind of made me want to jump on him.

“Alex Gaskarth, the romantic,” I announced as we entered the building, “takes his girlfriend on a hot date to the fucking loony bin.”
He laughed at me as he approached the front desk. “I try.”
The waiting room was the same as ever, and far too familiar for my liking. It was however, surprisingly empty. Perhaps not all of New Yorkers had issues. Who’d have thought?!
I waited for Alex to return before I settled, lying down along the bright green sofa with my feet in his lap.
“You kind of suck, you know.”
He was biting his nails absently as he stared at nothing. “Yeah.”
I frowned, sitting up and shifting forward until I was sat on his lap.
“Are you going to tell me why you brought me here?”
His eyes met mine and he smiled briefly, before wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. I sighed and fell into it, dropping my head into his shoulder.
“Is that a no?”

It wasn’t long before we were called in, seeing as we were the only people there on a Saturday morning. Go figure.
“I don’t wannaaaaaaaa.” I whined, clinging on to Alex’s neck like, well, a monkey.
“Okay,” Without a second thought he picked me up and walked effortlessly into the office. It was kind of alarming.

Clara looked up and tried not to laugh at the sight of us.
“Well, that’s a new one.”
Alex smiled and sat down, seemingly uncaring of how weird this actually was. In my attempt to move away he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. In the realisation that I didn’t want to be here anyway, so getting a cuddle out of it couldn’t be too awful, I gave in.
“Alright,” Clara smiled. “Talk to me.”
Alex insisted I discuss the previous night, so I started with entering my apartment; leaving out the part about Alex being there. I wasn’t even sure why, seeing as we were apparently rather public.
Alex and Clara shared a look when I had finished recalling the night’s events, as though they were speaking telepathically. It made me uncomfortable.
“She’s been spacing out too.”
I frowned, glancing at him.
“What are you, my Dad?”
“If I was then we probably wouldn't be sitting like this.”
“Hmph.”
Clara cleared her throat. “Well,” She looked down at the notes in front of her, her blonde hair falling in front of her face. Although I knew it should have been the least of my worries, I couldn't help but think that she was much prettier than me, and clearly smarter, and obviously more mentally stable. I studied the way Alex looked at her and wondered what he was thinking, cursing his ability to be so good at hiding, so complex.
She continued to ask me about my mother’s behaviour and my reaction to it, listening intently to answers that surely were not as interesting as she seemed to think they were. All the while I watched Alex’s eyes as they darted around- from me, to the walls, to Clara, to the floor, back to me- and tried to see into the world behind them.
“When did your mother first start acting this way?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
Her eyes shot from Alex to me.
“When did she become so… invasive?”
“Uh, she’s always been controlling and… bizarre. But it got crazy around when I moved out…. Two years ago?”
Alex stiffened.
“Okay,” Clara sat up straighter, collecting her notes together and putting them aside.
“Taylor, would you mind if I talk to Alex alone?”
“… Okay.”
Alex squeezed my hand as I stood up, unsure of why I was leaving. I didn’t really understand any part of what was happening here, why any of this was relevant, why she needed to- wait, were they going to talk about me? I leaned against the door in what I thought was a casual way, the intern manning the main desk eyeing me suspiciously.
Soundproof. Of course it's been soundproofed, you idiot.
I sighed, wandering around the room before approaching the obscenely large fish tank.
You guys have no idea, you know. You got it so easy.
I watched them swim around aimlessly, seeing each lap of their small world as a new experience, their memories falling away with the weak ripples they sent through the water. The small mark they left in the world.
You guys are lucky. Us guys got issues.
“Tay?” Alex sounded shaky and damaged, a slight reflection on that first day he needed me. I looked up, marginally surprised to see that he looked perfectly fine and together- a professional façade. I felt the pressure of the walls around him that I’d so desperately been trying to break down. He smiled weakly and opened his arms for me to step into. “I don’t understand,” I mumbled into his shoulder.
“Me neither, babe,” He sighed. “Me neither.”

Hours later, I found myself completely alone for the first time in a few days. I paced back and forth trying to connect the dots in the mess that was today.
Finding nothing, I gave up and decided to call my mother. Perhaps I was supposed to patch things up.
No answer.
This was a waste of time. I took hold of the situation with both hands and took a taxi to her house. Half way, I realized how long it had been since I had actually visited her. No wonder she’d though I’d been distant. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been here; it must have been at least a year.
The car parked out front was different than I recalled, but in had been a while. I ignored it and proceeded to knock the door, waiting a few seconds before locking eyes with the person before me.

“…Who are you?”