If You Can't Hang, Then There's the Door

I thumped my leg the whole way to the airport, Kellin drove while holding my hand. My heart was in my throat the entire ride, no amount of anxiety medication would make the sinking in my heart go away. I could barely breath. Even Kellin had a sunken unhappy expression that seemed to deepen the closer and closer we got to the airport.

"Kellin, I don't want to say goodbye" I whispered and squeezed his hand as we parked near his terminal.

"This isn't goodbye Scar, you know that" he kissed my tears as he always did when I would cry. He hugged me over the cup holder. He released and opened his door grabbing his two small bags. I reluctantly got out of the car and followed him to the airport. I wasn't anxious about the airport itself, just anxious about them all leaving and getting to their destination safely. We quickly found the rest of the guys and made our way to them. I saw Ashley's beautiful blonde hair next to Jesse, she was hugging him tightly.

"Scar! Don't cry!" Gabe hissed and pulled me into a massive hug

"I-I'm just going to miss you all so much, your my family now, my best friends, the ones I always go to!" I blubbered as Jesse pulled me from gabe and kissed my forehead then gave me a tight hug as well. Ashley smiled at me as I continued to cry.

"We will all text, call, and send you countless videos Scar! We promise!" Justin grinned and came over picking me up with his powerful hug. As the rest of the guys agreed. They all Hugged me and kissed my cheeks one by one as they made their way through airport security, they waved... This was the last time they would be that close to me for three months. Ashley and Jesse were still saying goodbye and Kellin stayed behind holding me.

"I love you so much Scar, I promise I'll text you every chance I get, I'll call you when I land and ill call you every night before bed, Not a second will go by that I won't think of you sweetheart" he kissed me deeply and placed both his hand on my cheeks, I felt my body light up with a sense of love and warmth that lingered even as we parted ways. I felt relieved knowing he truly would miss me and never stop loving me.

"I love you to Kellin, I'll be here waiting to hold you in my arms again, I'll count the days and put texting, calling, and skyping you before everything else" he hugged me harder and I felt a few of his hot tears hit my cheeks. I kissed them away.

"I'll see you soon Scar, I love you.... Keep my heart safe" he held his hand over my heart and I placed my hand over his heart, feeling the familiar rhythm for the last time until his return.

I watched him walk through security, he had tears running down his cheeks, he waved to me after we stood there staring at each other for a few minutes , when he finally walked off he made a heart with his hands and smiled. His eyes gave away that fake smile, but I was just as bad as him, I could barely see through my tears as he walked away out of my sight. Ashley came over to me and rubbed my shoulders.

"It'll be ok, they will be back before you know it" she smiled and walked with me to Kellins car, it was mine until he got back he insisted I used it as much as possible.

"Want to come back to mine and Kellins place ? I could use some company" I offered to Ashley as she stood by the car with me.

"Don't you need to get back to the bakery? I don't want to be a burden" she said shyly.

"Oh no Hun, I close the bakery every Sunday, I need a day off once in awhile" I smiled kindly at her and she seemed to become less tense.

"I feel silly for forgetting that ! Jesse has mentioned it before. I'm just so happy you hired me by the way, thank you again" she climbed into the passengers seat as I got behind the wheel.

"It's no problem at all, honestly I'm surrounded by the boys so much , it will be nice having another girl around" she giggled lightly and turned on the radio.

"I know I've only been with Jesse for a couple weeks now, but I'm here for you If you ever need to talk, I know how badly your going to miss Kellin" she said smoothly as we both watched the road and we approached the apartments.

"Thank you Ashley, it means a lot. I hope we can become good friends, you and Jesse are just the cutest couple" she smiled widely at me as we walked into the apartment.

"Wow, your apartment is lovely" Ashley gasped looking around me and kellins home. His orange and vanilla scent still lingered.

"Thank you." I replied as I reached for a bottle of wine out of our cabinets.

"Care for some wine?" I asked raising an eyebrow at Ashley who got a smirk on her face,

"Oh hell yes! Your already becoming my favorite person ever" she said excitedly as I handed her a glass of deep red wine.

"We'll may as well have a little fun before you start your new job tomorrow " I laughed lightly along with her.

"As long as my boss doesn't get upset about my hangover" she giggled again.

"She would never be upset about such things ! " we clinked our glasses and talked steadily, before we knew it the bottle was gone and we were tipsy.

"Which movie should we watch next!" I asked Ashley happily and she picked up one of the best movies ever.

"How about Austin powers ?" She giggled and put it into the DVD player.

We were laughing loudly when I heard my phone ring, I jumped at the ring tone it was Kellin singing me a song he has yet to record and answered it happily.

"KELLIN!" I said excitedly. I heard his angelic laugh through the phone and blushed.

"Hey baby, we landed, and were all safe" I missed his voice so much I couldn't help but smile as be called me baby.

"I'm glad, I've been hanging out with Ashley to get my mind off of worrying"
Kellin sighed on the other end of the phone, he was relieved.

"I hope you girls are having fun, but I wanted to say I love you Scarlett, and I'll text you later tonight, we have a lot to do when we get to the bus." I didn't want him to stop talking, I didn't want to stop hearing his voice.

"Ok baby I love you be safe" he laughed again. That laugh always ran through my head, it was so adorable.

"I love you to Scar, goodbye baby" he sort of sang his goodbye and I felt my heart fill with excitement, I had their debut CD, and I could hear Kellins voice whenever I pleased. It oddly put me at ease.

"hey scar Jesse told me to tell you they are all safe" Ashley said bouncing into where I was standing in the kitchen , just getting off the phone with kellin.

"Kellin just called me. God I miss them all so much already" I replied as she continued to smile.

"No more being sad Scalettt!" She sang my name and twirled me around in the kitchen.

"Ok, ok! I'll stop pouting! Lets keep drinking" I laughed as she happily agreed to another drink.

Ashley stayed the night on the couch, we got sufficiently drunk and I didn't want to make her go home. Besides I had no Morning baking to do tomorrow so I figured we could sleep in a bit before our shifts and she could just borrow an outfit for tomorrow, she was taller than me but we seemed to both have a small figure.

I walked towards my room and stopped as my hand hovered over the door knob. I turned around and glided over to Kellins room, I opened the door and smiled. I breathed in the strong scent of Kellin, and went into his closet. The only three articles of clothing that hung there were the worry sweater me and kellin shared, my favorite purple T- shirt Kellin would wear around the house, and the simple yellow beanie I always loved seeing Him wear. I grabbed our signature hoodie and pulled it on after I got undressed. I shoved my hands in the pocket and felt something Inside. I brought it out and saw it was a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and blushed immediately recognizing Kellins hand writing.

"Dear Scar,
I love you with all my soul. I wanted to leave you a few of your favorite things. I thought maybe when you missed me most these would make you feel like I was still there with my arms wrapped tightly around you. Whenever uour starting to worry, never forget this hoodie, its a big piece of me that i always loved sharing with you. But Try not to worry to much about me sweetheart, your the strongest woman I know and I'm just a phone call away,
with all my heart and love, Kellin.

PS: I left you a gift under the bed"

I smiled wildly, I felt like, for a while that kellin was still here, his plan had worked as I closed my eyes and imagined his arms around me. I decide to go to sleep, I wanted a reason to be excited for the morning, and whatever was under the bed was just that. My reason to smile and get through tomorrow. I dreamed of Kellin and his beautiful blue eyes watching me as I slept, I felt safe under his gaze.... I missed him.