Expectations
Fifteen | You Are the Moonlight of My Life Every Night
Annette’s POV
I didn’t know what to do anymore. Again, I was rushing to the bathroom to throw up out of sheer frustration and hurt. My stomach couldn’t take much more. My mind had already left me. He said he’d call, and he never did. We were supposed to be going to the Sydney Harbour Bridge tonight for the New Year’s Eve fireworks, but I hadn’t heard back. Well, not that I’d bothered trying to contact him all that much anyway. We’d said our goodbyes at my door in the morning, and it had been as awkward as it must have looked.
I didn’t know what I was expecting with Tom, exactly, but I knew that it hadn’t been this. We’d had such a great Christmas Eve together. Tom received a call at 3am and as he took it in the lounge room, I overheard. I overheard more than I wanted to, and figured it served me right for eavesdropping.
“Darling, please stop this. You’ve no idea what it’s doing to me,” he’d said so very clearly. The rest had been muffled as I covered my head with my pillow.
He hadn’t told me who’d called, and I didn’t have to guess. The look in his eye told me it was his ex-girlfriend, though something else was hidden in his face. He’d looked absolutely miserable in the morning as we woke. He was already up, helping himself to coffee. His stare had been out the window, and he didn’t notice as I walked into the room. I saw he was still clutching his phone in his lap. He didn’t stay long. I got a quick kiss on the cheek, then a gaze I didn’t quite understand. I watched as he walked down the hallway rather slowly, using his hand to balance against the wall as he got to the end. I saw the tears that streaked his face as the early morning light hit him.
My phone vibrated in my hands and I snapped out of my thoughts, almost entering them again before I could read the text. I knew it would be from him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. Curiosity was my least favourite aspect, sometimes.
“I’m sorry I walked out on you last week. I’ll tell you about it later. Still up for tonight? xx”
The kisses sent a small smile to my cheeks, and I forgot for a moment that anything was wrong.
“Hey!” Tom greeted me, hugging me close for a moment before I felt his lips graze my cheek. It was almost as if nothing had changed. But that’s not what I’d wanted. I was so very ready for change.
“I’m glad you could still make it tonight. You’ve been busy?” I knew he had a script he was supposed to be reading through, but I knew he hadn’t been doing that all week. He smiled a distant smile then took my hand, leading me to a free patch of grass on the hill we’d been walking past. Everybody was gathered in small groups, and the park was being lit almost entirely with sparklers and glow sticks.
We sat for a while beside a group of friendly strangers who’d invited us into their conversation. They picked up that Tom was English, of course, and this became the topic of conversation.
“I don’t know what people in England do for the New Year, really. I usually stay in.”
“Nah man, you gotta get out and party!” one of the guys replied, smashing his can into his mate’s beside him. They were getting a little loud, and I knew Tom wanted some privacy just as much as I did when he pulled at my hand again and started to lead me off once they were in a conversation of their own.
“My ex called me the other day. I’m not sure if you heard. I was at yours, at the time…”
“I know.”
“You do? Oh…” He paused for a moment as we sat down elsewhere. His eyes wandered from my face down my arms then to the grass he’d started picking at.
“Are you okay?” He looked back up at me then, and the smallest of smiles broke through his troubled expression.
“She told me she misses me. I called her bullshit. I mean, I… sorry to be vulgar… I uh, I told her I didn’t believe her.” I could hear the venom in his voice as he spoke, and was glad to be hearing it. I didn’t like him hurt, but I didn’t want him back with her. I had to admit that to myself now as we sat and his hand touched lightly against mine on the grass as he moved, sending a tingle right up my arm.
“What did she say to that?”
“She uh… she actually asked about you.”
“About me?”
“Yeah.” I wondered how she knew about me. I wasn’t sure if I should feel proud or a little scared. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant. I was trying to sort my head,” he assured me, finally smiling wide, and I felt as he moved his hand completely to rest it upon mine. We sat like that in silence for a little while as we listened to the songs being played, and I tried not to smile as Tom hummed along to the ones he knew. He checked his watch a few times and moved around a little restless, but I guessed he was just excited to see the fireworks show. I hadn’t been down to see it in years. I usually just watched it as it aired on TV.
I could hardly hear the one minute announcement on the radio over the sound of my blood as it pumped through my veins. I could feel Tom’s eyes on me. He licked his lips and looked as if he was about to say something, but then said nothing at all. I turned to him and smiled, and tried to ignore the look that was forming on his face as the countdown began.
“You should watch the bridge. It’s amazing!” I shouted into his ear, but his hand caught my face before I could completely pull back away.
“I’m already looking at something amazing.” There was no time for me to look puzzled. My mind briefly registered as the countdown ended around me, but most of my attention was concentrated on Tom as he placed his lips gently against my own. His hands moved to cup my face as he kissed me once more; I found myself terrified of opening my eyes as he eventually pulled away.
“Happy New Year, Annette.”
“You missed the start.”
“I don’t care.”
I didn’t know what to do anymore. Again, I was rushing to the bathroom to throw up out of sheer frustration and hurt. My stomach couldn’t take much more. My mind had already left me. He said he’d call, and he never did. We were supposed to be going to the Sydney Harbour Bridge tonight for the New Year’s Eve fireworks, but I hadn’t heard back. Well, not that I’d bothered trying to contact him all that much anyway. We’d said our goodbyes at my door in the morning, and it had been as awkward as it must have looked.
I didn’t know what I was expecting with Tom, exactly, but I knew that it hadn’t been this. We’d had such a great Christmas Eve together. Tom received a call at 3am and as he took it in the lounge room, I overheard. I overheard more than I wanted to, and figured it served me right for eavesdropping.
“Darling, please stop this. You’ve no idea what it’s doing to me,” he’d said so very clearly. The rest had been muffled as I covered my head with my pillow.
He hadn’t told me who’d called, and I didn’t have to guess. The look in his eye told me it was his ex-girlfriend, though something else was hidden in his face. He’d looked absolutely miserable in the morning as we woke. He was already up, helping himself to coffee. His stare had been out the window, and he didn’t notice as I walked into the room. I saw he was still clutching his phone in his lap. He didn’t stay long. I got a quick kiss on the cheek, then a gaze I didn’t quite understand. I watched as he walked down the hallway rather slowly, using his hand to balance against the wall as he got to the end. I saw the tears that streaked his face as the early morning light hit him.
My phone vibrated in my hands and I snapped out of my thoughts, almost entering them again before I could read the text. I knew it would be from him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. Curiosity was my least favourite aspect, sometimes.
“I’m sorry I walked out on you last week. I’ll tell you about it later. Still up for tonight? xx”
The kisses sent a small smile to my cheeks, and I forgot for a moment that anything was wrong.
“Hey!” Tom greeted me, hugging me close for a moment before I felt his lips graze my cheek. It was almost as if nothing had changed. But that’s not what I’d wanted. I was so very ready for change.
“I’m glad you could still make it tonight. You’ve been busy?” I knew he had a script he was supposed to be reading through, but I knew he hadn’t been doing that all week. He smiled a distant smile then took my hand, leading me to a free patch of grass on the hill we’d been walking past. Everybody was gathered in small groups, and the park was being lit almost entirely with sparklers and glow sticks.
We sat for a while beside a group of friendly strangers who’d invited us into their conversation. They picked up that Tom was English, of course, and this became the topic of conversation.
“I don’t know what people in England do for the New Year, really. I usually stay in.”
“Nah man, you gotta get out and party!” one of the guys replied, smashing his can into his mate’s beside him. They were getting a little loud, and I knew Tom wanted some privacy just as much as I did when he pulled at my hand again and started to lead me off once they were in a conversation of their own.
“My ex called me the other day. I’m not sure if you heard. I was at yours, at the time…”
“I know.”
“You do? Oh…” He paused for a moment as we sat down elsewhere. His eyes wandered from my face down my arms then to the grass he’d started picking at.
“Are you okay?” He looked back up at me then, and the smallest of smiles broke through his troubled expression.
“She told me she misses me. I called her bullshit. I mean, I… sorry to be vulgar… I uh, I told her I didn’t believe her.” I could hear the venom in his voice as he spoke, and was glad to be hearing it. I didn’t like him hurt, but I didn’t want him back with her. I had to admit that to myself now as we sat and his hand touched lightly against mine on the grass as he moved, sending a tingle right up my arm.
“What did she say to that?”
“She uh… she actually asked about you.”
“About me?”
“Yeah.” I wondered how she knew about me. I wasn’t sure if I should feel proud or a little scared. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant. I was trying to sort my head,” he assured me, finally smiling wide, and I felt as he moved his hand completely to rest it upon mine. We sat like that in silence for a little while as we listened to the songs being played, and I tried not to smile as Tom hummed along to the ones he knew. He checked his watch a few times and moved around a little restless, but I guessed he was just excited to see the fireworks show. I hadn’t been down to see it in years. I usually just watched it as it aired on TV.
I could hardly hear the one minute announcement on the radio over the sound of my blood as it pumped through my veins. I could feel Tom’s eyes on me. He licked his lips and looked as if he was about to say something, but then said nothing at all. I turned to him and smiled, and tried to ignore the look that was forming on his face as the countdown began.
“You should watch the bridge. It’s amazing!” I shouted into his ear, but his hand caught my face before I could completely pull back away.
“I’m already looking at something amazing.” There was no time for me to look puzzled. My mind briefly registered as the countdown ended around me, but most of my attention was concentrated on Tom as he placed his lips gently against my own. His hands moved to cup my face as he kissed me once more; I found myself terrified of opening my eyes as he eventually pulled away.
“Happy New Year, Annette.”
“You missed the start.”
“I don’t care.”