Master, Do You Love Me?

Well well well, school sucked, the day sucked, and Brian's dick shall be sucked in the future.
Deep in my heart, a little angel tells me not to joke about my situation, but fuck it.
I know it ain't funny, but what can I do? Life is a comedy.
Brian left the bathroom with a black short and a knife, he did fuck me hard, but we were not acting like a slave and his master...
Until now I guess.
He looked hot in those black shorts, but man, the knife made me want to say all the bad names I know.
"Shirtless" he said... I guess it's an order.
And well, I took my shirt of, like the good boy I never was.
"Pants" he said again, now I'm pretty sure that those words are all orders.
"Good, lay down on the floor" that was an order, yep.
And I did, we were in his house, I was with only an old underwear and Brian had a short and a knife.
My belly was uncovered and that scared me.
Brian brought the knife to my chest, and began to play with it, without cutting, I was shaking, deadly scared, that amazed Brian in a sick way.
Later on, he took my underwear away and came with the knife to a real personal region, fuck fuck fuck.
He suddenly stooped and threw the knife to the wall, what kind of psycho did his parents raised? Brian looked at me and his face was like "Imma fuck u in d ass" and he was really going to do this.
He masturbated me a little, making me moan, and opened my legs for his entrance.
I mean, it's really a mean thing to do, ya know, entering a guy's ass being completely dry?
It hurts, badly, and Brian looked like a rabbit, he was going fast, very fast, and it hurt me, I was moaning and groaning, both in pain and in pleasure, Brian had the ability to look at you while he fucks you, I could read  all of his expressions while fucking me, at least he was enjoining, he moaned in pleasure as I finally got used to him, and began to push his ass harder into me.
Fuck my confusion about love, I liked it, I liked him, and I could pretend that Brian loved me back.
Later on I came, but he never stopped, I was tired of being abused and there was no pleasure left, when you reach the orgasm it's like "good, now wait a few millions of years so you can get hard again", and still he was doing it.
"Brian... Please... I'll suck you, but stop" I begged.
He left me, good, I sighed in relief.
The weird thing was that he decided to masturbate himself instead of making me suck his dick.
Times like this made me wonder, I liked it, but at the same time I hated, sex was just like love, and they were confusing.
Brian eventually came, and we both put on our clothes, he turned the tv on, and it was showing A Clockwork Orange.
I really like this film, and Brian was acting kind of like Alex with me, abusing and humiliating me.
But I couldn't pay attention at all, I had those weird things in mind, all about love, what the hell was love?
Maybe, if Brian gave me HIS definition of love, I could understand if he really felt something for me...
So, shaking, I asked.
"Brian?" I began timidly.
"What is it?" he said.
"What is love?" oh lord, this sounded so dump.
He laughed and looked deep in my eyes.
"Love is a fire that burns without being seen; 
It is a wound that hurts yet is not felt;
It is a discontented contentment;
It is a pain that maddens without hurting;" he concluded.
I found that beautiful, the combination of words... I didn't know Brian was such a poet.
"Not my words, but yet the best definition I can find, let's get back to the movie" he said.
I kept thinking of the poem, yes,  poets know love well, something you hate and love at the same time, like, having loyalty on someone who kill us.
Weird, this thing called love.
And yet, I couldn't tell how Brian felt about me.