Stay

I woke up the next morning with a note on my bedside table, it was from Aunt Cora. She was demanding that I be showered, groomed and dressed for the day, because she had important guests that I would need to be tending to all day. I sighed at this, and rubbed my eyes as I lied in silken sheets. I sat up, and pulled the covers off my body, and swung my legs over the large bed. I touched my toes to the cold hardwood floors, and smiled to myself as I listened to my daughters’ laughter down the hallway, she must be playing with Maria again; she loved Maria. I stood up and made my way to the bathroom, then saw the bath was drawn and ready to go. I shrugged, and slipped out of my pajamas and sunk into the bathtub, and washed up.

Once I was done, I got out with a fresh, warm cotton towel and wrapped it around my body and another around my hair. I went to the sink and ran cold water over a tooth brush, squirted some toothpaste on the bristles and began brushing my teeth. Scrub, scrub, scrub, spit, gargle and rinse. I unraveled the towel from my hair, and ran my fingers through it, combing through the small tangles and waves. I sprayed a bit of mousse into the palm of my hand, and ran it through my damp hair. Once it was settled in my hair, I got out my Chi hair dryer and blow dried my hair, running a brush through it as I dried each section of hair. Once it was completely dry, I gathered it to the side and began to make a fishtail braid. Once it was done, I wrapped a tiny black elastic around the end, and sighed. Now it was time for the dreaded makeup.

Foundation, cream blush, winged eyeliner and a red tinted lip color. I swept powder all over my face, making sure the makeup set properly and then I went back into my bedroom and saw that my clothes had been laid out, including shoes, jewelry and a purse with all my things in it. I didn’t mind it so much anymore, but I knew when they set out my clothes for me it was important, but yet the clothes were a bit casual. I didn’t question things, mainly because you never questioned Aunt Cora.

I slipped into the clean under-garments and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was no longer had my blank pale skin, instead it was adorned with tattoos, some colored and others just black and white.
But one thing was for sure about my body, I had stretch marks, a lot of them. I had a small little tub of baby fat that never went away after my pregnancy, and of course; the years of scar tissue left from self-harm. I blinked and took my attention away from the mirror and began to examine my outfit that had been laid out for the day.

There was a blue belted dress with white birds and faded clouds on it, which I quickly stepped into and with a bit of help, had zipped up. There was also a pair of brown strappy wedges, which I stepped into the shoes and took a moment to adjust to my new height. After I was able to walk, I went to look at the jewelry options I had. I had my owl plugs, which I happily put into my ears, and a silver cuff bracelet. I put the cuff over my wrist, and sighed. What else was there to do? Nothing really.
I grabbed my purse and decided to make my way down the stairs where I had begun to smell our lunch being prepared, and where I saw McKenna. I smiled and kissed her cheek as she was watching TV, and I was making my way to the parlor where I was sure I would meet Aunt Cora, only to be stopped at the front door by the devil herself.

“These just came in for you,” She said with a smile on her face, something that slightly scared me.
“Who are they from?” She shrugged.

“I’m not sure, try reading the card Emmeline.” I must’ve looked dumbfounded, which I actually was, because she actually laughed.
“What is wrong with you?” She asked me.
“I think a better question is what is wrong with you,” I took the glass vase full of big, red carnations. I took ahold of the card, and read it. It was from the baby daddy. I rolled my eyes, and put the flowers on the side table to die.
“Who are they from?” I heard a familiar voice ask. I turned and saw Derek, and he was leaning against the entrance to the parlor.
“No one important,” He nodded. But in my head I added: “To me at least.”
“So, uhm…Derek, what are you doing here exactly?” Aunt Cora tapped my shoulder, and I looked at her as she shook her finger.
“Mr. Sanders, please go back into the parlor. We’ll join you and your friends in a moment.” He obliged, and I looked to Aunt Cora, and felt the need to scream.
“Are you nuts?!” I whispered harshly to her.
“No, just a bit insane, but that’s never hurt anyone before.” She smiled at me again, and I growled when I felt a tiny hand tugging on my dress.
“Momma, where are you going?” I smiled and picked her up.
“I’m going out with some old friends, but right now I need to do something important. Go back and watch some more TV,” She nodded and I put her down on the floor and she ran to the living room once again.

“They don’t know about the little princess do they,”
“Nope,” Aunt Cora shot me a look, but I ignored it as we entered the parlor.
“Thank you ladies and gentlemen for coming today,” Aunt Cora sat down, as did I. The air in the room was filled with an awkward feel, and everyone but Cora seemed to notice.
“As we discussed, Emmeline will attend a lunch with you today, and will accompany you to any and all events you have today.” I whipped my head over to Cora, and the look on my face was filled with anger.
“And who decided this was the plan?” I looked at her, and I looked at the group.
“Did everyone but me get a say in this?” They hung their heads, except for Derek.
“If it makes you feel better Emmeline, I voted against this.” He stated blatantly. I didn’t know how to take his statement, so I just nodded my head.
“Well, Emmeline unless you would rather stay and watch childrens’ shows all day once again, I really have no reservations in cancelling this.” The group looked at me skeptically, wondering what she meant.
“I’ll go, just this once.”
“Good, now Emmeline you know the little bistro you’re going to,” I nodded.
“Good, now come with me. Mr. Sanders you and your friends can wait outside while I talk to Emmeline in private.” We all stood up, walked out of the parlor and Aunt Cora took me into the living room, where she produced a small box.
“This is for you,” I took it from her, opened it and saw a family heirloom; a golden heart-shaped locket with little diamonds and such on the front.
“I can’t accept this,” I handed it back to her, only to have it back in my hands.
“You’re wearing it,” I frowned as she took the necklace out if it’s box, and went behind me to secure it around my neck.
“Mommy, are you leaving yet?” I looked down at her and was about to respond when I heard a cough. I looked up at saw Krys, who had a nervous smile on her face.
“Mommy?” Her question stung. I bit my lip and kissed McKenna on the cheek and told her I was leaving right then.
“Krys, follow me for a second.” She didn’t question me when I led her into the middle of our very busy kitchen.
“I guess I should start explaining,”
“Yeah, you should.”
“But you can’t tell, okay?” She nodded, and promised not to tell a soul.
“That was my daughter, McKenna.”
“Oh my god, how old is she?”
“Two, almost three.”
“Haven’t you been gone for almost three years?” I sighed and nodded.
“Oh god, she isn’t Derek’s is she?” I shook my head quickly.
“No, and she isn’t Jason’s either. I got pregnant with her six months after getting to New York.”
“Who’s the father,”
“Not saying,”
“That bad huh?”
“Look, I got here, I was starting fresh. I found out I was worth more than my last employers entire franchise. I messed around a lot, I fucked up and paid for it in form of a child.”
“So, basically you slept around a lot,” I nodded.
“I’m not proud of it, so please don’t let anyone in the group know. Especially Derek, he’ll hate me even more than he already does.” I felt tears well up in my eyes, even though I refused to let them fall.
“Emmeline, are you crying?” She looked at me, and I looked at her.
We had been separated for another 3 years, but yet she still hadn’t changed. If anything, more tattoos were on her even if I couldn’t see them. She wore black pants, a plain white top and a leopard blazer over it. She had a small hand sign necklace around her neck, a black cocktail ring on her finger and a black studded purse crossing her body.
“You love him, don’t you.”
“It kills me, everyday; I love him so much and yet I was the one to hurt him.”
“Why did you leave?”
“I’ll answer that later, I’m sure that’ll be a hot topic.” She nodded, hugged me and whispered in my ear: “He doesn’t hate you, he could never hate you. No matter what you do to him,” I wiped the minimal tears from my eyes, put on a happy smile and let her rejoin the group while I said goodbye to McKenna.
After I said goodbye to her, gave a hesitant look over to Cora I joined the group and grabbed my keys.
“I guess you guys can follow me.” They nodded, and we went outside and got in our separate cars. Once I was moving, they tailed right behind me all the way to my favorite little bistro. Once we got out, the paparazzi were attacking us like sharks, so I asked for an inside table in the private section. It had no windows, and only personnel were allowed in. Once we were seated, Krys attempted to make small talk to break the ice, but obviously it wasn’t working.
“Okay, I can see this isn’t going the way as planned. Start interrogating me,” I said bluntly. I took a sip of my water, and they all looked at me with confusion.
“Why did you leave?” Surprisingly, Alex asked this. I sighed, trying to think of a way to put this.
“I was in an abusive relationship, I wanted out. I made a deal with the devil in order to do that, so I had to leave.”
“How could you be so sure the devil would keep up his end of the bargin?”
“I couldn’t, but it was worth the risk. Besides, he hasn’t shown his face to me since I left. I gave him what he wanted, and he left me alone.”
“And what did he want exactly,” Derek was the one to ask. I looked him in the eyes, and his facial expression changed. I don’t know how, maybe it was the look in my eyes, or the fact it was written all over my face. But either way, he just knew what I had done to regain my freedom.
He didn’t say anything further, but more questions began to come at me.
“Why New York,”
“I had found out I had an inheritance waiting for me here, in order to have it I have to live here under certain guidelines and rules.”
“And, do you?”
“I don’t have to anymore, but since I fucked up a lot of the way here I’m still under a watchful eye,”
“Do you mean like what they said in the tabloids?” Alex asked.
“Depends on which ones you were reading.” He frowned, and left me alone after that.
“Well, how did you fuck up?”
“How do you think? I drank, I partied, I messed around. I got in trouble. So, now I’m paying for it.”
“How so?” Anxiety began to grow as the question hung in the air.
“In ways you probably couldn’t understand,” They didn’t bother pressing with more questions once the food had come, and I didn’t mind sitting in silence as we ate.
But Krys kept looking at me, with pleading eyes. She wanted me to tell them, she wanted me to tell them the price I paid for my mistakes.

“So Alex, what is the most ridiculous headline you read about me in the last three years?” He laughed, shaking his head.
“There’s a top five, and in that top five was you carrying Justin Davies illegitimate child.” The whole room stopped mid bite, and I froze.
“Oh,” I laughed nervously.
“Emmeline, is there something you’d like to share?” Derek asked smugly but I instantly looked to Krys, and she simply shrugged. She wasn’t going to be the one to tell, it had to be me.
“Well, I kind of did.”
“Did? You didn’t abort the baby did you,” I shook my head.
“No, I didn’t.” More silence.
“Did you put it up for adoption?”
“No,”
“You still have it?”
“I have her, yes.” Derek threw his fork and knife down to the table, and then Krys randomly yelled “That is Mahogany!” But despite the groups’ instantaneous laughter, Derek stood up and abruptly left. I pushed my plate away and threw my napkin on top of it and rushed to follow him.
“Derek, wait up!” I rushed after him, and once I got him he was about to open the door to the impending paparazzi doom.
“Don’t do it Derek, let’s talk. Okay? Just you and me,”
“I’m done talking,”
“We haven’t even talked! You haven’t even let me talk to you.” He looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness.
“Please, give me a chance to just explain. Okay? I don’t want you to hate me without letting me explain.” He rushed towards me, and enveloped me into a warm hug. I was shocked; I wasn’t expecting him to hug me. But nonetheless, I hugged him back.
“I don’t hate you, I’m just hurt.”
“And it’s my fault,”
“No, it’s both our faults.”
“Please, let me fix what I broke.” I begged. I instinctively nuzzled my face into his chest, but then he pulled away and nodded. I had gone too far, too soon. I definitely wasn’t going to be able so intimate, even if it was more of a loving hug than a mutual friends hug. I didn’t bother showing I was bothered by it, and I led him back to the private room, far away from the paparazzi and staring eyes.
“I want the truth, the whole truth right now.” I nodded.
“Our last night together, I found out I had an inheritance. I bought a late flight to New York, where Aunt Cora was waiting for me.” He nodded.

“But, I had to end things with Jason. So, we met up, and I let him…” He looked at me, and saw the pain on my face. He took my hand, rubbing his thumb over the top of it like he always used to.
“I let him have sex with me, because that’s all he wanted to begin with. Sex, that’s all he wanted from me.” I hung my head.
“After that, I left and he left, and I never heard from him again. I took every precaution to make sure I didn’t get pregnant, and after that I had a crash course in New York socialite life, and shortly after I began to party, I began to sleep around.

“That’s how I ended up pregnant, I never talk to any of the other boys I slept with, but because of the binding law I have to continue to put up with Justin. He owes me major child support right now, but he isn’t paying.” I sighed, rubbing my temple.
“But, that’s pretty much it. I partied, I got fucked up, I slept around, and now I stay at home and take care of my baby girl, and do whatever crazy stunts my Aunt Cora will think of.”
“She’s pretty crazy you know, your Aunt Cora,” I snorted.
“You have no clue how crazy,” He cracked a smile, and I felt my heart melt.
“So, when is your next activity?” I asked, mimicking my aunt Cora’s pristine voice.
“I’m not sure,” Derek stated.
“Well, maybe we can catch up, just me and you?” He smiled and looked at me with a familiar sparkle in his eyes.
“I would love that,” I was overjoyed, but all I showed was a smile. I leaned over to hug him and we rejoined our table, and every time I would talk with Derek, I could’ve sworn there was a smirk on Alex and Krys’ face; a very devious smirk.
After our lunch date, we packed up and readied ourselves for the paparazzi attack, but once we were out and they were screaming at me, begging for a statement Derek wrapped a protective arm around me, which only made the cameras go nuts. They wanted to know why that one guy from that one band had his arm around Emmeline Jax, the hottest, and biggest New York socialite and part time fuck up. But once we were in our separate cars and drove to our separate places for the time being, I couldn’t help but feel and old feeling bubbling up inside me, like a flame that was rekindling. I smiled softly to myself, thinking maybe things can honestly be fixed between us. Maybe, just maybe.