I'm Looking for Something More Than This
A Boy...
The new few days were full of rehearsals, promoting to every radio possible, and a crap ton of interviews! It was exhausting… but it’s what you have to do. To my great surprise, I was… getting recognized over here. I swear, each time I walked into Starbuck, someone wanted a picture or autograph. It was… weird! But… I liked it. I think.
Tonight was our last free night before anything kicked off. All of us were just hanging out in the Big Time Rush bus. Music was playing and all of us were just being goofy. I’m glad we all get along. I may still not know all of them very well, but… they’re fun to be around!
“What if we all went out tonight?” Carlos spoke up, smiling around at everyone.
“I can’t in the States…” I spoke up, knowing I was probably going to be the only one.
“How old are you?” Kendall asked, wrinkling his brow up as his eyes met mine.
“Fifteen,” I said with a straight face.
I felt everyone’s head snap to me… a think some jaws may have hit the floor too. I did everything I could to hold my giggles in. Oh this is funny.
“You are not!” Tom threw back with his thick Bolton accent. Sold out by one of my own!
“I’m nineteen, but I’ll be twenty in a few months,” I confessed.
“We can hang out back here then!” Kirstie cheered.
“You guys can babysit Nathan then,” Max chuckled, giving his friend’s shoulder a friendly shove.
A pout came over Nathan while he crossed his arms. Oh isn’t he just adorable. But that was the plan for the night. The twenty-one plus club was heading out while the three of us stayed back.
It fun though… for the first hour or so. But then Nathan and Kirstie started having their own conversations, including me less and less. Knowing I probably wasn’t wanted, I quietly made my way to the back of the bus. I knew there was a lounge back here… and a guitar. I think it was Kendall’s though. He wouldn’t mind if I played it, I’m sure.
After I found a piece of paper and a writing utensil, I planted myself on the floor with my back against the couch and tried to write. But… I wasn’t too sure what I was feeling. I was excited… I’m in America, away from the drama of my home country. But… I’m crushing on someone… I think… and he doesn’t really talk to me. So is that a crush? I just wanted to stop thinking about him…
With a huff, I tried to clear my head… only to hear Kirstie and Nathan laughing hysterically. Awesome.
“It’s going to get better,” I muttered to myself.
… And then it came to me! Words just seemed to zip around in my head. It was hard to collect them all to write them down.. but I got it!
“It’s gonna get better when you go
Gonna get better on my own
Gotta give you up, gotta get you out of my head,” I sang softly while strumming the guitar.
I liked it! Maybe it was just a few lines, but I was satisfied with it. While I was still trying to work on it, a soft knock echoed through the room. Nervously, I told them to come in. What if it was Nathan and he had heard me?! To my great surprise, it was… Kendall.
“I thought you were going with everyone else,” I spoke up once he stepped inside.
“We can go out any day of the week,” he replied.
“But we’re boring back here,” I giggled.
“You seem to be doing something fun… with my guitar,” he teased while sitting next to me.
“I’m just writing,” I shrugged.
“About what?” he poked playfully.
“A boy…” I sighed.
“Aw, is little Sophie in love?”
“No!” I shot back, feeling my cheeks flush red.
“Want me to help?” he changed subjects.
I didn’t object. I knew I could probably get this done by myself, but… it’s fun to write with others. And Kendall was a blast to write with. He’s super creative and has an awesome way with words. Between the two of us, we had written a rather nice song. I really wanted to open up to someone about how I was feeling, but… I don’t think Kendall was the right person… Maybe I’ll bond with him later on and confess. But until then, I’ll have a pen and paper to do that for me.
Tonight was our last free night before anything kicked off. All of us were just hanging out in the Big Time Rush bus. Music was playing and all of us were just being goofy. I’m glad we all get along. I may still not know all of them very well, but… they’re fun to be around!
“What if we all went out tonight?” Carlos spoke up, smiling around at everyone.
“I can’t in the States…” I spoke up, knowing I was probably going to be the only one.
“How old are you?” Kendall asked, wrinkling his brow up as his eyes met mine.
“Fifteen,” I said with a straight face.
I felt everyone’s head snap to me… a think some jaws may have hit the floor too. I did everything I could to hold my giggles in. Oh this is funny.
“You are not!” Tom threw back with his thick Bolton accent. Sold out by one of my own!
“I’m nineteen, but I’ll be twenty in a few months,” I confessed.
“We can hang out back here then!” Kirstie cheered.
“You guys can babysit Nathan then,” Max chuckled, giving his friend’s shoulder a friendly shove.
A pout came over Nathan while he crossed his arms. Oh isn’t he just adorable. But that was the plan for the night. The twenty-one plus club was heading out while the three of us stayed back.
It fun though… for the first hour or so. But then Nathan and Kirstie started having their own conversations, including me less and less. Knowing I probably wasn’t wanted, I quietly made my way to the back of the bus. I knew there was a lounge back here… and a guitar. I think it was Kendall’s though. He wouldn’t mind if I played it, I’m sure.
After I found a piece of paper and a writing utensil, I planted myself on the floor with my back against the couch and tried to write. But… I wasn’t too sure what I was feeling. I was excited… I’m in America, away from the drama of my home country. But… I’m crushing on someone… I think… and he doesn’t really talk to me. So is that a crush? I just wanted to stop thinking about him…
With a huff, I tried to clear my head… only to hear Kirstie and Nathan laughing hysterically. Awesome.
“It’s going to get better,” I muttered to myself.
… And then it came to me! Words just seemed to zip around in my head. It was hard to collect them all to write them down.. but I got it!
“It’s gonna get better when you go
Gonna get better on my own
Gotta give you up, gotta get you out of my head,” I sang softly while strumming the guitar.
I liked it! Maybe it was just a few lines, but I was satisfied with it. While I was still trying to work on it, a soft knock echoed through the room. Nervously, I told them to come in. What if it was Nathan and he had heard me?! To my great surprise, it was… Kendall.
“I thought you were going with everyone else,” I spoke up once he stepped inside.
“We can go out any day of the week,” he replied.
“But we’re boring back here,” I giggled.
“You seem to be doing something fun… with my guitar,” he teased while sitting next to me.
“I’m just writing,” I shrugged.
“About what?” he poked playfully.
“A boy…” I sighed.
“Aw, is little Sophie in love?”
“No!” I shot back, feeling my cheeks flush red.
“Want me to help?” he changed subjects.
I didn’t object. I knew I could probably get this done by myself, but… it’s fun to write with others. And Kendall was a blast to write with. He’s super creative and has an awesome way with words. Between the two of us, we had written a rather nice song. I really wanted to open up to someone about how I was feeling, but… I don’t think Kendall was the right person… Maybe I’ll bond with him later on and confess. But until then, I’ll have a pen and paper to do that for me.