My 8th Grade Journal

I had school today. So I got up and did my normal routine. Cory offered to take me to school. I said yes. He would be here in about ten minuets. I waited outside. The sky was beautiful. It was orange with purple clouds. Or gray ... Not too sure. Cory pulled up. "Hey!"

"Hey!" I climbed into the passenger seat. I guess he did go to the same school as I did. I got out and went to first period. I looked at Dan's seat. It was empty. I felt like crying but I held it in. Jackie was texting Dante the whole time. I didn't feel like working so I looked out the window. Class was short so I went to history. It was the same thing. I felt so empty. By the time I got to math I was called down to the consoler's office. I walk down the hall to the consoler's office.

"Sit down honey". Honey. I cringe. I hate it when people call me that.

"So what am I here for anyway?" I say rather rudely.

"Well. Some of the teachers and I think you might be a little depressed."

"Depressed huh? Well, Why would they think that?"
"One of the teachers saw your wrist. May I -" I pulled away.

"What the hell kind of right do you have trying to touch me like that?!?" I said panicking.

"I just want to see."

"NO..." I screamed.

"Its either let me see or I will have to refer you to a psychiatrist"

"FUCK YOU AND THIS DAM SCHOOL!!"

"You don't want to ruin your life do you?"

I give her the biggest evil glare I had ever given someone. "WHAT FUCKING LIFE?"

"Well the life you have"

"Like I have a Life."

"Well, lets get back to the real reason you are here. Depression-"

"You think I'm DEPRESSED? I'll show YOU DEPRESSED." I picked up a vase and smashed it up against the wall. Then I punched out the window. I turned to the consoler.

"That good enough for you?"

I ran out the door beginning to tear. I looked down at my hands and the knuckles were bleeding. Then out of no where Jackie appeared and hugged me tight. I was hoping she wouldn't notice my hands. Then I began to cry. We fell to the ground, her holding me and I, crying. Mentally Breaking down. Pretty soon the whole school was out of their classes and surrounding us. Watching like the little fucking vermin they are. What the hell did I care.

She was my BFF and nothing could ever change that. I wouldn't even change it for the WORLD, but that would all change soon enough.

Jackie and I decided to skip the rest of the day, so Cory and Dante were waiting for us and Jackie's house. Her parents didn't come home until after we did, so it was all good. "Dez ..."

"Yo?"

"I don't think we can do this anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Well ... I don't want to be involved in drama anymore. Maybe we just need a break. After everything that happened ... don't you think so?"

"Dante ...are you with her?"

"... Yes .."

"Well I thought that family was suppose to help eachother out no matter what .. and best friends were suppose to be there until the end ... I guess this is the end. "

"Dez ... don't start .."

"Don't fucking start?! You are the one who wants to fucking drop me because you don't want to be involved. You never had to get involved in the fucking first place!"

"Dez! I wanted to be there. But we just need a break."

"Whatever .. what the fuck do I care .. I just don't have family or fucking friends anymore .. I have nothing left .. so what do I CARE!? ... do what you want .. Don't call .. don't talk to me ... "
I walked out . I walked downstairs. Cory followed me. " You want me to take you home?"

"Not if you don't want to be around me either."

"Who said that?" I smiled. We got in the car and chilled in my living room for a while. Mom wasn't home so it didn't matter. I didn't care anymore. Shit was falling apart from left to right. What do I have to lose anymore anyway? I just don't care anymore.