We Can Lay With Our Eyes Closed
I Thought You'd Just Gone, Left Me Here, Alone
“Why are you here? Not that I’m complaining” he reasoned “I came because you won’t leave me alone and I heard some wise words from someone so I thought I’d take the advice and let you talk” I admitted and he nodded, “That’s a hint to start talking” I added and he looked at the drink in his hands. “I’m so sorry I upset you Hayley! I was wound up and they just pushed me too far and I snapped at them, I know I upset you now and at the time I was too wrapped up in them pissing me off to see it and I hate myself for upsetting you! I’ve missed you like hell babe, I’m sorry babe; really sorry!” he rushed out and I looked at the floor.
“But what you said” “I know Hales, I said shit because I was trying to defend you but in fact I ended up being the one bitching at you. Sometimes your age does bother me a little bit, you have so much to learn and so much to do and I feel like I’ve been and done it all. It worries me that maybe I’ll make you old before you have to be, then I think I’m totally cool with us and I don’t care that you are who you are and then Neil’s reaction made me realise that even if I’m cool with it not everyone will be. I can’t make everyone see things the way I do, what if when everyone finds out they all start taking shots? I don’t want them upsetting you and breaking us up” he explained.
“I guess I did a good job if that myself” he added and I played with my fingers “You made me feel like shit Kevin, like you have such an issue with me” “I don’t babe, I really don’t. Just sometimes it makes me think, I just want to be normal and not have this hanging over us. It’s hard to explain, I don’t want to change us but I just don’t want us to suffer because of other people. It’s not me, you know I fucking love you more than anything, I just want to look out for us and I went about it the wrong way. I was trying to protect you,” he admitted.
“What because I’m some stupid kid who needs looking after?” I snapped at him and he sighed, “No, I was protecting you because I love you and I take offence when people talk that way about you, I was trying to be a gentleman and I failed” he mumbled, “I know you’re not a stupid kid, you’ve been through more in 18 years than I have in 26 and you amaze me! The fact you just knuckled down and got a job and a place to live without any help, there’s people who are my age and don’t do that! I respect you Hayley, you are anything but a stupid kid,” he added and I leant over kissing him.
He kissed back “I’m so sorry Hales, you know I’d never hurt you on purpose. I love you baby,” he whispered and I smiled kissing him again, this time he practically pushed me down on the couch pushing himself on top of me. Within minutes my jacket was off along with my top thrown somewhere in the room, I felt his fingers on my jeans undoing them before moving pulling them off me.
He sat up dragging me with him his teeth sinking into my neck before kissing at it; he stood up pulling me with him keeping his hands on me as he kissed me walking backwards. “I love you Hayley, I’ve missed you like fuck! Let’s never do that again” there was a knock at the door and he ignored it before they knocked again “Go away!” he shouted “No! We need to talk Kev!” I heard someone reply “No we don’t” he growled back before kissing me “Yes we do! I need to talk to you,” the voice snapped.
“Fuck off” there was a noise and he pulled away, “Oi don’t just fucking walk in my house! Hales go in the bedroom” he whispered the last bit grabbing my clothes pushing me in the room shutting the door. “Man don’t look at me like that!” the voice stated as I got dressed, I sighed hearing them talking as I sat on the bed.
I saw one of his guitars laid on the floor and a book, I picked it up seeing doodles on the front and I looked around as I heard shouting. “Neil I don’t give a fuck what you’ve got to say! We both fucked up, forgive and forget. I’m not mad with you; you owe me nothing. Just let me be” Kevin argued “Dude you’ve been a pain in the ass! Look I know how I’d feel if someone did this with my girlfriend and I feel guilty. She’s just a kid and I don’t want to have upset her” “She’s not a kid! You don’t need to watch your mouth, she’s…just don’t say that! You don’t know her, just get to know her and you’ll see” Kevin growled.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t want this being an issue with you” “Neil in all respect we’ve been together 6 months and this is the first time we’ve had an argument, it’s not an issue” Kevin interrupted “But…” “I’m fine, I appreciate it but I’m fine. Can you leave now and I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked before the voices disappeared.
The door opened and I looked at him “Do your friends really think that?” he sighed sitting at my side “I think they just don’t want to bother you, I don’t know. I suppose when you get older you get thicker skinned and they don’t want to upset you; Alex won’t mind because you’re near him in age, Jeremy will treat you like he treats everyone, as for Neil and Josh they might be a bit patronising sometimes but they don’t mean it in a mean way. They were the same to Alex when he first came along apparently, it’s just their way I guess” he admitted and I nodded.
It fell quiet and I looked at the book “What’s this?” he smiled “Nothing special, it’s work. You know I just had some free time so I’ve been writing, that’s all” he explained and I nodded as he threw it on the side. “Hales seeing as we’re already on rocky ground and you hate me right now I’m just going to push myself off the cliff and say it. I want to talk about Tom,” he stated and I looked at him.
“Look I know it’s got to be hard for you to talk about but this is something that’s going to affect me if it’s true because well, it’s Tom” he reasoned and I nodded slowly. “What do you want to say?” “What do you now about your dad?” he asked “I had to give him a chance, that he did nothing wrong, his names Tom Denney and she was pretty sure Ocala, Florida was where he would be” I reeled off and he nodded.
“But Tom said she was 18, that means she’d have to be 36 now and I thought your mum was 34?” “Yeah but she was 16 when I was born, I don’t get it” I mumbled and he looked at the floor “Maybe she lied to them, said she was 18 but she wasn’t, I mean she was on the run from faith camp another lie wasn’t a huge deal to her was it?” he suggested and I shrugged.
“Tom’s never mentioned another kid and he would if he knew, I mean he adores them 2 kids. He does everything for them, he’s the sort that if there was a kid out there that was his he’d want to be part of their lives. Maybe you should talk to him about it, I mean he’d be cool with you, he’s a great guy” he reasoned and I just stared at the wall.
“I don’t know a thing about him, what if…” I trailed off and he shifted his weight, “Well I know Tom, I can tell you everything you want to know,” he said looking at me and I nodded slowly. “He’s been here his whole life, music’s the only thing he’s ever wanted to do, and him and Jeremy are as tight as you can be. If you wanted to know more you could ask Jeremy, Tom’s up for a good time but he takes his family seriously, he left the band for them. I took his place, he’s still really involved in our music and music of a lot of bands, he has his own studios and he does his own thing” he talked away at me about Tom and I just nodded.
“Why do you even care?” I said and he smiled “Because it’s you. You know if he knew he’d kick my ass into next week, guy’s protective of his kids, we’re not allowed to curse or anything around them” he added and I nodded. “Hayley I’m sorry, I think you should give him a chance though and you know I’d never suggest it unless I thought it was worth it,” he reasoned.
“But what you said” “I know Hales, I said shit because I was trying to defend you but in fact I ended up being the one bitching at you. Sometimes your age does bother me a little bit, you have so much to learn and so much to do and I feel like I’ve been and done it all. It worries me that maybe I’ll make you old before you have to be, then I think I’m totally cool with us and I don’t care that you are who you are and then Neil’s reaction made me realise that even if I’m cool with it not everyone will be. I can’t make everyone see things the way I do, what if when everyone finds out they all start taking shots? I don’t want them upsetting you and breaking us up” he explained.
“I guess I did a good job if that myself” he added and I played with my fingers “You made me feel like shit Kevin, like you have such an issue with me” “I don’t babe, I really don’t. Just sometimes it makes me think, I just want to be normal and not have this hanging over us. It’s hard to explain, I don’t want to change us but I just don’t want us to suffer because of other people. It’s not me, you know I fucking love you more than anything, I just want to look out for us and I went about it the wrong way. I was trying to protect you,” he admitted.
“What because I’m some stupid kid who needs looking after?” I snapped at him and he sighed, “No, I was protecting you because I love you and I take offence when people talk that way about you, I was trying to be a gentleman and I failed” he mumbled, “I know you’re not a stupid kid, you’ve been through more in 18 years than I have in 26 and you amaze me! The fact you just knuckled down and got a job and a place to live without any help, there’s people who are my age and don’t do that! I respect you Hayley, you are anything but a stupid kid,” he added and I leant over kissing him.
He kissed back “I’m so sorry Hales, you know I’d never hurt you on purpose. I love you baby,” he whispered and I smiled kissing him again, this time he practically pushed me down on the couch pushing himself on top of me. Within minutes my jacket was off along with my top thrown somewhere in the room, I felt his fingers on my jeans undoing them before moving pulling them off me.
He sat up dragging me with him his teeth sinking into my neck before kissing at it; he stood up pulling me with him keeping his hands on me as he kissed me walking backwards. “I love you Hayley, I’ve missed you like fuck! Let’s never do that again” there was a knock at the door and he ignored it before they knocked again “Go away!” he shouted “No! We need to talk Kev!” I heard someone reply “No we don’t” he growled back before kissing me “Yes we do! I need to talk to you,” the voice snapped.
“Fuck off” there was a noise and he pulled away, “Oi don’t just fucking walk in my house! Hales go in the bedroom” he whispered the last bit grabbing my clothes pushing me in the room shutting the door. “Man don’t look at me like that!” the voice stated as I got dressed, I sighed hearing them talking as I sat on the bed.
I saw one of his guitars laid on the floor and a book, I picked it up seeing doodles on the front and I looked around as I heard shouting. “Neil I don’t give a fuck what you’ve got to say! We both fucked up, forgive and forget. I’m not mad with you; you owe me nothing. Just let me be” Kevin argued “Dude you’ve been a pain in the ass! Look I know how I’d feel if someone did this with my girlfriend and I feel guilty. She’s just a kid and I don’t want to have upset her” “She’s not a kid! You don’t need to watch your mouth, she’s…just don’t say that! You don’t know her, just get to know her and you’ll see” Kevin growled.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t want this being an issue with you” “Neil in all respect we’ve been together 6 months and this is the first time we’ve had an argument, it’s not an issue” Kevin interrupted “But…” “I’m fine, I appreciate it but I’m fine. Can you leave now and I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked before the voices disappeared.
The door opened and I looked at him “Do your friends really think that?” he sighed sitting at my side “I think they just don’t want to bother you, I don’t know. I suppose when you get older you get thicker skinned and they don’t want to upset you; Alex won’t mind because you’re near him in age, Jeremy will treat you like he treats everyone, as for Neil and Josh they might be a bit patronising sometimes but they don’t mean it in a mean way. They were the same to Alex when he first came along apparently, it’s just their way I guess” he admitted and I nodded.
It fell quiet and I looked at the book “What’s this?” he smiled “Nothing special, it’s work. You know I just had some free time so I’ve been writing, that’s all” he explained and I nodded as he threw it on the side. “Hales seeing as we’re already on rocky ground and you hate me right now I’m just going to push myself off the cliff and say it. I want to talk about Tom,” he stated and I looked at him.
“Look I know it’s got to be hard for you to talk about but this is something that’s going to affect me if it’s true because well, it’s Tom” he reasoned and I nodded slowly. “What do you want to say?” “What do you now about your dad?” he asked “I had to give him a chance, that he did nothing wrong, his names Tom Denney and she was pretty sure Ocala, Florida was where he would be” I reeled off and he nodded.
“But Tom said she was 18, that means she’d have to be 36 now and I thought your mum was 34?” “Yeah but she was 16 when I was born, I don’t get it” I mumbled and he looked at the floor “Maybe she lied to them, said she was 18 but she wasn’t, I mean she was on the run from faith camp another lie wasn’t a huge deal to her was it?” he suggested and I shrugged.
“Tom’s never mentioned another kid and he would if he knew, I mean he adores them 2 kids. He does everything for them, he’s the sort that if there was a kid out there that was his he’d want to be part of their lives. Maybe you should talk to him about it, I mean he’d be cool with you, he’s a great guy” he reasoned and I just stared at the wall.
“I don’t know a thing about him, what if…” I trailed off and he shifted his weight, “Well I know Tom, I can tell you everything you want to know,” he said looking at me and I nodded slowly. “He’s been here his whole life, music’s the only thing he’s ever wanted to do, and him and Jeremy are as tight as you can be. If you wanted to know more you could ask Jeremy, Tom’s up for a good time but he takes his family seriously, he left the band for them. I took his place, he’s still really involved in our music and music of a lot of bands, he has his own studios and he does his own thing” he talked away at me about Tom and I just nodded.
“Why do you even care?” I said and he smiled “Because it’s you. You know if he knew he’d kick my ass into next week, guy’s protective of his kids, we’re not allowed to curse or anything around them” he added and I nodded. “Hayley I’m sorry, I think you should give him a chance though and you know I’d never suggest it unless I thought it was worth it,” he reasoned.