Hazy Days

Joel's deep, even breaths have kept me up. Usually it would put me right to sleep but no matter how much I beg my mind to stop thinking, I can't relax. Oliver's words from earlier have very nearly branded themselves in my brain. It makes my heart flutter, but my stomach drop from feeling like I'm betraying Joel. I really like you, Victoria. God- he just screwed everything up! I need to clear my mind. I tiptoe across the room to put on my boots and one of Joel's flannel shirts. Scout perks up from his bed when he sees me. "You wanna go for a walk, baby?" I quietly coo to him. He stands up and stretches his pudgy little body. Even though most of the city is asleep, lights illuminate every corner and a few cars and taxis whizz by. Some people, on their way home from the bar, nod at me or smile at Scout.

The sun's just starting to come up when we return home. Scout's exhausted and plops himself right back on his bed. I step out of my boots and decide to see if Joel's awake. When I round the corner to our room, I nearly have a heart attack.

The mattress if flipped, clothes are thrown all over, and glass from the mirror is shattered and reflects millions of reflections on the floor. Joel's standing near the window and has the phone up to his ear. When he sees me, he drops it and -I wince- pads barefoot across the broken glass. "Oh my God. I thought you left me." He hugs me tight to him and talks against my neck. He pulls away and I can see he's on the verge of crying. "I woke up and you weren't there. The dog was gone, you were gone..." he looks so heartbroken. I wrap my arms around him and pull him back to me.

"I couldn't sleep. That's all. I'm here now."

"Don't leave me, Victoria. Don't ever leave me." His fingers tangle in my hair and he kisses me like it's the last time he'll ever see me. He carries me to the couch, planting butterfly kisses up my neck and on my cheeks. "I need you, Vic. I'd die without you," he mutters, his lips on my throat.