Love Like a Tidal Wave

"How does it look?" I asked Feena, Lily, Tony's mother and grandmother as I got up on the step to examine the wedding dress I had gotten altered. It was a white strapless silk bodice top and then the bottom half was an organza ball gown skirt. A princess dress is what I liked to call it. I felt beautiful wearing it and it's the dress for me. The dress I said yes to.

Love at first site.

All in awestruck, Feena ran to me and gave me a congratulatory hug like she has been since I’ve been dress shopping. "My best friend is getting married next week and I'm already crying. Gracias a Dios!" She pulled away after a few seconds, wiping away her tears. I laughed at her and looked back at my soon to be mother in law and her mother, they were both speechless and I instantly I felt like it was too much.

"No, esta perfecto." Tony's grandmother said to. She's visiting from Tijuana to meet me and to attend the wedding of her grandson. She's so sweet and loving. She taught me how to make her famous food recipes that have been passed down from generation to generation. Since I was going to be part of the family soon, she thought she would teach me some of the recipes that Tony loved already.

My lips quirked into a smile while I gazed back at myself in the mirrors. It indeed was the perfect dress. I couldn't wait to flaunt it at my wedding. A wedding that I never wanted, but Tony made me change my mind. I love him and he loves me. He's stuck to me for the past five years and why not marry the guy?

Everything was going perfect and my happily ever after was soon arriving.

The day soon approached and I was inside the mansion waiting for the song to start—my cue to start walking down the concrete aisle of a beautiful garden. There was a perfect view of a waterfall behind the priest and the grass was perfectly green. Tony and I fought about where we were going to have our wedding. Since he has no religious views, he didn’t want it at a church. We decided on a private EXPENSIVE garden after he promised to buy me whatever house I wanted when we move out of Los Angeles.

“Te miras bonita, Carolina.” My dad smiled while staring at the people in front of us. His right hand started rubbing my hand and I started to relax. There’s nothing for me to worry about. The guy of my dreams is standing down the aisle waiting for me to say ‘I do’.

“Mommy, look at my flower basket!” Leia lifted up the white basket with purple ribbon decorated around it and purple flowers. “I’m gonna be the perfect flower girl ever!” She exclaimed and I smiled, trying my best not to cry.

“Princess Leia, you’re up.” One of the men holding the door smiled at her. Leia smiled at me and then started walking down the aisle with her bright smile. After hearing the “aws” and laughs, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen were next which consisted of Feena, Rebekah, Cara, my friend Stacy, Jaxin, Vic, Jaime, and Tony’s cousin Raphael. Mike didn’t want to be in it and I didn’t want him in it either.

As the ladies walked down the aisle I got more nervous.

They started to play Canon D and both doors opened. The two men each gave me a smile and I smiled back slowly.

Here we go.

My dad I started walking down the aisle slowly and I just looked straight ahead, a bit nervous. But once I saw Tony up there—speechless and about to cry—I calmed down and smiled at him. This is pretty cliché but all the groomsmen and Tony are wearing black and white converse. Tony thought of that idea and I actually liked it, but I made sure my bridesmaids wore heels because the dresses I picked out for them didn’t look good in sneakers.

Once we reached the priest, the music slowly stopped playing. “Who presents this bride’s hand in marriage?”

“I do,” My father responded to the Priest.

“Antonio, would you receive your bride and shake her father’s hand?”

Tony came up to us, shook my dad’s hand and looked at me, but before my dad left, he gave Tony’s shoulder a squeeze. “Si quebras su corazon, te rompo tu genitales.” He paused for a few seconds then placed a smile on his face. “Felicidades.” (You break her heart, I break your genitals. Congratulations)

He patted Tony's back while both my mouth and eyes opened wide. I looked at Tony and his eyes were filled with fear and shock.

Did my dad really threaten Tony right now? At OUR wedding?

My dad kissed my cheek and walked away from the aisle to his seat.

“You may all be seated. Antonio and Carolina, can you please hold hands and step up here.”

We do as we’re told and walked up the steps towards the priest. I handed my flowers to Feena and held hands with Tony. I quickly wiped away his stray tear from his cheek and smiled at him.

“We are gathered here today in this beautiful morning to celebrate one of life's greatest moments and give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, as you join together in vows of marriage…”

“You look very beautiful,” Tony whispered to me and I tried my best to not cry and ruin my make-up. The whole ceremony was in Spanish since practically almost all the guests spoke Spanish and preferred that language.

Tony and I continued gazing into each other’s eyes while the priest continued talking. Tony would chuckle and I would giggle because it was our big day and it’s kinda corny to look into each other’s eyes for a very long time.

"Do you, Tony, take Carolina as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

He squeezed my hand and smiled. “I do.”

"Do you, Carolina, take Antonio as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

“I do.”

“Have you brought the rings as a token of what you pledge here today?”

“LUKE DOES!!!” Leia shouted and ran to the priest—holding Nicholas’ hand. All the guests laughed as well as me and Tony. Nick slowly handed the rings to the priest and ran back to Feena.

"Why are you running?!" Leia shouted and everyone laughed again.

The priest looked at the rings, “The circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is the symbol of wholeness and perfection and peace. This ring is also a symbol of your unity; wherever you go, you will always return to one another and to your togetherness.”

The priest handed the ring to Jaxin. Jaxin held it and walked over to Tony. Tony thanked him and Jaxin went back to the other men.

“The couple have choosen to say their own vows. Tony you may begin.”

I’m absolutely positive Tony got his vows off the internet or someone helped him. He’s not the romantic type and he’s never said anything corny to me but compliments on my appearance.

He picked up my left hand and started to slide down the ring. “Carolina, you are the most stubborn, hard headed person I have ever met in my life." My heart dropped and so did my smile. "You can be bitchy as well but none of that matters because I love you and that's why we're here today. OUR big day. You're my soulmate, my best friend and my girlfriend. Your the one I want to grow old with. Each day that I wake up by your side, I continue to fall in love with you more and more.

"When nothing seems to be going right and your world starts to crash down, I’ll be your strength and I’ll be your hope. I’ll hold you in my arms because that’s where you belong. I promise to be faithful, I promise to make this last forever. I also promise you won’t ever hurt anymore. With this ring, I give you my heart. I pledge to love you as long as I shall live.”

Or maybe he did come up with those vows? I'm speechless.

“Carolina,” the priest said.

"Oh yeah," Feena came and gave me Tony’s ring. I held his left hand and slide down the ring on his finger very slowly and he smirked. I giggled and began, “Tony, you are my best friend and accomplice, and I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with you. You're also the person I plan to love always and forever. This ring, here, is a reminder that I’ll always be there for you through good and bad times—a promise, from me, to be faithful and to trust you with all of my heart. As a ring has no end, neither will my love for you. As we embark on this journey together, I promise I will be honest. I promise I will respect you and support you in your dreams and goals. I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore. With this ring, forever has now begun.”

“By the authority vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Tony, you may kiss your bride.”

Tony cupped my neck and pulled me closer to him. His warm breath hit my lips and I leaned closer to kiss him but he pulled back. Of course he would be teasing me. I grab his tie and pulled him down and his lips finally pressed against mine.

I heard everyone laughing while they applaud. I kept smiling while we kissed and ended up laughing. He chuckled and pulled me back for another kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he snaked his hands around my torso. He leaned forward and it looked like I was going to fall backwards, but he was holding me up and still kissing me.

We finally stopped and our kids ran to us. I held on to Leia’s hand and Tony held on to Luke’s hand while we walked down the aisle to the limousine.

**Three Months Later**

"All rise! Court is now in session. The honorable Judge Montgomery is presiding." The bailiff shouted as the whole jury and court rose from their seats to respect the judge who was entering the court room with a straight face on and carrying a file that happened to belong to me and Tony.

I was pursing my lips as my heart started to beat frantically once I spotted the judge heading out the door and to his chair. My eyes filled with fear as I was starting to believe that this wasn't a dream but reality.

Is this really happening?

"Please be seated," the judge took his seat and flipped through the stack of papers that were inside the file.

The silence in the room just made me more nervous than I already was. My palms were sweating, my hands were shaking, my mouth was getting dryer, if that's possible, and my mind was telling me to run.

I looked towards my left and glanced at Tony who was wearing a suit and tie. He was cleaned up nice and had a straight face on as well. I spotted Vic by his side along with Jaime and Mike. Jaime, reading my mind, looked my way and frowned. I took a deep breath and just stared at him. He knew I didn't want to be here.

I observed my right side next and saw Feena, wearing her business attire since she had an interview after this. She was looking at her acrylic nails with an 'I-can't-believe-I'm-even-here' face expression. She didn't know what was going since I've been avoiding her for the past few weeks. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't.

I also saw Lily giving me that same face expression. I frowned and then looked at my brother next to her. He just seemed happy about this because he never liked Tony and never will. He had a HUGE smile on and was kicking back on the seat, waiting for this to happen and everything to end.

"In the matter of the Perry vs Hernandez case, will the two parties please come forward." The judge declared.

Hesitating, I stood up slowly and made my way to the stand. I placed my hands on my stand and prepared for what to expect in this case. I'm told that it would go to trial because of the information I had given my attorney on our meeting and because we both have children who are involved.

I watched as Tony walked to his stand and straightened his black silk tie. He placed his hands inside his slack's pockets and stared straight ahead to the judge in front of us.

What are you doing here?

"I have here, before me today, Mrs. Carolina Hernandez and Mr. Antonio Perry." He took a pause and then stared at the paper for a minute. "Mrs. Hernandez and Mr. Perry, you two have been married for exactly three months and you two lived with each other for about three years before getting married. I understand there are two children involved in this marriage and you are seeking to end your three month marriage to Mrs. Hernandez." He stared at Tony. "Mr. Perry, you said that your wife changed after the wedding and you believed that tying the knot was a mistake because she's no longer the girlfriend you fell in love with before the ceremony. I'm going to start with you." He leaned on his desk, interlocked his fingers together and peered at Tony, my soon to be ex-husband. "Can you tell me a little bit more about your marriage and why we're here today in court?"

"We've been together for an estimate of five years before I proposed to her. Everything was great until we got married. We've been having issues a month after the wedding and I believe it's time I cut the knot on the rope."

"Ok, I read that you've also been married a few years back and filed for divorced."

"Yes, your honor." He replied briefly.

"What was the reason for that divorce?" He looked back at Tony.

"The relationship wasn't stable and healthy so I ended it."

Judge Montgomery looked down at the paper and nodded his head. He then looked around the other papers and faced me. Oh boy, here we go.

RUN! Tell him it's all a mistake! my mind screamed at me but I ignored it. If he wanted this divorce, then I'll go through with it.

"Mrs. Hernandez," he began and my heart started racing again, "how long did you guys date before you two decide to get married?"

"Well," I cleared my throat, "In the beginning, for about a year, we weren't exactly dating, just......sleeping around with each other. But afterwards, we dated for about four years and he decided to propose to me." I gave him a half smile and looked down to my shaky hands and stared at the two rings on my finger that I have yet to remove. They're both beautiful but I couldn’t get myself to remove them. It's not what I wanted. I just wanted to fix this relationship before it was officially over in paper.

"So it went from just having sex to falling in love with each other?"

"Yes, your honor." I nodded my head.

"Let me go to Perry for just a moment and I'll come back to you." He turned to Tony, "Can you please elaborate how the whole relationship initiated before you guys fell in love?"

He cleared his throat, "It all started when we were juniors in high school. I asked her for a favor and she went through and that's how our relationship was. We stopped talking and then after a few years I saw her at a party that my band was gonna play and we picked it up where we left off."

I glanced at Ceez who looked really pissed off right now. He Tony a nasty glare. My brother never knew about Tony and I in high school so I'm pretty sure he wanted to murder Tony and yell at me now. I could see his nostrils flaring.

Oh boy.

"Mrs. Hernandez, you said no at first when he proposed to you. What made you not so sure to marry him?"

"I hesitated because I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone but him. I didn't think it was such a good idea."

"Even though you guys lived with each other and had two children together?"

"Yes."

He continued talking about the whole divorce process and everything. I paid close attention to some of the things he said to me about how many times people have been demanding divorces and end up getting remarried a few months later.

The judge even knows that you're making a wrong decision!

I would space out sometimes and think of all the memories I had shared with Tony since the beginning until now. I hated myself for making him want to divorce me. I'm a mess and I'm afraid I can't fix this situation anymore since by the end of this case or trial, I'll be divorced and living alone in my small apartment—having Luke and Leia for a week and then being alone the next week. I'll be having dinner for one, just like he had told me back then.

"Now, my concern is about the children involved. What are your plans? Will you two be fighting for custody also?"

"We decided on alternating weekly. But since I'm in a band and travel a lot we decided the kids will stay with her, in the meantime." Tony answered to him.

Judge Montgomery looked my way, examining my body language and face expressions. "Do you agree on this, Mrs. Hernandez?"

"Yes sir." I said briefly and licked my dry lips. Next, he asked about our home and child support. "I don't want him in child support. I have enough money to support the kids and myself." I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked down at the stand. I didn't want or needed his money. I can be fine all by myself. I have two jobs. Tony's mother still offered to babysit when I work since they don't bother her and Feena didn't mind either. See, I'll be fine.

"What about your guy's house?" He looked up from the papers. Tony and I were renting a house together, but he moved out when we separated. He's momentarily living with Jaime in Lake Side.

"She can keep everything except my guitars and equipment." He informed Judge Montgomery. We didn't have this discussion so it kinda hurt me. I didn't want any of his shit. I just wanted my things and I'm planning on moving out anyways. I'm done living in Southern California again. Maybe I'll move back to Arizona, but I don't think I can since we have kids.

Fuck.

The Judge nodded his head, "All right." He wrote something down on the papers and looked at me for a brief second and peered back down on the papers. It went on for a few minutes. He made it sound like we needed to reconsider making this decision. My mind kept encouraging me to take his advice but I ignored my mind and just listened to the judge talk.

"Mrs. Hernandez, I took a class back in college about body languages and reading faces." Shit. "It seems to me that you're not looking forward to the divorce. Are you absolutely positive you want this is badly as your husband does?"

Once again, I was hesitant but I quickly nodded my head up and down—not making eye contact with him. He's right, but whatever Tony wants, he can have. I'm done with the arguing and constant fighting. Maybe we weren't meant for each other after all. There's always something happening between us. It was a sign and a divorce was the answer.

I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself. He's practically my first boyfriend and I had so many firsts with him. It'll be impossible for me to find someone else. I never even had sex with anyone else BUT him....excluding the rapist. I gotta stop letting that affect me and my decisions. I wanted a happily ever after, not a happily NEVER after. I needed change.

"I'll be putting this case in trial. You guys will meet back here for your second court appearance before the divorce is finalized. I also order you two to take on marriage counseling before the decision is made. The papers and schedules will be handed to your attorney. Case adjourned." He slammed his gavel on the table and flipped through his files, calling in the next case.

See, Carolina? Listen to the judge! RECONSIDER!

I exhaled a deep breath while my heart pulse increased. I watched Tony turn around to his attorney and they talk indistinctively. I look at mine and she gave me a reassuring smile while placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be fine. You'll have to attend court about three times before the divorce is finalized, like I've said before."

I gave her a forced grin and walked away from her before the tears started to stream down my cheeks. There was already tears gathered up in my eyes and I didn't want anyone to see me right now. I quickly walked down the aisle and exit the room of the court. I started running down the corridor and headed outside for some fresh air and that's when the tears started to crawl down my cheeks.

"Carolina!" A familiar female voice shouted while I continued walking away and ignoring whoever it was. I just wanted to pick up the kids and go home already. I can't stand being in this building or seeing Tony acting like I'm dead to him already. This wasn't what I wanted.

"Esperame!" She yanked my arm and turned me around, placing her hands on my shoulders. She looked at my tear filled eyes and parted her lips.

"Feena, I just want to pick up Nicole and Nick and get away from here." I interrupted her before she could say anything. I didn't want to explain what had happened before this. It was too long of a story that I didn't even want to think of it anymore.

She heaved a deep sigh, "Why are you guys doing this? I don't understand. One minute you guys are in love the next you're mad at him. Then you guys are lovey dovey again and now you guys are getting divorced!? What gives? You've been ignoring me the past month. I want a straight answer Carolina."

"I don't want to discuss this right now. I'm sorry, Fee."

"I know you like to keep things to yourself in the beginning until you're crashing down. But you're already in this huge hole surrounding by these thick walls and mira, looks what's happening. I feel like I don't know you anymore."

I looked into her dark brown eyes and took a moment before I began to explain. I swallowed the lump on my throat and looked away as a new tear started to make its way down my cheek.

Should I begin to explain everything since we've gotten married? What Tony has done to me? Why we're going to court? Or should I just tell her that I shouldn't have gotten married for the same reasons our relationship wasn't stabled?

"I have to go, Feena." I wiped away the stray tear and headed to my car in the parking lot. The only thing that'll cheer me up right now were the smiles I will receive from Leia and Nicholas.