Summer
1/1
When I was younger I spent most of my days imagining about the future. The life of the big people, and I wanted it so desperately. I wanted to know how the world looked up there, if they could see things I couldn't - feel things I couldn't. So every year, when my birthday was about to come I'd ask my parents to see the world how they did.
And every year, they respected my wish. They'd take me on a vacation, to a foreign country, and walk me up a hill. My father would then lift me up his shoulders and let me see the world, every year repeating the same thing: "There you go, princess. Enjoy the world now that it's still beautiful."
I never understood what he had meant by it - until I, myself, got older too. The sky that I was once so impressed with, no longer meant anything to me. The beautiful trees that I wanted to reach so desperately when I was younger were mostly gone. The playground in the park was no longer safe. Now that I was finally older, living the big-people life, all I did was crave for one more day in my old life.
I never understood what happened to the little kid that was so happy to see the world. And in order to find my happiness, I saved up all my money to see the world all over again. I visited every place I had before, retraced my parents' footsteps - only to end up feeling completely lost when I finally reached the top.
Maybe it was the absence of parents in my life that made me change my view on the world or maybe the world had changed since I was little. Not once did it occur to me that maybe I was the one who had changed, and I made the world change with me.
I never thought I stopped loving the world, not until I saw the little brown headed girl clinging to her daddy's side as she looked over the woods. "It's so beautiful daddy." She mumbled softly.
With a deep sigh, I had taken my place next to the girl and said: "Cherish this moment, princess…" I wanted to continue and relieve her from the nearing pain. Make sure she never had to question the world the same way I did, but a part of me just couldn't do it.
I wanted to tell her that over the years, the colors will fade - even if, in reality, they don't. I wanted to tell her that nothing stays the same. But having those bright green eyes look at me the way they did, I couldn't bring myself to crush my daughter's dreams.
And at that very moment, she moved her arms from around Jason's leg and wrapped them around my neck. Her small lips leaving a wet kiss on my cheek before she turned her head back to the view, a small smile tugging at her lips. "The world is beautiful… the skies are blue everywhere, sometimes a little darker but they always carry beauty with them. The grass is green almost everywhere, sometimes it turns a yellow-y color which means the grass is thirsty. But it's still pretty and it gets even prettier when you feed it with water because then it becomes green again. And… and… then when it's autumn the leafs fall because they're tired from working for so long and they just wanna sleep… so they sleep through winter, like the animals do and then when spring hits they're all back again! And they have pretty colors, like the sun… the sun has a pretty color! Mommy, did you know the sun only changes colors when it goes away and comes back because its changing its pajamas? And then the moon comes, but the moon doesn't sleep. The moon just stays awake to protect me from monsters everywhere, that's what daddy told me."
It was at that very moment that I realized how innocent beauty was, her words restored the beauty I once saw in the world. It made the colors stand out once again, and most of all… it made me remember why I wanted to name my daughter Summer so desperately.
Summer used to light up my whole world, three months a year. Summer meant vacation, growing older and having mommy and daddy by my side. Summer now means the world to me.
It had been twenty years since I had been here with my parents, at the age of ten. I was now joined by my loving husband, the prince I once dreamed about, and of course the little princess we created together.
The look in my daughter's eyes reminded me of the time I was seven years young, talking to my mom about the world and growing up. "The world will always be beautiful if you keep believing it.", that's what she had told me the day of her death.
I had spent months by her side, watching her fight against the illness that slowly filled up her body. I had cried countless of times, begging her for one more birthday together - but she wouldn't make it. She promised to be with me, in every country, wherever I went for my birthday. But I didn't keep mine, I couldn't go through with the tradition having lost both of my parents. I was lonely and the world was grey.
There was no beauty, not until that day.
And every year, they respected my wish. They'd take me on a vacation, to a foreign country, and walk me up a hill. My father would then lift me up his shoulders and let me see the world, every year repeating the same thing: "There you go, princess. Enjoy the world now that it's still beautiful."
I never understood what he had meant by it - until I, myself, got older too. The sky that I was once so impressed with, no longer meant anything to me. The beautiful trees that I wanted to reach so desperately when I was younger were mostly gone. The playground in the park was no longer safe. Now that I was finally older, living the big-people life, all I did was crave for one more day in my old life.
I never understood what happened to the little kid that was so happy to see the world. And in order to find my happiness, I saved up all my money to see the world all over again. I visited every place I had before, retraced my parents' footsteps - only to end up feeling completely lost when I finally reached the top.
Maybe it was the absence of parents in my life that made me change my view on the world or maybe the world had changed since I was little. Not once did it occur to me that maybe I was the one who had changed, and I made the world change with me.
I never thought I stopped loving the world, not until I saw the little brown headed girl clinging to her daddy's side as she looked over the woods. "It's so beautiful daddy." She mumbled softly.
With a deep sigh, I had taken my place next to the girl and said: "Cherish this moment, princess…" I wanted to continue and relieve her from the nearing pain. Make sure she never had to question the world the same way I did, but a part of me just couldn't do it.
I wanted to tell her that over the years, the colors will fade - even if, in reality, they don't. I wanted to tell her that nothing stays the same. But having those bright green eyes look at me the way they did, I couldn't bring myself to crush my daughter's dreams.
And at that very moment, she moved her arms from around Jason's leg and wrapped them around my neck. Her small lips leaving a wet kiss on my cheek before she turned her head back to the view, a small smile tugging at her lips. "The world is beautiful… the skies are blue everywhere, sometimes a little darker but they always carry beauty with them. The grass is green almost everywhere, sometimes it turns a yellow-y color which means the grass is thirsty. But it's still pretty and it gets even prettier when you feed it with water because then it becomes green again. And… and… then when it's autumn the leafs fall because they're tired from working for so long and they just wanna sleep… so they sleep through winter, like the animals do and then when spring hits they're all back again! And they have pretty colors, like the sun… the sun has a pretty color! Mommy, did you know the sun only changes colors when it goes away and comes back because its changing its pajamas? And then the moon comes, but the moon doesn't sleep. The moon just stays awake to protect me from monsters everywhere, that's what daddy told me."
It was at that very moment that I realized how innocent beauty was, her words restored the beauty I once saw in the world. It made the colors stand out once again, and most of all… it made me remember why I wanted to name my daughter Summer so desperately.
Summer used to light up my whole world, three months a year. Summer meant vacation, growing older and having mommy and daddy by my side. Summer now means the world to me.
It had been twenty years since I had been here with my parents, at the age of ten. I was now joined by my loving husband, the prince I once dreamed about, and of course the little princess we created together.
The look in my daughter's eyes reminded me of the time I was seven years young, talking to my mom about the world and growing up. "The world will always be beautiful if you keep believing it.", that's what she had told me the day of her death.
I had spent months by her side, watching her fight against the illness that slowly filled up her body. I had cried countless of times, begging her for one more birthday together - but she wouldn't make it. She promised to be with me, in every country, wherever I went for my birthday. But I didn't keep mine, I couldn't go through with the tradition having lost both of my parents. I was lonely and the world was grey.
There was no beauty, not until that day.