The Dilemma.

Today I woke up to a muffled argument down stairs. I jumped off my bunk, after looking out and seeing most of the curtains closed but Josh’s, and went downstairs and found, you guessed it, Josh on the phone with someone arguing. I didn’t want to intrude so I turned back around and went to busy myself with some coffee. I was about to finish my first cup when Josh finally noticed my presence.

“How much of that did you hear?” He asked.

“I woke up to it, but I haven’t been really paying attention to what you’ve been saying don’t want to be rude and all that jazz. I’ve been paying attention to this wonderful coffee machine you have” I shrugged and downed the last of it and poured myself another cup moved around him and sat on the couch.

“Well, sorry I woke you up with all the yelling and stuff. Just been having some lady issues.” He rubbed the back of the neck.

“Eh. I was gonna wake up soon anyways. Oh hey! Do you know when the new episode of Doctor Who comes on?” I raised my eyebrow in hopes that he watches the show.

“That would be a question for Max. He watches it all the time, I think he was watching it last night.” He shrugged and left the room before I could even say thanks. I wonder why he never seems to be able to stay in a room long enough to even have a full conversation. Oh well, I just hope he knows that he’s going to have to sooner or later because I can’t do my work unless he at least lets me in enough to write an article about it. Fuck, I need to check my email. I sat my coffee down on the table and went to get my laptop, some pens and paper and ran back downstairs quickly. I sat back down on the couch and opened up my email to see if Catherine replied. She did. She was saying that her and another one of the people at Kerrang talked and decided that an article a week would be more than enough and that my idea was cool. I sighed that makes things so much easier. I started writing ideas down on my notebook when it was ripped away from me. I looked up and there was Chris reading over the half-finished sentence on the page.

“You know, that’s a really good idea. Portraying us as animals and all.” He said sarcastically.

“Well. I mean look at Max, he could pass.” I smiled. Chris gave me my notebook back.

“This is true.” He laughed I got up and got myself another cup of coffee.

“You do realize that Dan and Max are super serious about the whole not letting you do stuff by yourself right?” he raised an eyebrow at me.

“I am now.” I sat down beside him and sat on my legs, then sipping on my coffee.

“I don’t know about Josh, Matt or Dan because I haven’t really talked to them about it, but me and Max see you as a sister now. Even though you’ve only been around us for a day. And honestly I don’t think I’ve ever met someone to have the ability to make Max actually listen.” I raised my eyebrows. “I don’t know why it’s you either but something about you just makes him actually listen to what you say. And really pay attention.”

“I’m guess I’m just that cool.” I smiled. Then I figured why not ask. “Do you know why Josh can’t really be in a room with me, let alone hold a conversation with me?” I leaned my head on his shoulder; Chris was definitely becoming the person I will hang out with most. I liked his quiet demeanor, it was calming.

“Don’t worry about Josh; he goes through his spells where he doesn’t really talk to anyone. Apparently he’s been having girlfriend troubles lately. So don’t let it bother you.” He gave me a hug.

“Thanks Chris.”

“No problem Rae,” he rested his head on top of mine while still in our hug and we sat there or a few minutes. “I just realized you need a nickname.”

I laughed “Anything but red.” Then moved to where I was curled up into his side with my head still on his shoulder.

“Why is that?”

“That’s what Mom used to call me.”

“OH, I understand that.” He sighed. “I’ll think of one. I might just go with Squirt.”

“Like from Finding Nemo?” I laughed

“Yeah from Finding Nemo, I’m sure you like it more than Lady Rae which Max has started calling you.”

“Yeah Squirt wins.” I laughed and we sat there, with my head on his shoulders and his head resting on top of mine for a while. I didn’t realize I fell asleep until I woke up with my head on Chris’ lap with his arm around my waist and snoring. The snoring was quite amusing. I heard quite shuffling and muffled talking. I leaned up trying not to wake Chris up and looked around and saw Dan and Max with their phones out.

“Do you know how long I was asleep for?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

“We’ve been awake for about three hours now and you two have been asleep since we got down here.” Dan shrugged.

“I also got some nice pictures of the two of you sleeping.” Max laughed.

“Let me see them.” I said.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t wanna.”

“I will take your phone and not give it back if you don’t show me the pictures.”

“But a lady would do no such thing.” He smirked at me. I dived on him and took his phone away then ran upstairs and too my bunk. Max followed back quickly. “Give me my phone back!!!”

“Nope. Hey Dan come here!” He shouted an ok back as Max was whining about giving him his phone back.

“What do you need?” He said from outside my bunk.

“Get in.” I said. I heard him trying to get Max out of the way and finally he got into my bunk.

“What you need?” He smirked.

“Nothing like that Flint. Help me break Max’s phone lock.” I slightly pushed him.

He took Max’s phone out of my hand, “That’s an easy one.” He typed something in and bam his phone was unlocked.

“Well that’s no fair.”

“He’s had the same lock code since he got that phone.” He laughed. Max was still trying to get his phone back.

“Now to look at those pictures.” I took the phone from Dan and started looking at the more than 2o pictures of Chris and I sleeping. “MAX! Is it necessary to take all those pictures?”

“Yes it was the two of you looked adorable.”

“She always looks adorable.” Dan said and winked at me. I rolled my eyes at both of their comments and sent a few of the pictures to my phone. “Hey how come Max gets your number before I do.” He nudged me.

“Cause he was the one with pictures of me that I need to send to Tina because she’d kill me if I didn’t.”

“Now who said I didn’t take pictures either?” I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Max come get your phone!” I shouted, in two seconds he was in my bunk.

“How the hell are the three of us fitting in here?” I raised my eyebrows as I handed Max his phone and Dan handed me his, thankfully unlocked, phone.

“We moved your suitcases to the front room at the front of the bus.” Dan said. I shrugged and went looking at the pictures of Chris and I asleep on Dan’s phone sending a few to my phone.

“Whose number is this?” Max asked as he shoved his phone in my face.

“It’s mine loser.”

“Oh okay Lady Rae.”

“I will push you out of here if you keep calling me that.”

“Lady Rae.” He then got shoved out of my bunk.

“You are not allowed to speak to me until you give up on that ridiculous nickname.” I said while leaning over Dan, though probably not my best idea, with my head out the curtain.

“I could really get used to this view.” Dan said with what I’m sure a smirk on his face. I quickly leaned back.

“Don’t make me push you out too.” He held up his hands in mock surrender with a smirk on his face. And I was right about that.

“So do I have to ask why you aren’t wearing pants?”

“I don’t sleep in pants. Actually I don’t sleep in clothes but being on this bus with the 5 of you and I have no idea if one of you is just gonna pull me out of my bunk one day to be annoying while I’m asleep. I’d rather be clothed when that happens.”

“Well, I don’t know about everyone else, but I would love to see you naked.” He winked at me

“One more chance Flint and you have the same fate as dear Max.”

“Alright, alright.” I just rolled my eyes at him and got my phone out finally and saved both his and Max’s number and saved the pictures of Chris and I.

“Gimmie your phone.” I poked him.

“Why?”

“Gonna get the others numbers that way I have them.” He handed over his phone. “Lock code.”

“321.” I did his lock code and went through his contacts until I got Matt’s and Chris’

“Where’s Josh’s number?” I raised an eyebrow.

“It’s under gay lover.”

“I would ask why, but I have a feeling I don’t even want to know.”

“FLINTCESCHI IS REAL!” Josh shouted from his bunk.

“LISTENING TO PEOPLES CONVERSATIONS IS RUDE!” I shouted back. He pulled open my curtain.

“Getting people’s phone number without permission is rude; also trying to steal my boyfriend is rude too.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

“Real mature there Josh. Real mature. I accept your first one as rude, but I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend as if I was you would know.” I replied as I typed in his number and sent him a quick text calling him rude. “I just sent you a text.”

He looked up from his phone “No really who else has called me rude in the past day or so? Don’t answer than Dan.” I just rolled my eyes and shut my curtain back. “That was rude.” Josh yanked my curtain back open.

“I can do it again. See.” I shut it again. He opened it and called me rude again and shut it.

“Well, that has to be the longest conversation I’ve had with him ever.” I said.

“Wait you mean that was the most you two have talked?” Dan raised his eyebrow at me. I nodded

“He usually is in a real hurry to leave the room after I enter it and never says more than two or three sentences to me.”

“Don’t worry about it, he has mood swings.”

“That’s what Chris told me.” I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me much, I’ll deal with it until I absolutely have to talk to him for my articles and stuff. Then if I have to I’ll duct tape him to a chair and force him to talk to me.”

“That seems a bit harsh.” Dan laughed.

“What must be done must be done. I can’t afford to not get this job. I’ll do anything I have to, to make sure that I get enough material for an article a week.”

“Okay then.”

“Anyways, when’s your first show?”

“Tomorrow. We’re getting to the venue tonight.”

“Nice to know, but now can you please leave so I can change.”

“You can change in front of me.” He winked; I pushed him out of my bunk and stuck my head out.

“Told you that I’d push you out next time you made a comment of that nature.” I stuck my tongue out at him and jumped down next to him and went and got my clothes out of one of my suitcases. When I walked back he was still on the floor. I attempted to climb into my bunk without showing him my underwear. Didn’t work so well.
“Nice underwear there Rae.”

“Don’t push it Daniel. Don’t push it.” I finally got into my bunk and closed the
curtains and quickly got dressed, into actual clothes today, not sweats. I feel like I deserve a prize for this. I got out my phone and sent Tina one of the pictures that Dan took of Chris and I sleeping and told her that Dan and Max were creepers and took it and more. Then I sent one to Chris. Just to fuck with him. Hell I don’t even know if he’s awake or not. When I got down from my bunk again Dan wasn’t on the floor. So I went downstairs and sat next to a still sleeping Chris, then started poking him.

“What do you want Squirt?” He said with one eye open.

“Well to wake you up and to tell you to check your phone.”

“Why do I need to check my phone?”

“Just do it, please?” I pouted at him

“Ugh fine. Just don’t pull that face again.” I smiled and clapped. He got his phone from his jeans. “I’m assuming this is your number?” I nodded. “Who took the picture?”

“I think Dan took that one. Him and Max were being super creepers while we were asleep and took pictures of it. I have more on my phone.”

“Let me see.” I pulled up all the pictures of him and I on my phone and we looked through them, him occasionally telling me to send one to him. Then he saw the picture that I took yesterday. “Hey! That’s not cool!” He whined.

“It was a fantastic picture. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I laughed at him.

“I had a huge mouth full of food.”

“I know, it’s great.” He shoved me.

“Play nice you two.” Matt said while coming down stairs.

“Never.”

“So why did Dan fall out of your bunk earlier?” Matt raised an eyebrow at me while Chris laughed

“I needed to change; he wouldn’t leave so I pushed him out.” They both laughed at this while I shrugged.

“Of course.”

“So, Chris I totally had a semi-conversation with Josh, like more than three sentences.”

“How did that go?”

“First he shouted something about Flintceschi being real, and then called me rude after I called him rude. He accused me of trying to steal Dan away from him or something. Called me rude again and then left.”
“Progress?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Yupp, though I told Dan that I’ll probably end up duct taping him to a chair
if he doesn’t have a full conversation with me by the end of the week.”
“Why?”

“Well, how else am I supposed to get enough information out of him for an
article a week if he won’t talk to me? Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that jazz.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He poked my side. I just laughed.

“You two seem all cozy.” Matt waggles his eyebrows at us; I had forgotten he was there. Both Chris and I started laughing loudly after what he said
processed.

“No, just no. She’s like a sister.”

“He’s already claimed me as a sister, and I need a big brother anyways.”
Matt held his hands up. “Alright then whatever you say.” He laughed and sat
down beside me. “So I think this is the first time we’ve seen you in normal
clothes instead of sweats.”

“Sweats are more comfortable. Actually getting dressed like this takes time. I’m lazy.”

“I’m getting you a prize or something.” Chris pushed me into Matt, who then pushed me into Chris. This then turned into a game of ‘Let’s push Rae into the other person for twenty minutes straight and ignore her protest for us to stop’

“Next person to push me is getting pushed off the couch.” They stopped
“Thank you. Anyways I need to find Max.” I got up and went through the downstairs of the bus, not finding him. I went back to Chris and Matt
“What’s Max’s full name?”

“Why?”

“Trust me kay?”

“Max Michael Helyer.” I smirked after Chris told me then screamed his name at the top of my lungs. He bolted downstairs.

“What?! Is something wrong?!” He was looking back and forth frantically.

“No nothing’s wrong. I just needed to find you. I have a question.”

“What is it?” He rolled his eyes at me.

“I need to know when the last episode of Doctor Who was, I was told by Josh that you watch it.” He grabbed my hand and started pulling me
upstairs and then to his bunk, which was under mine and beside Dan’s.

“Sit.” I sat down as he pulled out his computer. He pulled open a website, which I then realized was the new episode of Doctor Who

“Play it!”

“I will. Wait you’re gonna need tissues.” He got up and ran to the bathroom then brought back a whole role of toilet paper.

“Will I really need all of this?”

“No, you’ll need about half of it. I’ll need the other half.” He said and sat back down.

“Wait before you play let me do something.” I pulled out my phone and texted Dan to bring me some popcorn. He asked why, I told him to do it. He complained but soon he was in front of Max and I with a bag of popcorn. I took it out of his hands and smiled at him, “Thanks Dan. You can leave now unless you want to watch Doctor Who with Max and I.” He then told us to scoot over and made Max and I trade places where I was now in the middle stuck between them.

“Can we watch the show now?” Max whined, after not getting to hold the popcorn or his computer.

“Yes we can. Now if either of you talk during this I will hit you.” They nodded and I pressed play. We watched the whole episode, ate all the popcorn and as Max predicted cried a lot.

“I can’t believe they had to leave that way!”

“I know!! And River slapping The Doctor! That was great!” Max and I were talking about the show while walking downstairs to see what everyone else
was doing.

“TEN MINUTES TILL WE GET OFF THIS BUS AND GET FOOD!!!” Matt was running around in a circle and talking rapidly about food.

“Does anyone know what time it is?” I asked.

“It’s five.”

“Thanks.” I pulled out my phone to call Tina but she was calling me instead.

“I GOT THE JOB! I GOT THE JOB FOR AP. I GOT THE JOB!!!!!” Tina was screaming into my ear so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear
for a second.

“YAY! I’m so proud of you wifey! When do you start?”

“Next week, I get on a plane to LA tomorrow for a prep stuff! And that’s not even the best part. For my first job they’re flying me out to three dates of You Me At Six’s tour!”

“HOLY SHIT NO WAY?!?! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING? I GET IT SEE YOU IN HOW MANY DAYS?”

“ONLY TWO WEEKS, TWO WEEKS UNTIL WE ARE REUNITED!!!!!! AND AND AND I GET TO BE ON THE BUS WITH YOU!!”

“OH MY GOD THIS IS GREAT HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! TINA’S GONNA BE HERE IN TWO WEEKS HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS YOU GET TO MEET MY BEST FRIEND!!!” I continued screaming with Tina until Chris threw me over his shoulder and took me off the bus. “TINA!!! CHRIS IS BEING MEAN TO ME!”

“NO I’M NOT!” He shouted to her.

“You are too, it is not nice to throw people over your shoulder and haul them places.”

“RAE RAE RAE I HAVE TO GO PACK I LOVE YOU WIFE!”

“I LOVE YOU WIFE TWO WEEKS!” and then she hung up. “Are you gonna put me down anytime soon Chris?”

“Nope. Not until we get inside the venue.” At this point he got on a skateboard and started skating to where ever it was that I was being taken to.

“Ugh fine. When are we getting food?”

“After we get the venue tour we’re going to some fast food place to get food. Probably Nando’s since that’s what Dan and the rest of the guys live off of.”

“Why did you throw me over your shoulder?”

“Cause you were too busy freaking out about her coming in two weeks to notice we were here.”

“Why are you being mean?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?”

“Touché big brother touché.”

“I totally win.”

“No you just had a valid response. Why are we getting to the venue tonight when you guys don’t play here until tomorrow?”

“Because we can get the feel of it before we actually play it. We only do this on the first day of tour though.”

“Did Max force you to do this?”

“No, Dan did.”

“Can I kill Dan?”

“Can you stop asking so many questions?”

“No. Can you put me down?”

“No.”

“Can I still kill Dan?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we need a drummer and unless you can learn all of our songs on drums and replace him, you can’t kill Dan.” He sat me down and patted my head.

“You never said I couldn’t injure him.” I laughed and ran away looking for Dan. “DANIEL FLINT! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!” I then spotted him and ran toward him then tackled him to the ground. He started to open his mouth. “Don’t speak a word or this will be very bad for you.” He raised an eyebrow at me. I started hitting his chest.

“OW BLODDY FUCK WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR?” He shouted as I heard the rest of the guys laughing.

“For. Telling. Chris. To. Throw. Me. Over. His. Shoulder.” I said every word with a punch to the chest then got up and walked back over to Chris and Max who were laughing. “30 bucks says he has a giant bruise on his chest in an hour.” I raised an eyebrow at them.

“You are so on.” Max grinned and we shook hands.

“What am I going to do with the two of you?” Chris sighed.

“Who’s the one asking all the questions now huh?” I stuck my tongue out at him

“Still you.” He rolled his eyes.

“Can we go do something? Like explore? We should go explore!” Max whined. Chris raised an eyebrow as if asking if I wanted to go.

“Sure why not?” I shrugged. The three of us started walking around the venue, going to find the showers first; I need one of those tonight. We were just walking around aimlessly.

“So, what exactly does Tina do?” Chris asked finally making some conversation.

“She’s a photographer for AP.”

“Hey! We’ve got a thing in AP next issue.”

“I know! That’s why she’s coming out in two weeks for three days, she’s gonna take all the pictures for it. It’s her first paying job for AP.”

“That’s pretty cool. She gets to come out with us for three days?”

“She sure does. I’m excited. I’m sure she won’t bring her knife though. Can’t take that through the airport.” Max and Chris laughed.

“I’m sure that will make Dan feel better.” Max laughed.

“Oh yeah.” We lapsed into a comfortable silence and for the first time since being on tour I thought about him. I wonder what he’s doing right now. What he’s done with his life, what he looks like, if he acts anything like Mom did. Or if he acts like Dad. If his eyes get that same spark in them that mom’s did when we were about to do something really stupid or
dangerous, most of the time both.

“Rae. Rae. SQUIRT!” I looked around and Max had left and Chris was just looking at me.

“Huh?”

“You just stopped walking and stuff and haven’t said anything for the past five minutes. You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking about my brother. I just wonder what he’s like sometimes.” I sat down on the floor next to the wall Chris came and sat beside me.

“The offer to help look for him still stands you know.”

“I know I just don’t want to get my hopes up or anything. Because I feel that if I try to find him I won’t be able to, and if I don’t things will just happen like their supposed to.”

“Alright, just if you ever change your mind let me know, and we’ll start looking ok?” I nodded. “How about we stop exploring and we got get some food? Just us, I’m not up for Nando’s anyways.” He offered his hands to me so we could help each other up. Once we got up we started walking towards the exit. About half way there Max, Dan, Matt and Josh saw us. They ran over and tackled me in a hug.

“You ok?” They all asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Chris and I are just going to get some food.” I smiled after they released me.

“Can we come?” Dan asked.

“Nope,” Chris said “We aren’t going to Nando’s anyways so you’ll have to get your own food.”

“You two are no fun.” Josh whined.

“You four can fend for yourself I’m sure.” I laughed and Chris and I left and walked to the closest diner we found. Once inside we sat down and ordered our food.

“So, do you know what he looks like? Your brother I mean.”

“I have a picture of him when he was one with my dad and a few after he was born and stuff but that’s it. From the picture I have that mom took before she left he looks a lot like Mom did. Brown hair, brown eyes, short. I just wonder if he acts like mom did. Spontaneous, insane, gets a spark in his eye when he’s about to do something really stupid, or dangerous. Or both if he’s anything like mom.”

“Why did your mom leave, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t mind, if it were any of the other guys I would but it’s easy to talk to you. But she left because when she found out she was pregnant with me, she went to Dad’s job to tell him and found him cheating on her. So she just left. She told me she wrote my brother a letter and left it with him but she thought that dad never gave it to him and let him think that the woman he cheated on mom with was his mom.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if she ever told him, I don’t think she did. If she did maybe he’s looking for me. Maybe not. I don’t know.”

“Well, you know what Squirt?”

“What’s that?”

“You have a new family now. You have Max, Dan, Matt, Tina, Me, and even Josh though he’s in one of his diva moods lately.” He smiled at me.

“Thanks Chris. It means a lot.”

“It’s the truth, but anyways on to happier subjects. When’s Tina coming?” Our food was given to us right after he said that. We ate and talked about what we were gonna do when we got back to the bus, how excited Tina is to come meet the guys, officially, and to see me again. He told me about his girlfriend Georgie, his family and how the band started and anything else we could talk about. Once we were done he refused to let me pay, we argued over that for a good five minutes. We walked back to the bus in silence me smoking a cigarette and him telling me it’s bad for me. I rolled my eyes at him anytime he said this. Once on to the bus I got tackled into to couch.

“Wanna play Fifa?” Max asked.

“Nah I’m good.” I shook my head. “Can you get off me now though?”

“No.” I pushed him off.

“Too bad.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You two are real mature you know that right?” Chris laughed as he sat down. I lay my head in his lap.

“Sure do.”

“You know I’m not some pillow for you to use whenever you please.” Chris started playing with my hair.

“Yes, but you always seem to be around when I feel like using the next person who sits down as a human pillow.”

“You can use me as a human pillow Rae.” I looked over at Dan and he winked at me.

“Take off your shirt?”

“Why?”

“Do it.” I rolled my eyes and he took off his shirt. “Hey Max. Pay up.”

“What?” Max paused his game and looked at me. I pointed at Dan, who did have this huge bruise on the middle of his chest. “Fuck. Woman holy shit.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me the money.

“What just happened?” Dan looked between the two of us.

“They bet that you would have bruise in an hour after she beat the shit out of you. Max lost thirty saying that you wouldn’t.” Chris laughed.

“You can clothe yourself again, tough I am really proud of that bruise, cause it’s fucking huge, I’d rather not see you shirtless anymore.”

“Afraid you’re gonna stare?”

“Hardly. I don’t wanna puke.”

“Ouch. That really hurt.” He put his hands over his heart.

“Awe, poor you. I don’t care, put on your shirt.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

He put his shirt back on, “She’s right. Definitely not a fucking lady that one.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I never claimed to be. It was you and Max that said I was. Your fault.”

“Whatever loser.” Max rolled his eyes and went back to playing his game. We all stayed in there, minus Josh he was not to be seen. Soon after Dan and Matt went to go do something and Josh still hadn’t shown up, I soon fell asleep on Chris lap.